What’s a weasels favourite ride at the fun fair?

The Ferrets Wheel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stiltonfondu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I had an anecdote about menstruation fall flat at the renaissance fair

Of all people, you’d think they’d appreciate a period joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LarsBlackman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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The legalize cannabis party had a fair few stoners voting for it this past election, but not enough to gain power

That’s a lot of wasted votes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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My 7 yo son's contribution: What has three eyes and can't see? (to be fair i's)

Mississippi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitormiss43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Is not fair to get mad at lazy people...

They didn’t do anything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe-manzon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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if you know then a fair tetsutetsu to you
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bluearcher1600
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Two British monks set up a small snack stand at the parish fair.

They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was

the chip monk!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/franksymptoms
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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You know what feels like it should be fair but isn't?

Carnival

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmAGodKalEl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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thats a fair point
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ftejadal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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A vampire was giving a presentation at a career fair.

The vampire, being hundreds of years old, had decided to conduct an experiment to see which career path was the most rewarding. He had every degree and certification you could imagine, but he settled on a surprising choice: cleaning mirrors.

When questioned, he said, "There's something about cleaning a mirror that just speaks to me. Not only can you see your progress as you go, I just know I'm helping someone see their true selves, for better or worse. I'm as surprised as you are, it's not a job I could ever see myself doing."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Sheep’s name at local fair.
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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found at my sisters book fair
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sp0onFromSpace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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The county fair had some interesting shows
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suremantank
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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man remember when we got knocked out of the world cup, shit wasn't fair..

They made us play against Trinidad AND Tobago

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teakilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Spotted at the county fair. He's probably part of the Hay-waymen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosstaLaVista
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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Its not fair

There is only 1 fathers day in a year but every week its sunday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheYeetmeister69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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Why do they call them fun fair games when none of them are actually fair...?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOGUEINATOR
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Fair enough
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hados1109
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Two men go to a job fair seeking employment [long]

They scan the room and approach the table of an available recruitment officer. "Hello gentlemen, please have a seat and we can begin." The two men sit in the chairs and pull up to the table. "Now," says the recruitment officer, "hopefully we can find employment for both of you based on your prior work experience. We have a wide variety of jobs available. I'll ask you some questions and we can go from there." The two men nod eagerly in agreement. The officer turns to the first man. "Can you tell me what you did for work before today?" "I'm a pilot," the man replies. "Oh, that's great," the officer exclaims, "I already know that we are definitely looking for pilots!" He takes some notes and turns to the second man. "And can you tell me what you did for work before today?" "I'm a wood cutter," the man says in reply. "Oh, dear," the officer says, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but we have don't have any positions like that. I'm afraid we can place your friend, but not you." "That's impossible!" the man sputters in disbelief. "I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing I can do." says the officer. "We aren't currently looking for any wood cutters." "But that's insane!" the man shouts in frustration. "If I don't cut the wood, how is he supposed to pile it?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Bankrupt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Got my girl to roll her eyes with this one at the fair.

There were costumed food characters on stage in a cooking demonstration at the fair we were at (ice cream, churro, orange, and really round corn on the cob).

As the corn character was introduced, I turned to my girlfriend and said, "Aww shucks, that corn is a little husky."

The immediate look of disdain and the eye roll from her is my reason for living.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkelsey4610
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2016
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I won the giant pickle competition at the state fair!

It’s kinda a big dill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I've been trying to get the local renaissance fair reenactors to change the way things are run...

It's an exercise in feudality!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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If a guy is addicted to masturbating but then gets addicted to sex, is it fair to say

His addiction got out of hand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Daughter: "Dad! My little brother said I'm as chubby as the blue ribbon steer at the State Fair!"

Dad: "That isn't very nice but it's a reasonable fat simile."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Die4Cy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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For the first time ever, the Wisconsin State Fair has a competition where cattle draw maps.

It's the first annual Cowtography competition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TBoneMKE
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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My son asked if we could go to the fair this weekend. I said β€œthe short answer is yes”...

but the shorter answer is β€œno”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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Just got back from the state fair and saw the world's smallest pickle

It was no big dill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Delsincameback
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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β€œAre you going to Scarborough Fair?"

Thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme?”

All-thyme classic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamironmankevin
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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Why can farmers with two donkeys not be fair judges?

They’re bi-assed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunlightbender
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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I’m selling a dead budgie, if anyone’s interested. Fair warning though -

It’s not going cheap!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeoffB94
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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Why did the two kids go to the fair to fight?

To keep it a fair fight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seniordwarf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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Fair humor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/willurtree
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
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How do you ensure a dock gets a fair trial?

Have it decided by a jury of his piers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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There was a draw for $2000 worth of free tires at the fair today

As I was filling out the entry form, I said to the girl: "If I win this, I can re-tire!"

She didn't even acknowledge the joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scamperly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2015
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"This is not fair..."

Said the Russian who just got bad directions to the fair

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πŸ‘€︎ u/topderp1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
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My dad at the fair when he was younger... he was destined to be a dad.

After winning a live fish at the fair, my dad and his friends go out for dinner.

Dad: Do you serve fish here?

Waiter: Yes.

Dad: Ok great, (holds up fish) he'll have the steak.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2014
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My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively.

It was his Frodo-Booth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheScarletSho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Me and my GF went to the fair

As we arrived at the fair there was a directional sign that said

Fair Parking $20 ->

To which I exclaimed "They call that fair parking!? That's a ripoff!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsmith944
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2015
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Family and I are at the country fair when daughter number 2 notices a cow being massaged.

Daughter #2: Dad you know why we shouldn't buy milk from that cow?

Me: "No sweetheart why"?

Daughter #2: "With a snicker". "Because it's spoiled"!

My wife: "Groan".

Daughter #3: "Mooooooooo".

Edit: Quotes as requested.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buddhaplayshockey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
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What's a tortilla chip's favorite game at the state fair?

Whack-a-mol-ey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/parkerthedeal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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I need a pun for my science fair project from this

I'm doing a project that involves testing uv(a) rays on inside/outside cheek bacteria to see how much damage uv rays do. Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/readditoveragain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2017
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This is not fair!

- Russian after being given bad directions to the fair

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaltyLogic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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