Doc, every time I smell Mexican food my heart races.
Doc: Sounds like tacocardia.
A man bursts into his therapist's office and yells, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep dreaming that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"
The therapist looks up from his paperwork, looks at the man, and says, "I'm busy at the moment, so I'll deal with you later."
Doc, it hurts when I poke myself on the shoulder and when I poke myself on the forehead and when I poke myself in the thigh.
Doc: Your finger is broken.
Doc told me he has good news and bad news for me. Bad news is my organs are shutting down from my eating only pepperoni, ham & salami.
Using one word, how do you get Doc Brown into his time machine?
Me: Doc, I think I’m no longer canstopetid.
Doctor: Do you mean constipated?
Me: No. I had a vowel movement.
0mg?! You gotta be sheeting me Doc!
The Doc is giving away treatments to remove boils at no cost
Doc: "Sir, you've caught a very rare disease. "
Me: "How rare?"
Doc: "You pick the name.
Me: Doc, I have hearing problems
Doc: Could you describe the symptoms?
Me: Marge has blue hair and Homer is a fat guy
[At the therapist] Me: Doc, I have a crippling fear of big, empty spaces.
Therapist: A void?
Me: That’s good advice. Thanks.
Who’s Doc Brown’s favorite Star Wars character?
“Doc, I think I might have ADHD, because I can’t remember where I parked my Ford!”
Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.
Man: But I keep losing my Focus!
What do you call a pair of docs?
My doc said I shouldn't be making puns on diabetes its a serious disease..
I said I can't help it doc, its a pun-creatic disease.
My doc seems to think I either have a wizard or orthopedic footwear...
He said I have mage or healthy shoes.
What is Doc Brown's favorite drink?
Doc's office takin' the piss out of ya!
A man walks into a doctors office. “What seems to be the problem?” Asks the doc. “It’s... um... well... i have five penises.” Replies the man. “Blimey!” Says the doctor, “how do your trousers fit?” “Like a glove.”
A man tells his doctor : "Doc, help me, I'm addicted to Twitter"
The doctor replies : "Sorry I don't follow you..."
“Doc, all five of my sons want to be valets when they grow up!”
Doctor: Holy shit, this is the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen!
Doctor: Sir, I am sorry to say that you have onomatopoeia... Patient: What is it, doc?
Doctor: It’s exactly what it sounds like.
A guy wakes up from surgery. "How'd it go, Doc?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that we amputated the wrong leg...
The good news is that your other leg is all better."
Wow i have to take onenote from that guy, made me laugh so bad i had to go to the DOC
I went to the docs because of sore feet..
He said "Gout."
I replied "But I've just got here."
Nurse: Okay doc, here's the list of heart and kidney donors in alphabetical order
Doc: Wow, it's very organized ;)
Doc Visit
When Dermatologist finishes looking me over, he asks if anything strange was on my penis. ( I was wearing undies). I said " once in awhile the wife"
A bloke was getting upset when he found out he needed glasses. “Oh glasses doc, do I have to wear them?”
“Only if you want to see”
My friend just emailed a file called RomeoandJuliet.doc.
“I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says to this guy. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.” “Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?” “Ten…” the doctor says slowly.
“Nine... eight… seven...”
The doc gave me 6 months to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 20 years
I found an old file on my computer Romeo&Juliet.doc
Turns out that it was a play on word.
A man goes to the Doctor with a banana in one ear, a carrot in the other ear and a cucumber up his nose. “What’s wrong with me doc?” He asks ...
“It’s easy, you just not eating properly” the doctors replies.
-Doc, I have hearing problems
-Could you describe the symptoms?
-Marge has blue hair and Homer is a fat guy
A man bursts into his therapist's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"
The therapist looked up from his paperwork and said, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
“Doc, I think I have ADHD. I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.”
Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.
“But I keep losing my Focus!”
A patient bursts into his therapist's office and shouts, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming that I'm trapped in a deck of cards!"
The therapist turns from his current patient and says, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
A therapist was with a client when another client burst in and said, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep having a nightmare that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards."
The therapist looked at him calmly and said, "I'm with another client. I'll deal with you later."
“Doc, I feel constopetid!!”
Doctor: I think you mean constipated.
Man: No, I had a vowel movement.
“I feel like such a failure, doc. All my 5 boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
Doctor: WOW! That’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.
"Doc, all my 5 kids want to be valets when they grow up!"
Doctor: "Wow! That's the worst case
of parking son's disease I've ever
seen.''
Doc, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!
Doc: Wow! That’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I have ever seen.
A man walks into a doctors office. "What seems to be the problem'P" Asks the doc. um... well... I have five penises," replies the man. "Blimey!" Says the doctor "how do your trousers fit?"
Patient: I think I have ADHD I can’t remember where I parked my Ford. Doc: That doesn’t really mean anything... Patient: But I keep losing my focus
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