Pre engagement ring Puns

I pray pray pray my GF doesnt know my account. If she does, hi babe dont read any further.

https://imgur.com/a/elX7o6Y

~~2016 3pc Gold set in OGP Merc, SQL, and Walker $2250 Shipped~~SOLD

1924 Double Eagle in a old "investment Rarities" holder the Grade doesnt have meaning but i do agree on the MS63 good luster. $2100 shipped $2050

1903-s $10 Gold liberty is a simi key date but Cleaned so $950 $940 Shipped

MS 65 1900 2 sided Crazy Toned Morgan $450 shipped

MS64 1900 2 sided Crazy Toned Morgan $400 shipped

TRADE Dollars https://imgur.com/a/elX7o6Y

MS61 1902-Bombay British Hong Kong Trade dollar w/ PCGS true view downloads $460 shipped SOLD

XF Details 1868 Trade dollar $2100 Shipped comparing it to the 2 XF coins that sold in April at the Chinese Heritage Auction this coin has substantially better strike and more detail than both. I believe this could definitely be regraded and put in an AU details holder. w/ PCGS True view download

All items will be shipped in SFRB

The 2016 Gold set probs wont fit in a SFRB so ill put it in a MFRB

If you want multiple make an offer.

PPFF or PPGS + what ever % they have decided on today.

In Required training at work which might set me back on shipping if thats ok with yall. Sad to see these go but its for a different kind of precious thing to me :)

Also please no chats.

I would rather my boyfriend buy me a pre- owned wedding/engangment ring oppose to wasting money on a new ring.

A ring loses 25% to 50% of its value as soon as you take it out of the shop...I just can't justify paying that much mark up when the same pre-owned ring is so much cheaper. Who cares that the ring has had a past? Not me LOL. It's going to be cleaned & polished to look new anyways.

Cars on the other hand...that's a different story.

I'm not talking about how overpriced diamonds are, but more along the lines that the guy is expected to drop like 10k on their fiance and dosent get a present themselves. I like shit too. I've said this and always get told "you should do it because you love them" or "it's not about the money" while I kind of agree with those statements, what really annoys me is how one side it is. I don't mind spending that much on the love of my life, but is sucks that I don't get anything cool that I like.

I understand that individual coupes could probably communicate this and get exciter nice engagement gifts, its more the societal onesidedness that digs at me

Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language.

For 5 years now I (M26) am with the love of my life (F25). I cannot express how much I love her and how important she is to me, I knew I wanted to marry her shortly after getting together. We're finally financially stable enough, so I decided now is the time.

In 2020 my gf lost her grandmother. They were super close and it hit my gf hard, especially because she couldn't have a last goodbye in the hospital (covid restrictions didnt allow visitors). In early 2021 my gf helped her sister move houses. She was wearing a ring her grandmother gave her before she passed, and lost it while carrying boxes. This had hit her even more, and even now she will still sometimes cry about this because she feels like she lost the last memory of her grandmother. We had looked for the ring, but hadn't found it. On Christmas my gf had cried again because she missed her grandmother and lamented the loss of the ring. This gave me an idea.

She spent the weekend of New Years eve with a friend, so I contacted her sister and asked if I could search her house once again for the ring. When I mentioned that I want to use the ring to propose, she was super excited. She, her husband and my gfs mother (who loved the idea as well) helped me and eventually we found the ring between some boxes in her garage (even with 4 people looking it took us hours).

I'm planning on proposing on the 14th, which is the anniversary of our first date and we always go out to do something nice then. I had mentioned it to my friends who were excited for me, but when they asked about what ring I got and I told them the story, they called me a cheapskate for not buying my gf a new ring. They also said that it's not an engagement ring. I mean, it really doesn't look like an engagement ring, because it isn't. It's a normal silver ring with an amethyst stone (my gf struggled with anxiety and her grandmother got her one because apparently those stones help against anxiety, and yes my gf believes in healing powers of stones and often wears jewelry made out of them). They also said its an asshole move to use the ring someone else paid for as an engagement ring. One friend also brought up that by connecting the ring to our engagement, I Might taint its original meaning.

Now I don't feel so confident about this anymore. I thought that since the ring has a lot of meaning to her, it might be a good engagement ring (my gf isn't big about clunky and expensive jewel

My girlfriend (22f) and I (24m) have been together for about 3 years, and I decided around 5 months ago that I wanted to propose. We share a dog and a home so it seemed the next logical step.

She’s hugely into jewellery, so I wanted to get her a really sentimental ring. At the end of September, her grandma suddenly passed away and as my girlfriend was the only granddaughter, she was passed down her wedding ring. Her and her grandma were extremely close, so I decided to ask her mom (her grandma was her dads mom) if she thought it’d be a good idea for me to use one of the diamonds in the ring for my girlfriends engagement ring. She told me that as much as she loved the idea, she didn’t know if my girlfriend would, and so told me to think about it.

I couldn’t find anything else I liked as much. My girlfriend didn’t wear the ring as she was worried about losing it, so kept it in a box in a drawer, making it easy for me to take without her realising. It ended up being a beautiful ring, and I thought she’d absolutely love the sentiment of it.

Well, I proposed. She said yes immediately and was absolutely elated, until she saw the ring. She told me I’d practically vandalised and ruined the only meaningful thing of her grandmothers that she had and that I should have asked. I went to her mom for support, but she just kept saying she warned me that my girlfriend might not like the idea. She said yes to my proposal but refuses to wear the ring, which I just think is disrespectful considering how much money and thought went into it. AITA?

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rycilz/wibta_if_i_didnt_buy_a_new_engagement_ring/

Lots of people asked for an update so here it goes:

As you can see at the date, it all went a bit different. Even tho the verdict was NAH, lots of people decided to slide into my DMs and tell me how abusive and horrible I am, how stupid my gf was etc. It really wore down on my mental health all weekend, so on Sunday I couldn't take it anymore and decided to tell her right then and use our anniversary for ring-shopping.

We got food from her fav restaurant (take out, sadly, because of Covid restrictions) and then went on a walk. That's when I pulled the ring out. As many of you expected, she cried. Happy tears. I explained how her family and I looked for it, and how I wanna make it my duty to forever make her happy. Asked her the big question. More happy tears. She said yes.

Surprisingly enough, she wasn't mad that I kept the ring for 2 weeks. She just laughed and said she couldn't believe her sister could keep it a secret (because her sister is known to often accidentally spoil surprises).

I told her that the ring is just a symbol of how I will always try to make her happy and that we can go "real engagement ring shopping" together, which was the general advice given to me in my original post. But she said she likes this ring as an engagement ring and would be happy to make it an heirloom from now on (many said in the original post that it was an heirloom, but that's not true. She got the ring from her grandma as a normal present, sorry if I made it sound like that), so the memory of her grandma can live through the next generations. She also joked about how we now have to get rose quarz wedding rings, because apparently they go well with amethysts.

Tbh I dont understand much about the whole crystalstone thing, but I'm just happy that she is happy. The last few days she wore the ring with full pride, I think she didnt even take it off for sleeping. Though she takes the "I will always try to make you happy"-thing a bit too literal and every time she asks for something she holds the ring in my face and (jokingly) says I now have to do whatever she says.

TLDR: We're engaged, she wasn't mad. Everything went well and I just overthought everything

It’s kind of ridiculous that it’s so normal in our culture to run out and buy an overpriced piece of rock to show someone that we want to marry them. I’m not against rings really, they let people show off that their engaged or married and while I don’t even wear my own wedding ring, I can certainly understand why some people want to do it. Why does it HAVE to be diamond though? There are so many materials to make a ring and set it with, many options that may be more meaningful to an individual.

Of course, nobody is stopping us from proposing with a piece of spaghetti but the second you show anyone your non diamond ring most people will instantly think it’s cheap and sad. I’m sure there will be comments about how they got such and such as an alternative and that’s great, it’s exactly what I’m asking for but it’s definitely not a common thing. Lets normalize getting alternatives! Let’s get rid of the notion that the price you pay for a ring is a sign of how much you love them. It makes no sense.

My partner is very keen to have a Tiffany engagement ring, but given the cost I wondered about buying second hand. I’ve found a few retailers and wondered if anyone had experience with Blue Chip Jewelry. The ring looks fairly legitimate and comes with the certificate, just not sure if the site is legit.

Will Tiffany resize this?

I (F26) have been with my boyfriend ADAM (M30) for 4 years. I'm not too close to his family but was close to my former sil (brother inlaw's now ex wife)

My Future mother in law gave her engagement ring to my bil to propose to sil with 3 years ago. It's an important tradition in the family to pass down the ring and since they have no daughters/sisters then the ring went to bil's ex wife. After the separation my bil got the ring back and decided to focus on his kids. now since everyone knows that Adam and I are planning to make our relationship official and pursue marriage which is our goal, His mother suggested he propose with her engagement ring that my bil already proposed with to his now ex as mentioned above.

Adam was excited with the idea but I was uncomfortable solely by the fact that this ring was proposed with more than once and also it belonged to my former sil for years and she had memories attached to it. I feel like thst ring already had more than one love story and I feel I have the right to wear a ring that represents our relationship and one that belongs to me and Adam.

Future mil wasn't happy with my opinipn and invited me to the church where she hangs out most of the time to talk and explained that it's a must for Adam as the youngst to carry the tradition and propose with this ring and it was disrespectful of me to not want it or have an issue with it since it's of high sentimental value. I explained why I had an issue with it but she implied I clearly wanted a "more shiny and expensive one". After basically shaming & wearing me down for hours about it I flatout told her that is between me and Adam but he agreed with her and said my logic don't make sense and asked if I'd refuse to buy an apartment just because someone else owned it. but an apartment is different than an engagement which in my opinion...should be a sympol of our love but my statement was met with a "I don't get it. you really think a ring is more important than us being on the same page and understanding each other? Besides, that's what my mom want and to be completely honest with you here, I'm just trying to keep the peace and stay on her good side which what you should be doing TOO right now instead of already starting an unnecessary drama and setting a bad tone for your relationship with mom".

I asked why he thought his mom's opinion was equal or more important than mine and he got offended and said I was insulting his mom and he won't let me do that next tim

My (30m) partner and I (22f) have been together over 2 years and I have never been the type to be concerned about money. My engagement ring is beautiful and I adore it that is not the issue.

I have recently discovered I have a nickel allergy. I thought it was ring rash at first and left it for a while but now my ring finger is severely red, swollen, and burning. It’s to the point I can barley put my rings on. It has also spread to middle and pinkie finger on my left hand.

I began researching rings that are nickel free and the only way to guarantee it doesn’t contain my allergen is by getting 24k gold or platinum. For those who don’t know about jewelry that is at least 3 to 5 grand. I told him about this and how I knew it would be a lot to save and I will happily wear my silicone workout band until then, but I really want a real ring he picked out to wear. He got a bit upset (not yelling or anything he’s a very great guy) and thinks it’s just me wanting something more extravagant and not appreciating what he worked for already.

I’m beginning to regret even asking and just truly wandering am I being an asshole?

Update: thank you for all the comments especially the ones offering other options. I was truly not expecting to get as many comments as I did. I just got done talking to him and he apologized for not taking the allergy seriously he was just shocked by the amount. I’m gonna go ringless until this all heals up and wear my silicone while we look at titanium and wood options. We were going to look into a lower gold but since I’ve seen comments about other people having gold allergies were gonna avoid that since I want to wear it daily for years. I will admit I was a bit of the asshole since I didn’t think to look more online and listened to a salesman first. He also wants us to look into low cost allergy treatments that aren’t directly through the doctor. Thank you all again.

So I just read a story on here about a ring that reminded me of something that happened a long time ago. I'm married now but this was when I got engaged and my husband had a given me a beautiful ring with a small cluster of diamonds.

I show some of my colleagues who complimented how beautiful it was then i show my boss. She wrinkles her nose like she doesn't like it or something then walks away.

After a while she approached me and asks if i have warranty on the ring. I say yes and she tells me to remove the diamonds and give them to her then i can claim a replacement ring. I laughed thinking she was joking but she looked at me straight faced. She wasn't joking and I told her i wasn't going to do that. Then she walked off in a huff.

I have many stories about her. She has done some crazy things. The company was once given rugby tickets by a client and they were offered to me. She was so pissed she told me not to come back lol.

Some people!

Hopefully it will be a nice ring. Otherwise, she may leave me. LFG!!

Edit: will be putting in $1.4k not $1.5k. I overestimated how much I could muster up right now 😕 hopefully won’t have this issue in a year!

Edit 2: the part about her leaving me if it’s not a good ring is a joke lmao. Thanks for your concerns, but we have been together through the good times and the rough.

I’ve (26 M) been with my girlfriend (26 F) for 4 years and we’ve recently been talking more and more about marriage.

Although my GF grew up relatively well off, for the time I’ve known her she’s been pretty low maintenance. She’s never cared about designer brands, rarely buys new clothes, and the jewellery she owns was gifted to her. I have a decent job now (80k a year) and I’ve been saving for awhile, but growing up my family didn’t have a lot of money. My GF and I have always seemed to be on the same page when it comes to saving money. I assumed she would be fine with a more affordable ring. When I started looking into rings, I discovered moissanite rings, which look similar to diamond rings but are much more affordable. I was looking at rings in the 1500 -1800 range.

When I mentioned this to her she insisted she wanted a real diamond ring and sent me links to a bunch of diamond rings that she liked. The prices ranged from 6,500-10,000. I told her that I wasn’t willing to spend that much. She seemed genuinely mad and said it wasn’t “that expensive” We got in a pretty big argument over it. I told her that it was ridiculous to ask me to spend that much and that I thought she was more reasonable than that. She said I was being cheap and that I could afford it and that I was basically saying she wasn’t worth it. I told her no one is worth a 10,000 ring...

Eventually my GF said she didn’t care and that I should get whatever ring I want but she’s clearly still mad and I know this is going to be a an ongoing argument. I’m a bit frustrated because this seems out of left field. I’ve always known marriage is super important to her but I didn’t realize she’d insist on a diamond ring.

So I talked to my older sister about it, who despite agreeing diamond rings were stupidly priced, sided with my GF and said if I could afford it, she didn’t see the big deal. She added that my GF has done “so much” for me and I was being an asshole about this.

What my sister means by my GF “doing so much for me" is that she was really supportive when I was in a serious car accident 4 years ago. I broke multiple bones and required a few surgeries. Although where I live most healthcare is covered, I was unable to work for awhile and had expenses I wasn’t able to pay. I had been dating my GF for only 6 months at the time and she was really there for me. I couldn’t pay my rent so she let me move in with her for free and helped pay for a few expenses and for physical therapy I needed.

My older brother’s fiancée was very clear to him that she wanted real diamonds in her engagement ring. He’d been saving for a long time to get her the ring of her dreams but she lost her job and he had to dip into his savings to keep them afloat until she found a new one.

I ended up giving him an old ring my ex gave to me so that he could use the diamonds to make a new ring. He proposed and his fiancée loved the ring. Recently, she asked him how he had managed to afford the ring since she had had it valued and was shocked by how much it was worth. My brother told her the truth and he said she started crying and yelling. She wanted him to take the ring back but eventually he calmed her down.

I thought the whole thing was over until the next time I saw my ex and he was furious. He didn’t outright tell me he knew, instead he kept asking me for the old ring back and got upset when I said I lost it. He called me out for lying and told me I better get the ring back and now co-parenting is hard because things are so tense between us.

I did ask my future SIL why she told him and she said because I (and my brother) were liars and she just wanted everyone to know the truth.

AITA?

https://preview.redd.it/ae5dtyzxm3b81.png?width=1057&format=png&auto=webp&s=d4fd0441d81b5616b69e4f9ffc792a26491c10bf

I (F26) just got engaged. My soon to be MIL is a nightmare. We are currently renovating a part of our place and she has been lent a key in the meantime because she keeps coming over uninvited under the guise of “helping” clean up, but she really just likes to snoop and interfere.

I do a martial art and take my engagement ring off before class. I came home from an afternoon class one day and my engagement ring was not in the jewellery dish that I usually leave it in. I asked her about it and she told me that she’d taken it to a jeweller to get it cleaned. She looked super smug about it and when I asked which jeweller, she pretended she couldn’t remember. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of having a reaction to it so I just let it slide for a couple of days.

A couple of days pass and I ask her about it again and she’s super vague, still pretending she can’t remember which jeweller and saying she’s too busy to go pick it up anytime soon. So I said, “wow, I really feel for that jeweller… hope nothing happens to her.” She asked what I meant, and I told her that my superstitious Brazilian grandmother had performed some traditional ritual on it that’s usually known to curse anyone who takes or handles the ring other than the owner. She looked uneasy and asked me a couple more questions about this ritual and I made some story up about how my mother’s ring had been taken by a burglar who was crushed by a pillar of cement on his way out of the house. (I totally made this entire ritual up and I do have a Brazilian grandmother but obviously she did not do some ritual to my ring.)

The next day, my fiancée told me while I was out that she was there to clean up a bit… Lo and behold, I get home (she had already left) and find my ring where I had left it. It didn’t look any cleaner than it had before lol.

A week later, I receive an abusive call from her saying she’d been in a minor car accident and she was blaming me and my “witch doctor” grandmother, saying she was now cursed for having touched it. I passed the phone to my fiancée who tried to calm her down, but she was hysterical. I told my fiancée what I had told her, and he scolded me a bit because we both know how she is and I should have known she’d react this sort of way.

It’s been a further week since then and she refuses to talk to me and keeps slandering me to my fiancée. Overall he sort of recognises how ridiculous she’s being, but the drama of the situation is making me wonder if the whole cu

My wife (32f) and I (33m) have been together 13 years , married for a little over 9. When we got engaged we were young and broke living on love.The ring I got her is pretty small but she seems to love it.We were the first to get married of all of my friends and her friends.Most of her friends have nice large rings and makes hers look so in significant .

My question is, for our 10 year anniversary in August I am surprising her with a trip to Nashville. What are your thoughts on me buying her a much needed upgraded engagement ring and giving it to her on the trip?Is it weird to upgrade an engagement ring? I’ve never heard of anyone doing it ,but She deserves to have a huge rock on her finger for putting up with my shenanigans!!!

Thanks in advance for your advice!

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I (25 F/M Nonbinary) am experiencing jealousy I am not sure how to get past. My primary (34 M) of 4 years recently got engaged to my metamour (22 F). I am incredibly happy for them, they seem like an amazing couple and have gotten along well for the past 8 months. She and I are great friends. However, my primary bought her a ring that I can tell is far more expensive than mine and has a far bigger stone. I'm happy for them but how do I get over this jealousy.

This didn't start with the ring. He claims he's being fair, and that when he buys one of us a gift he buys both of us gifts, but I can clearly tell that her gifts are always more thoughtful or more expensive. Or sometimes the gifts he gives me are really gifts for both of us, like when he buys gifts for my pets that she helped me pick at the pet store and comes over to visit all the time.

What makes this worse is that I have a long history of various undiagnosed dependency disorders. My therapist once described the separation anxiety I get when my primary leaves as comparable to her two year old child on his first day of preschool. I also have reason to believe my metamour has narcissistic personality disorder, and this is just feeding her sense of self importance.

I really don't like drama, but my relationships always seem to be very dramatic and I am wondering how to bring this up to my partners in a way that is constructive for everyone involved.

Where is the best place(s) to get engagement rings in New Zealand? Whether it's a large retail brand or smaller, independent jewellers - keen for some pointers.

My (21F) fiance (20M) and I have been together for a little over two years, but engaged for almost 7 months. I've always messed with my fiance about getting engaged before we did (because what girlfriend doesn't?) and have always dreamed about my dream proposal since I was a little girl. But once we started talking about marriage and proposals, I IMMEDIATELY started doing my own research; I found an independent jeweler close to him whose designs I loved, and I found a gorgeous 2 carat solitaire oval moissanite ring that was relatively cheaper because of the moissanite. This was my dream ring.

Rewind to about 2 months before the proposal: I'm on a 4 hour road trip with my best friend to go visit another friend. On the way home, my then-boyfriend started texting me "hey, what's *best friend*'s snapchat/phone number?". They never communicate so I knew something was up. Not even 5 minutes later, she pulls up Pinterest and says "Man, my Pinterest has been FILLED with wedding stuff! What kind of ring do you want?". IMMEDIATELY the bells and whistles start going off: she’s trying to tell my boyfriend what kind of ring I want. So I start showing her the jewelers, different rings, down to the exact ring I want. I peered over and I saw her sending pictures of rings to him on Snapchat. I thought I was set. Yea, not exactly.

Flash forward 2 months to the actual proposal. He took me out to dinner (he had me pick where) and we went to the water gardens, where we had our first date a year and a half prior. We started to dance to our song he played off his phone and once the song was done, he popped down on one knee and pulled out the ring box. The first thing I saw was that it said Zales on top of the box. Then when he opened the box, there was sitting the complete opposite of what I wanted: a half-carat pear shaped ring with a double halo and a ¾ pave band. Now I LOVE my fiance; he’s my best friend and I truly wouldn’t trade him for the world. HOWEVER, I definitely felt a little disappointed. What happened to the communication between him and my best friend? The conversation we had during that car ride? Of course I didn’t show the dissapointment on my face, it would’ve killed him. I said yes and just thought to myself “in 3-5 years, you can get an upgrade and get the ring you actually want”. Not to mention, he told his friend how much the ring cost IN FRONT OF ME and it was almost the same price as my ring. He also said he bought that ring because HE liked it.

7

Quite frankly I'll never understand this obsession some people have with expensive jewelry. If we ignore the thousand possible reasons why an engagement ring that is worth two months of your salary is a fucking stupid investment for a young couple, saving for a house and maybe kids, it's just a weird double standard.

Why are people so against an old fashioned lifestyle, but still base the worth of their marriage on a slogan from the 50s? (I know that's not the case everywhere but these people exist) Why is it outdated that the woman stays home and the man is the breadwinner, but at the same time men are expected to spend thousands on a ring while they get nothing in return? In my opinion the cost of the ring should at the bare minimum be split between both partners or even better yet, be completely on the person who wants it in the first place. And while we are at it, why don't we change the norm completely and women who work start to propose and gift their man a ring?

I am laughing so hard. I don’t ever listen to LaLa’s podcast bc she’s pretty insufferable in my opinion but I did this week and she tells the story of her engagement ring. Basically Randall got a “shit brown diamond” and had a jeweler brighten the color multiple times and made a statement to the tabloids that it was worth 150k. After they separated LaLa took it to get appraised and learned it was less than 20k. I am not surprised at all but I just find this story so funny.

Oooooh, Reddit. I messed up.

Over the weekend, during a fight I let slip to my husband that I never liked my engagement ring. We’ve been married almost 8 years and I know I sound like an asshole for bringing it up now (and in a fight no less) but hear me out.

He proposed to me with zero planning while he was staying at my place. It was so halfassed that I didn’t even realize it was supposed to be a proposal. I was literally standing on my back deck in stained sweatpants, watching the dog take a big dump, when he said “Hey, would you marry me?” I was like “Yeah, I would.”

I thought this was his way of bringing up the possibility of marriage. He apparently thought this was a proposal.

The next day I came home from work and he was cleaning his car in the driveway. He said “There’s a package for you on the kitchen counter.” It was a bag from Kay Jewelers with a ring inside.

We’d never talked about rings or what I like. He knew that I preferred silver toned jewelry, but that was about it. You guys, the ring was… it was fine. It’s a 0.5 ct round solitaire, I color, I2 clarity set on a 14K white gold band. He definitely got ripped off at $1200 but he’s not the type to research a purchase so he didn’t know any better.

Then he came inside all excited and proudly told me “I asked my boss if I could take an hour for lunch today and I ran over to the mall and picked this out. I knew you would love it the moment I saw it.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him, you guys. But it’s always bothered me that he put in zero effort. And that just a few weeks before I’d watched him spend $1000 on clothes and sunglasses for himself in under an hour and never even wore most of it, but he thought that 40 minutes and the same budget was appropriate for a ring I’m supposed to wear daily for the rest of my life.

Anyway fast forward to Saturday when I was pissed that he’d made another stupid mistake that made me feel like I’m not a priority and I pointed out that this has been a pattern since and including the engagement.

Now he’s really sad because he was so proud of that ring. But he understands that it’s not my style and that it’s a sad reminder of a zero-effort proposal and he’s open to an anniversary upgrade.

At this point I should also mention that I’ve never really loved my wedding band either but it was the only thing at the Kay’s Outlet store that didn’t make my e-ring look bad.

I don’t care about the price, lab grown vs natural diamo

So no I didn’t want my mom to marry me lol. What I mean is, I (32f) gave my boyfriend (28m) a Christmas wish list. He also gave me his list. I included a engagement ring from Etsy that I really like, on mine.

Well my mom asked him for gift ideas for me, and I guess he sent her that link.

I was hoping maybe the ring was just still in the mail after we exchanged gifts Christmas morning and no ring.

Then my mom came over later for dinner and we exchanged gifts and out comes the ring that I wanted from my boyfriend. Lol

I am so lucky he couldn’t see my face (was sitting in front of his chair) because it crumpled.

Essentially I felt like a kid back in school when you come home empty handed on Valentine’s Day and your moms like “I’ll be your valentine!!”

I asked him tonight if he gave my mom the idea that I was wanting some fashion jewelry or why did she get a ring exactly like the one I showed you ? He insists that he didn’t. But she wouldn’t have known. She asked me what was wrong after dinner. I told her I didn’t just want a ring, I wanted a ring from my bf. Like an engagement and her mouth popped open and she was like oh baby I’m so sorry I didn’t realize.

I kinda feel like an AH for making my mom feel bad. And my bf. He said “I know you want a ring but I’m just not ready”. I feel like he’s TA because he actively didn’t tell my mom not to get me the ring he was never going to propose to me with. Instead he pretty much told her exactly what I liked and sent her the link that had been sent to him from me. I’m embarrassed.

Yikes. Ouch.

So Reddit, in what many various ways am I probably the asshole?

This is a repost. The original post is by u/Empty_Fondant_9586

Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language.

For 5 years now I (M26) am with the love of my life (F25). I cannot express how much I love her and how important she is to me, I knew I wanted to marry her shortly after getting together. We're finally financially stable enough, so I decided now is the time.

In 2020 my gf lost her grandmother. They were super close and it hit my gf hard, especially because she couldn't have a last goodbye in the hospital (covid restrictions didnt allow visitors). In early 2021 my gf helped her sister move houses. She was wearing a ring her grandmother gave her before she passed, and lost it while carrying boxes. This had hit her even more, and even now she will still sometimes cry about this because she feels like she lost the last memory of her grandmother. We had looked for the ring, but hadn't found it. On Christmas my gf had cried again because she missed her grandmother and lamented the loss of the ring. This gave me an idea.

She spent the weekend of New Years eve with a friend, so I contacted her sister and asked if I could search her house once again for the ring. When I mentioned that I want to use the ring to propose, she was super excited. She, her husband and my gfs mother (who loved the idea as well) helped me and eventually we found the ring between some boxes in her garage (even with 4 people looking it took us hours).

I'm planning on proposing on the 14th, which is the anniversary of our first date and we always go out to do something nice then. I had mentioned it to my friends who were excited for me, but when they asked about what ring I got and I told them the story, they called me a cheapskate for not buying my gf a new ring. They also said that it's not an engagement ring. I mean, it really doesn't look like an engagement ring, because it isn't. It's a normal silver ring with an amethyst stone (my gf struggled with anxiety and her grandmother got her one because apparently those stones help against anxiety, and yes my gf believes in healing powers of stones and often wears jewelry made out of them). They also said its an asshole move to use the ring someone else paid for as an engagement ring. One friend also broug