To err is human

To arr is pirate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xerotrope
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"

Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, upto a point."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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NEED A WEDDING HASHTAG

My friend Jenn is getting married to her fiancΓ©, Luc. Her last name is Yahiro, but she is taking his last name Freyer (pronounced fry-err). Any ideas??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tlmaurer13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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Why are the North Koreans the best at geometry?

Because they’ve got a Supreme Ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPotency
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?

A BBQ πŸ’ˆ(barber queue)

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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It's a mathematical fact that women are evil.

women= time Γ— money.

Now, we all know that time= money.

So,

women = money Γ— money = money^2

And everybody knows that money is the root of all evil:

money = √(evil)

So...

women = [√evil)]^2 = evil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roguebuckeye
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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Why do pilots see a lot of mistakes?

Because they're constantly looking through an err-plane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Morgoth-Bauglir-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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This exchange elsewhere on reddit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPozz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
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What do you call a cow that's being an ass?

a dairy-erre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotyogapantygals
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
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Do you want to hear my joke about a trumpet?

..... .......... err .... ahh I blew it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davetep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2017
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan ... (xpost /r/vegetarian)

Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan:

Ron Acerous, Sal Amander, Herb Avore, Chic Adee, Al Bacore, Paul R Baer, Al Batros, Wally Bee, Lady Bugg, Jay Byrd, Ann Chovie, Anna Condra, Barry Cuda, Terry Dactyl, Ray N Deer, Flo N Der , Erma Dillo, Ann Enome, Terry Err, Liz Erd, Ann Fibian, Dale Finn, Redd Fox, Buddy Fly, Ken Garoo, Allie Gator, Billy Goat, Pan Guin, Ann Gus, Hal Ibut, Bob Katz, Tom Katz, Anne Kelosaurous, Don Key, Ann T. Lope, Moe Lusk, C. Lyon, Chip Monk, Flo Mingo, Sal Mon, Anna Mull, Barr Nicole, Kay Nine, Kyle Otee, Al Paca, Lia Pard, Millie Pede, Ellie Phant, Arthur Podd, Jack Rabbit, Gerry Raffe, Ty Ranaceourous, Mack Rell, Wally Rus, Jack Russel, Fez Sant, Dina Sauer, Drew Sophila, Chris Station, Hal Steen, Clyde Sudale, Ann Teeter, Pan Ther, Earl Thurfworm, Tara Ann Tula, Bea Tule, Ray Venn, Bea Ver, and Beau Vine.

I couldn't have done it without your support !!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStupidVegNoob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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So son, what did you learn at school today?

Me: Errr....

Dad: Ah, err, wasn't until I was nearly finished with school till I learnt all there was to err.

This was a daily occurrence between my dad and me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mullza
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2014
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My dad's credit card joke.

So, we were in the car, on our way to a restaurant. Dad says "Hey kids, do you want to see a miracle?" obviously, we're like, err wut, ok...

Then he pulls out his visa card and says "See this? This little piece of plastic is going to turn into food, isn't that amazing?"

Yeah....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lalionnemoddeuse
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2015
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Dad compliments my intelligence

Let's say I solved a fairly simple task, Dad tells me "wow you're a fart smeller, err, a smart feller."

He's been doing this to me for like 20 years now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/piranhadub
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2014
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It's all about who you know

Talking to my dad about a friend (female) that just recently got a free table

Dad: Well i guess it's all about who you blow...err i mean who you know

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2014
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