The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump should drop the ball in Times Square on New Years Eve

He certainly has plenty of experience

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DigThisMyBrother
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Well, it's that time on New Year's Eve. I'll see you all...

tomorrow.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kellzone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't know why people expect Time's Square to put on a decent New Year's Eve show.

They're always dropping the ball.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Christmas Eve is special because...

...it's one of the only day where tomorrow is the present day.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JHolden814
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did the keys on a computer keyboard went to celebrate new years eve

To the space bar !!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DumbA5h
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Adam say to Eve on December 31st and Jan 1st?

Happy New Years Eve

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t wait for New Years Eve

So on January 1st I can say β€œI guess hindsight is 2020!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.

She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:

Icy, what you did there.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: going to my friends for new year's eve celebration

My dad: See you in a year.

Ps. It happens every damn time

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xKarmelx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know what to wear to the living room New Year's Eve

I might not even go

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckarooBanzii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to pick up cheese dip for the New Years Eve party.

So I replied, "K, so?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year's Eve?

Times Square.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why will people be sedated this new year’s eve?

Because it will be 2020 24 hours to go.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cbt711
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t Adam and Eve gamble in the garden of Eden?

Because God took away their paradise.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kerfandrosSr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Eve get the blame for eating the apple?

After all, it was Adam's apple!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Adam said to Eve when she was feeling sleepy?

Everest

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
After Eve did what was forbidden

Adam was very fruitstrated

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fun-dan
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't Eve get Chicken Pox?

She'd Adam.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InterwebWeasel
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Thought you all might enjoy the art I made for new ears eve
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/duskyfoxer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The new year eve countdown has begun
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I really wish I had made a pun about how we celebrate New Years Eve in Times Square.

I really dropped the ball on that one.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa doesn't need to pay for parking on Christmas Eve.

It's on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Mrs. Clause say to Santa Clause on Christmas Eve?

β€œWatch our for the rain, dear.”

-a tour guide earlier today

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnonymousCat21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
An old couple were eating dinner on christmas eve.

The old man was cheery and happy while his wife did not share his joy. The old man said; "honey why're you grumpy? It's christmas!" She said; "but deer look! All our crops are dying if this goes on we won't survive the winter. We need a christmas miracle for that." The old man looked outside and said; "Honey, look a christmas miracle!" The old lady got filled with glee and looked outside, and there was santa flying in his sleigh. She said; "But honey was wasn't hoping for santa in his sleigh, I was hoping for rain-dear!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DinoDongo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The first computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple that barely had any memory. One byte, and everything crashed.

It probably ran on Python

Credit: u/FriendofHolySpirit

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubic-Zirconia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
The Sonic the hedgehog trailer has dropped right on the eve of Ramadan, this is a subtle nod to the fact that Sonic's gotta go fast
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theMightyPanda27
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A couple is walking in St Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve...

They feel some precipitation.

"I think it's raining" says the man.

"No, it's snowing" says the woman.

"Why don't we ask this communist officer?" Asks the man. "He's always right! Excuse me, officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining" he says, before walking off.

The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robcap
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
🚨︎ report
Did I ever say that Eve was the first entrepreneur?

It’s true, She made Adam’s Hot Dog Stand

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silly-goose-boy
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Adam: Hey Eve do you love me?

Eve: of course, you’re the only one.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djmuhlestein
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I cant wait for new years eve 2020

Ill put on those novelty 2020 glasses and proudly say i have 2020 vision

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainCcoward
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Every year on New Year's Eve, when everyone's counting down the final 10 seconds to ring in the new year, I get up off the couch and stand up. I stand up and raise my left leg and just leave it raised for a little while until the countdown finishes and midnight strikes

that way I always start the new year off on the right foot

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear they are trying to get Barbara Walters to host the New Years Eve ball drop?

We will bring in the New Year with "I am Barbara Walters and this is 2020"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/liveyourdash3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
On a cloudy night on Christmas Eve

Santa asked Rudolph to let him know if it was going to rain. Rudolph sniffed the air and affirmed that it was going to rain. Surprised, Mrs. Claus asked Santa β€œHow did Rudolph know it is going to rain?” β€œBecause” replied Santa β€œRudolph the red knows rain, dear.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmarkcha117
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Eve mad at her husband?

For Adam good reason!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NaR_Peter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Adam say to Eve the day before Christmas?

Merry Christmas Eve

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cusecuse23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with very limited memory. Just 1 byte and everything crashed!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just one byte. And then everything crashed.

Edits: Thanks for all the awards!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deant_b01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.

And then everything crashed.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Adam say to Eve the night before Christmas?

It’s Christmas Eve. (I’ll let myself out...)

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewbaccaNZ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
If Christmas Eve is the day before Christmas, then what is the day after called?

Adam

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hathahuss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know the worlds oldet computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve?

The computer was branded by apple, but it had very limited memory. It only had 1 byte and then everything crashed

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with just one byte. And then it crashed.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buildblox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
This year’s New Year’s Eve glasses will give you 20/20 vision
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckMyPillow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Adam tell Eve the day before Christmas?

Its Christmas Eve.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous414809
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.