I bought an imitation diamond engagement ring to propose to my Irish girlfriend on St Patrick's day. I just hope she doesn't notice..

..the sham rock.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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I threw an engagement ring at my girlfriend, but she dodged out of the way.

It was a near Mrs.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leif_hans
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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My buddy said he bought an engagement ring for his girlfriend that is too big.

"That's harsh," I told him, "I think she has a great body."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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The engagement ring is purrfect πŸ’
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skyybooper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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My girlfriend played golf with her friend. She lost the engagement ring I bought her in the tall grass by the fairway...

It was a diamond in the rough.

Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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I put LEDs on her engagement ring

Her face lit up when I proposed

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_randomniss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Buying an engagement ring with my dad

Getting ready to leave he says: "Do you have a picture of the ring you want?" Me:"Ya, right here on my phone." Dad:"Some guy you are, buying her a phony ring."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johngdetti
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2016
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When Archie's fiancee put her engagement ring near her ear, she could faintly hear guitars, maracas, and soothing Spanish vocals.

It was a marry Archie band.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Woman: My dog swallowed my engagement ring.

Now all I have is a diamond in the ruff.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dangruhn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2014
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Fiance talking about someone's engagement ring.

Her: Glance at her ring next time you see her.

Me: I'll be a regular Tom Glancy.

I'm sorry. I know where the door is...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommitTheFrog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2015
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There are 3 rings in a failed marriage:

Engagement ring

Wedding ring

And suffering...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Thought you'd appreciate my dadjoke marriage proposal

Back when i got engaged in 2009, my now-wife and i went for a picnic. I had the engagement ring wrapped in tinfoil in the picnic bag.

When we were done eating, i took it out but didn't unwrap it, and then i sneakily dialed her cell number. This was a bit we would do every now and then (call each other in the same room) so it wasn't that unusual.

She picks up the phone and says, "oh hello, why are you calling?"

To which i respond, "Oh i just felt like... [Unwraps tinfoil] Giving you a ring"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
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Got my wife with this gem...

http://imgur.com/OdIv0uU

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2016
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I was out playing Pokemon with my fiance when I approached a group of teens with their phones out. "Hey, I'm looking for my friend Amal..."

"Have you seen him? He's a tall Pakistani guy. Can't miss him." "No, sorry man." "Bummer... Yeah I've gotta catch Amal."

My fiance nearly threw her engagement ring at me for that one.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BriansBalloons
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2016
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Boyfriend and girlfriend jokes

Boy Clown: Since we met, I can’t eat or drink…

Girl Clown: Why not ??

Boy Clown: I’m broke.

Boy Clown: May I hold your hand??

Girl Clown: No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

Girl Clown: Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??

Boy Clown: What time was it??

Girl Clown: Say you love me! Say you love me!

Boy Clown: Okay, β€œYou love me”

Girl Clown: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

Boy Clown: Sure, what’s your phone number??

Girl Clown: I think the poorest people are the happiest..

Boy Clown: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..

Girl Clown: Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’€™t speak for an hour..

Boy Clown: Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life!

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/boyfriend-and-girlfriend-jokes/

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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3 rings of marriage

A random dad walked up to my girlfriend and I just to say:

"You two know the three rings of marriage, right?" "you've got the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and... SUFFERING"

He then walked away smiling and we never saw him again.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wolverigne
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2014
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Mens hockey change rooms never disappoint.

So sometimes I help my dads hockey team out when they're short on players and always leave with new material. They were getting on one guy for thinking about getting married and how it's a horrible idea.

Future dad: "Ya i'm in the process of finding some rings that she may like"

Dad: "Well you gotta buy three rings for her. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering"

This of course leads to laughs and another topic of how blowjobs are obsolete as the marriage goes on and to hold onto the memories of seeing women naked other than your wife.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JODYHIGHROLLER1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2014
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The 3 rings of marriage

I'm going through a bunch of job interviews now. So my Dad was talking to me about the rigors of growing up and eventually getting married.

Dad: "That's all part of growing up, soon you will have to go through the 3 rings of marriage." a smirk grows on his face

Me: "What are those?"

Dad: "Engagement ring, wedding ring, and then suffering."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smellyjimsock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2014
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My Dad on marriage.

Any time someone brings up the topic he manages to get this joke in.

There are 3 rings in marriage, not just the two. The first: The engagement ring, second the wedding ring, and third the suffeRING..

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xyz1994abc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
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My Dad's Marriage Jokes

Do you know what the 3 rings of marriage are? Engagement Ring Wedding Ring and Suffering

The shortest sentence in the English language is "I am." The longest is "I Do"

My parents are happily married, I found them funny though.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2013
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Marriage

Marriage is a 3 ring circus, fist comes the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, after that comes the suffering.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elbrule
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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There are 3 rings in marriage

Engagement ring Wedding ring Suffering

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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Three rings of marriage

Have you heard about the three rings of marriage?

There's the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and finally the suffering.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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There are three rings in a relationship.

The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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What are the 3 rings to marriage?
  1. Engagement ring
  2. Wedding ring
  3. SuffeRING

My dad just told me this joke

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlayThatContour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
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three rings of marriage

Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffer-ring

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clyde_Died
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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