I learned everything I know about fairness from the Goddess of Pop and her body double.

Cher and Cher-alike.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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Love a good Ren Faire pun! imgur.com/pZxCKJ3
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pickledpineapple
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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I came in first at the science fair and received a new telescope...

It wasn’t bad for a constellation prize.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bci1516
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Life just isn't fair sometimes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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Today, in a cultural fair, I found someone was giving away free balloons to children

No strings attached.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manantyagi25
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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My son's science fair entry was a volcano made of a fat product from rendering the fatty tissue of a pig. My son's fat teacher waddled around everywhere when he set it off...

The lard ash was everywhere!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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What’s a weasels favourite ride at the fun fair?

The Ferrets Wheel

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stiltonfondu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I had an anecdote about menstruation fall flat at the renaissance fair

Of all people, you’d think they’d appreciate a period joke

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LarsBlackman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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My 7 yo son's contribution: What has three eyes and can't see? (to be fair i's)

Mississippi

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitormiss43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Is not fair to get mad at lazy people...

They didn’t do anything.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe-manzon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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The legalize cannabis party had a fair few stoners voting for it this past election, but not enough to gain power

That’s a lot of wasted votes

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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if you know then a fair tetsutetsu to you
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bluearcher1600
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Two British monks set up a small snack stand at the parish fair.

They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was

the chip monk!

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/franksymptoms
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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You know what feels like it should be fair but isn't?

Carnival

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmAGodKalEl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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"I'm fairly certain that I stole my son's really strong beer from the bridge."

"What percent?"
"I'm about 80% sure."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Unemployed Pilot (Dad still killing it at 70)

My dad just sent me this (couldn't help but groan, even as a dad myself):

I had a fella in painting and decorating the house for the last three days, I got chatting to him and it turns out he is actually a Ryanair pilot on PUP (Pandemic Unemployment Payment - social welfare in Ireland for those affected by Covid), he is decorating now to try and pay his mortgage, sad times but in fairness he did a great job on the landingπŸ˜¬πŸ‘

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Garbarrage
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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I'm a fairly new dad and I'm proud of this

I was out grocery shopping yesterday and was looking at wines. The lady next to me grabbed a bottle but knocked another bottle to the floor. It broke and red wine went everywhere. I said the first thing that came to mind...

"Caught you red handed".

She looked and me and started laughing. One of my proudest moments.

πŸ‘︎ 220
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingLui014
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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thats a fair point
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ftejadal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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You can't not say it

In a freak accident today,a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair,the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frudedude
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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We named our band Windmill

So people would assume we had a fairly large fan base

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moneybot13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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I may be an introvert, but I have a fairly successful ore industry.

I mine my own business.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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I'm done with dating mermaids.

I'm ready for A riel woman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cobclob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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(fairly certain this is original) I'm out to eat with my girl and the server tells us to scan the barcode on the table to see the menu.

After taking our order and asking if we want anything else, I point at my phone and ask if she can leave us a menu just in case.

I think I wrote my first dad joke original on something new to this changing world!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yadnivek
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Sheep’s name at local fair.
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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I just returned from my MIL's funeral, she was hit on the head during a tennis match & killed

It was a lovely service...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Lol dunno how to repost, I’m fairly new to reddit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seajew72
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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I have a defibrillator joke

I won’t say it cuz in all fairness it’s too shocking

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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The county fair had some interesting shows
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suremantank
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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A vampire was giving a presentation at a career fair.

The vampire, being hundreds of years old, had decided to conduct an experiment to see which career path was the most rewarding. He had every degree and certification you could imagine, but he settled on a surprising choice: cleaning mirrors.

When questioned, he said, "There's something about cleaning a mirror that just speaks to me. Not only can you see your progress as you go, I just know I'm helping someone see their true selves, for better or worse. I'm as surprised as you are, it's not a job I could ever see myself doing."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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found at my sisters book fair
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sp0onFromSpace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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"A Riot an the Renaissance Faire!"

Police intervened before anyone began luting.

(Stolen from today's Shoe comic strip... But too good not to share.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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man remember when we got knocked out of the world cup, shit wasn't fair..

They made us play against Trinidad AND Tobago

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teakilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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The plane I was on had a fairly hard landing...

Flight attendant gets on the intercom:

β€œThat was not the Captain’s fault. That was not our fault. That was the asphalt.”

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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If Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII was involved with politics, he’d be a republican.

He’s all right wing.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ActuallyNTiX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Why can't blind people eat ocean fish?

Because it's see-food!

my 11 year old daughter ran in here while cooking greens and dropped that knowledge on us. I couldn't be more proud lol.

edit: just wanted to let those of you who have is awards that I appreciate it! I told my daughter about them and she asked if she can keep telling jokes for me to put on here lol. should get fairly interesting.

thanks all. I hope you had a great turkey gobble day

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyberrich
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I once heard a man insult the loveable Terry Crews. I waanted to beat the shit out of him, but I knew karmic justice would judge him fairly.

He died from dysentery.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fermatajack
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Spotted at the county fair. He's probably part of the Hay-waymen
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosstaLaVista
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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My office has a fairly server mouse infestation.
πŸ‘︎ 377
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tale_of_tejon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
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Its not fair

There is only 1 fathers day in a year but every week its sunday

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheYeetmeister69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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Why do they call them fun fair games when none of them are actually fair...?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOGUEINATOR
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Got my girl to roll her eyes with this one at the fair.

There were costumed food characters on stage in a cooking demonstration at the fair we were at (ice cream, churro, orange, and really round corn on the cob).

As the corn character was introduced, I turned to my girlfriend and said, "Aww shucks, that corn is a little husky."

The immediate look of disdain and the eye roll from her is my reason for living.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkelsey4610
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2016
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Fair enough
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hados1109
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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My dad never loved me as a child..

In fairness, I wasn’t born until he was an adult

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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What a down to Earth guy
πŸ‘︎ 274
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainJon720
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

πŸ‘︎ 238
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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