What dose a spy do before bed

They go under-cover

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bassman2345
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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What dose a Greek ghost eat for dessert?

Boogatsa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregblackey
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Dose this make me a mobile gamer ?
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vivekn421
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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What dose one ocean say when it seas another ocean?

Nothing they just wave

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BRANDONPRUSOW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Why dose Will Smith like green apples?

Because it reminds him of his Granny Smith.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/True_Twisted
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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What do you get when you give five doses of valium to a lizard?

A calmer calmer calmer calmer calmer chameleon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Middlerun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2017
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How dose a printer shave

Fax on fax off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ubeengnomed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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What do you call a person who is having withdrawals after stopping using drugs?

Lack-dose intolerant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sande24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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Here's Your Daily Dose Of Encourage Mint!
πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gurmehar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
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What dose a console/pc say when you download a game?

It’s a hot day I’m overheating,

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Likeablegamer811
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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How dose Reece eat her breakfast ?

Witherspoon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingpotato28
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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If someone tells you a joke inside dose that joke become an inside joke?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thundergil4465
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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Why dose nobody tell jokes about condiments

They are ilRELLISHvant

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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What dose polar bears and penguins have in common?

Nothing they are polar opposite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-am-a-gamingnerd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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Thieves stole a truck with 1,000,000 doses of viagra reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schmidt_1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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What time dose Sean Connery Arrive at Wimbledon

Ten-Ish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SneakyBus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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What are you most likely to die of while watching all the Shrek movies?

An Ogre dose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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The best dad jokes are nerd-dad jokes - for that extra dose of lameness.

Once, I asked a monster what his favourite file compression format was. He said "RAR!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lachiemx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
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If number 666 is evil,then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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Been too sick (flu) to give my son his daily doses of dad jokes...

(Son wanting to be amused while I'm writing around with a terrible case of flu.)

Me: "I'm sorry, buddy. I'm dying here." Son: "If you die, who will tell me stupid jokes?" Me: "I'll come back from the grave to torture you with stupid dad jokes." Son: "Like a zombie?" Me: "Like the pun-dead."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roguebuckeye
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
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I got a double dose of dad earlier.

Dad: Is it okay if I borrow your bathroom?

Grandfather: You can. But I'm pretty sure it won't fit in this car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McIgglyTuffMuffin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
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What's the medical term for having too many dogs?

Rover-dose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmau34
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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When someone gets a migraine.

Tell them, "Don't worry it's only in your head."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wavecontrol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2016
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I was sitting on the sofa with my wife last night, when I said, "Honey, you remind me of an onion."

She smiled, blushed a little and asked, "Why? Because I have so many layers to my personality!?"

"No."

"Oh, OK, something stupid like, you'll cry when you slice me up?!"

"Nope."

"OK! OK! You'd prefer it if I was battered?!"

"Nah."

"You either love me or hate me? I'm good in small doses? I can be a bit overpowering?!"

"No, no and no!"

Exasperated, she shrieked, "Oh, all right then, why?!"

"You smell like an onion!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
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Dad: Quick, someone put a dildo on the roof!!

Me: Wtf why?

Dad: I cut myself pretty bad.

Me: What does the dildo have to do with anything?

Dad: I need a dose of penis ceilin'

(Actual)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icyartillary
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
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Germans say that puns are just canned humor.

But I think they're a good DOSE of fun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fiat-flux
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2015
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This is for the Brits on the sub

My gran fell asleep whilst eating piri piri chicken...

...she had a cheeky nan dose!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshiverson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2016
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I dad joked my dad.

The other day i was working with my dad, he dose a lot of carpentry and was showing me how he dose things. He told me to grab the drill and some screws and told me to throw a screw where he pointed his finger so i take a closer look and proceeded to toss a screw. My dad had the biggest grin and a few chuckles. Dad approved :).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubzeroQK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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Wife asked for her medicine.

W - "Can you get my dose?"

Me - holds up two fingers "Dos? Si."

W - "No, dose. Medicine."

Me - "NoDoz? I think you need all the rest you can get."

W - "Just move. I'll get it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steeb2er
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
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What time dose Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

10ish

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SneakyBus
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
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What happens when you have too many dogs?

You have a rover-dose!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicyagedcheddar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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