FYI - Dove Chocolates...

Taste MUCH better than Dove Soap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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FYI, If your boat turns upside down, you can wear it on your head.

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Because it's capsized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snyluc13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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β€œGO TO YOUR ROOM!” I told my kid. She ran into her room and shored back at me β€œJUST FYI, JIM MORRISON IS OVERRATED!”

She’s so grounded. I’ve warned her repeatedly about slamming The Doors in this house!

Edit: shored= shouted obviously, damn fat fingers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/furushotakeru
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
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All step dads are faux pas

If you find this joke in the sub or other subs please link...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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What does potatoes and tomatoes have in common?

Toes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lead_the_leader
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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What do you call a dog that's running through the snow?

Daschund through the snow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDaddy1023
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Spanish train robber

A psycho was recently arrested for train robbery. He spoke both English and Spanish, although all we've heard is that he had some sort of loco motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PixxelMaster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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I have written a new book called "How to Survive falling down a staircase”

.........It is a step by step guide

Edit: oh my god wow, thank you for the silver!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cynocation
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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Why is it so hard to solve a crime in Alabama?

Because everyone has the same DNA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DallasDomino0806
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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Why is it impossible to download a banana from Torrents?

Because it has no seeds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FagAfterShag
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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Super Hero Waiter

What did the Super Hero Waiter serve to the Vegan Villain? Just-ice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NIKBOL42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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I once met a guy who didn’t like getting coins back from transactions.

I guess he has a cent sensitivity.

FYI: I thought of this joke last night at work, so to me it’s OC but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else thought of it before me. Either way I figured I’d share it, if someone posted it before me feel free to link it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vipertho
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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What do you call a high-end clothing outlet sponsored by a Norwegian band, the undead, and a magical woman?

ABBA Zombie and Witch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was InTents.

FYI I’m ready for your best fire puns.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PianoPlayer1323
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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Rude dad-joke. Wife frowned but laughed.

Discussing The Hunger Games, our teenage daughter asked, "Wasn't Katniss named after a root?" My ribald reply: "All babies get named after a root."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishslap
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2014
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Alcoholic Dog

My son got me with this one today. Fyi Merci is our dog.

Son, "Merci's an alcoholic."

Me, Huh? (confused)

Son, "because she can't control her Licker."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nannuq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2016
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Got my wife about an upcoming trip to Buda, TX.

We are heading to Buda, TX soon. Honestly, I'm not sure how to pronounce it, but I mentioned it to her and said "Bud-uh" like a Budweiser. She replied, "I think it's pronounced Boodah."

With a wry smile, I said, "I can't believe it's not Bud-uh!"

Edit: I've decided to pronounce it Bud-ah while we're there and use that response with everyone who corrects me (unless I'm right, in which case... I'm right).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtaxNOOOOOO
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2014
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