I don't think it's any faster
I got a girlfriend by pretending that I play football. My friends don't think it's going to last but I don't worry.
She thinks that I'm a keeper.
My wife thinks I don't respect her privacy...
At least that's what her diary says.
People don’t think the grass be wet in the morning
I don't think women should be allowed to have kids after 40
40 kids is way too much by any standard
People say I don't think about my actions before I make them
I don't think she was impressed with me
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
I don't think the surge protector on my toaster is working...
Whilst I was making crumpets it told me to wake up, asked why I don't put on a little makeup, why did I leave the keys upon the table..
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
My daughter thinks I don't give her enough privacy.
Atleast that's what she said in her diary.
I don't think it worked out
I don't think Marine Biology is the right major for me.
My grades are below C-level
Man, I really like soda, but I don't think it likes me too much.
Everytime I drink it, it comes out pissed.
I don’t think Mary and Joesph ever got a divorce
It was a pretty stable relationship
I don't think the author even realized what they did! Context: the article is about killer whales attacking boats.
Don't you think Gonorrhoea would be a great name for Diarrhea medicine?
A little extreme don't you think?
I don't think the coast is clear just yet
Don't you think the shovel was a ground-breaking invention?
(I saw this in a youtube video by Mishkali titled "Attack on Titan Dad Jokes" I'm not sure if she made the joke herself, but credit goes to whoever did.)
My doctor said I should drink alcohol in moderation. I don't think I can control my drinking...
... but it's worth a shot!
My kids are such a handful I don’t think one nanny is enough
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
I don’t think protesting works.
My whole life I’ve seen “END ROAD WORK” signs, but they keep working on roads.
I don't think the Tectonic Plates cause earthquakes
but people do say I'm loyal to a fault.
Don't even think about challenging my French butter sauce...
If I ever lose my leg in an accident, don’t think I’m lining up a proposal
I’m just always down on one knee
I don't think she brings a lot to the table.
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer and I don't think I'm quite fit enough for the job.
Therefore I've handed in my 'Too Weak Notice'
My girlfriend told me, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sweep or mop in my life.”
I said, “Floors are beneath me.”
Some people might think transparent cars seems like a cool idea, but I don’t.
I would steer clear of them.
Simon is in the school play and invites his parents, who don't think he'll be very good.
Halfway through the play, a floorboard breaks underneath Simon and he falls through. 'Don't worry' Simon's dad whispers to his mum 'it's just a stage he's going through!'
I don't think this train has left the station.
I don't think that denial is a powerful thing.
I'll fight anyone who thinks so.
I don't think anyone's posted this one before.
He does have a cents of humour don't you think?
My wife told me to flip off the thermostat before we left the house. I don’t think she appreciated how I followed her instructions.
I've just finished a really good book entitled 'Acted' - I don't really understand the relevance of the title, but the book is about censorship. Anyway, I think everyone should
I don't think I'm well-suited for this job as a newspaper editor.
Even my blood is a Type O!
All my Canadian friends don't think they can count on me...
but I know Yukon count on me because I'm having Nunavut.
I don’t think it’s wise to “eat the rich.”
They’re all spoiled rotten.
People don't think the grass be wet in the morning ...
My wife thinks I don't give her enough privacy.
At least that's what she said in her
diary.
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I said, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
I don't think women should be allowed to have kids after 40.
40 kids is way too much by any standard.
My wife told me, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you mop or sweep in my life!”
Me: Floors are beneath me.
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