That Eiffel tower is an eyeful!
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea
I have the heart of a lion, the eyes of an eagle...
..and a lifetime ban from the zoo. 😕
What do you call a deer without eyes?
What’s yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye?
I asked my daughter, "If there’s a bee in my hand, what’s in my eye?" Rolling her eyes, she said, "I give up. What?"
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
I got ketchup on my eyes.
Ya know, in Heinzsight, that was a dumb move.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
I dated a woman once who was cross-eyed…
It didn’t work out. We didn’t exactly see eye to eye….
And besides, I’m fairly certain she was seeing someone on the side
What does “idk” stand for?
I’ve asked lots of people but nobody seems to know.
What do you call a fish with no eyes
What’s the difference between black eye peas and chick peas?
Black eye peas can sing us a song; chick peas can only hummus one.
The other day I accidentally got ketchup in my eyes.
It stung for a while and I regretted, but y’know what they say…
Heinz sight is 20/20
I know eyelashes are meant to keep things out of your eyes, but it seems to me the only things that get in my eyes and irritate them are eyelashes...
I just got contacts that are specially made to fit my eyes.
I guess they were for my eyes only.
What Happened when Hitler got soap in his eyes?
… He could Nazi.
Day 3 of posting soapy dad jokes for a week!
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
I’ll tell you what always catches my eyes?
Short people with umbrellas
What did one eye say to the other eye
Between you and I something smells
What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it
There was a pair of eyes staring at me on the internet the other day
There were just Googly eyes
As i handed my dad his 50th birtday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough"
My family wanted me to fly out for the holidays. I told them I couldn't because I was banned by all airlines. When my family asked "why". I looked them dead in the eyes and told them the truth- It's because....
[META] What do you call a deer with no eyes?
What did the right eye say to the left eye...
Where is the middle eye ?
What has a bulging, slightly monstrous eye that watches from a somewhat dark tower?
I once had a girlfriend who was cross-eyed, but we had to breakup.
Yeah, we could never see eye-to-eye.
I've been rubbing ketchup in my eyes every day for the past month.
In heinz-sight, probably wasn't a good idea.
I broke up with my girlfriend who was cross eyed.
I guess we didn’t see eye to eye
How do Vikings treat itchy red eyes?
If you have one “good eye,” then your other eye is Australian.
"i'll have my eyes on you"
Have you heard about the cross-eyed teacher?
He has a lot of trouble controlling his pupils.
What did the cannibal get when he was late to the dinner party?
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE CROSS EYED TEACHER?
She couldn't control her pupils.
What do you get if you have the eyes of a hawk, heart of a lion, and the ears of a fox?
A lifetime ban from the zoo
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
What did one eye say to the other eye?
There’s something between us that smells.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
“You know, one would have been enough.”
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
“Between you and me, something smells.”
The black eyed peas can sing us a tune...
But the chick peas can only hummus one!
What do you call a deer who lost its eyes?
The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune
But the chick peas can only hummus one.
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