What happened when Darth Vader destroyed Alderaan?
It was blown to sithereens!
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︎ Dec 30 2020
An earthquake destroyed my neighbors house
Good thing It wasn't my "fault"
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︎ Oct 16 2020
A Chinese restaurant was recently destroyed in the riots.
It was wonton destruction.
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︎ Oct 11 2020
Destroyed
Bayern was too hungry, they 8-2 much.
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︎ Aug 15 2020
A guy just went crazy at my local dumpling house and destroyed the place.
He's been charged with wonton destruction.
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︎ Aug 18 2020
Did you hear about the cow farm destroyed in the tornado?
The scene was udder annihilation.
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︎ Jun 27 2020
I'd just finished building a beautiful house of cards when my wife walked in and destroyed it
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︎ Jul 23 2020
I always wondered about the fight between Dio and Jotaro. Even though Dio had trained for months before facing him, Jotaro still destroyed him in the end
Ig he really didn't stand a chance
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︎ Jul 10 2020
My chickens got really upset when their home was destroyed.
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︎ Oct 07 2019
A tornado destroyed my cheese shop.
Thereβs nothing left but de brie.
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︎ Sep 11 2019
A church recently sustained a lot of damage, and had to hire a contractor in order to replace all of it's bells which were destroyed. After completing the work, all of the contractors were promptly arrested.
They were charged with re-belling.
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︎ Aug 21 2019
How fast did thors hammer get destroyed?
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︎ Apr 22 2019
Just got destroyed by my 4yr old daughter.
This just happened... to me?.......
To set the scene,
My daughter was being nice and carrying her Nanas bowl and fork to the sink.
Dad: How many turds does it take to put a bowl and fork in the sink?
Daughter: One.
Daughter puts bowl in sink..
Dad: Haha! you were right it only took one!
Daughter: Yeah, cause you helped.
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︎ Jun 30 2019
The Farmer's son destroyed his father's scarecrow.
And that was the final straw.
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︎ Jun 23 2019
The airline destroyed my luggage
I wanted to sue them so I showed the damaged luggage to my lawyer.
He told me I didn't have much of a case.
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︎ Feb 12 2019
When I lost Ruth in the grocery store, I destroyed nearly every aisle looking for her.
I was Ruthless in my pursuit.
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︎ May 22 2019
If Baghdad got destroyed, that would be Baghsad.
I'm sorry, that was a Baghbad Baghdad joke.
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︎ Jun 14 2019
A tornado destroyed a lettuce farm
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︎ Jul 11 2018
I used to live in a tree house until a tornado destroyed the tree.
My life had been uprooted.
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︎ Mar 09 2019
My wife turned to me and said, all life is like hope. It's precious, a gift. It flourishes in the desert, in the snow, even in the Marianas Trench, 10,000 meters below the waves. Life and hope exist where we least expect it, yet it is so fragile it can be destroyed in a moment.
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︎ May 16 2019
So if ISIS gets destroyed, are we going to call it WASWAS?
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︎ Nov 19 2015
After sharing a pun I saw here with my brother, he destroyed it faroese-ily. Thought y'all might enjoy the finnished result.
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︎ Nov 12 2017
Two rivaling rappers, named Jim and Tom planned to meet up for a rap battle. Jim totally destroyed his rival.
Tom's fans didn't expect this kind of diss appointment.
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︎ Oct 19 2018
A French nobleman's estate was destroyed during the French Revolution.
The results were chΓ’teau-strophic.
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︎ Oct 07 2018
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
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︎ Dec 31 2018
Some guy destroyed my saltwater aquarium, so now we hang out all the time.
The enemy of my anemone is my friend.
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︎ Feb 16 2019
TIL that the Bloods once owned then destroyed 9% of the Bitcoin market in 2014
Higher ranking members of the Bloods held 9% of the coins that had been mined up to 2014. They suddenly and abruptly destroyed the wallets that contained the bitcoins in late 2014.
It wasnβt discovered until 2017 when a former member spoke to the press when the prices spiked. When asked the reason for destroying the fortune he said βcause itβs a Crip-tocurrencyβ
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︎ Jun 03 2018
I bought a vintage WWII watch that had the face destroyed in combat
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︎ Oct 16 2018
What did Dad Beaver say to his son when the river destroyed the dam he just finished building?
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︎ Oct 26 2018
I was bored yesterday, so I destroyed some clocks.
I just needed to kill some time.
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︎ Jul 09 2015
Did you hear about the vandals who destroyed the news studio?
I don't know how you could've missed it; it was breaking news.
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︎ Feb 01 2018
my copy of Richard Brautigan got destroyed
Now it's Richard Boughtagain
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︎ May 07 2018
Destroyed my wife yesterday with this dad joke
Wife: "Look at my hands. They're getting wrinkles. I'm old. I bet my ovaries are just shriveling up as we speak."
Me: "I don't know, I think you're...ovary-acting."
Wife: [long pause and sigh] "I deserved that..."
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︎ Feb 05 2016
The opera singer destroyed the champagne flutes that might have incriminated her, by singing til it shattered...
She was convicted of Timbre-ing with evidence
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︎ Nov 05 2016
Great Grandfather just destroyed the table.
Grandfather (shouting loudly): Dad we are all about to sit outside in the garden. Where is best for you to sit?
Great Grandfather: On my bottom.
Collective groan from the family...i'm the only one laughing.
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︎ Apr 08 2017
What did Genghis Kahn's mother tell him after he destroyed Xi Xia?
Just because you Genghis Khan, doesn't mean you Genghis Should.
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︎ Oct 13 2017
Dad destroyed my sister tonight
Dad: did you also have the curry tonight?
Me: yeah it was great wasn't it?
Dad: yes it was very good
Sister: have you eaten mum?
Dad: no I haven't eaten mum I ate curry
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︎ Apr 23 2015
I came home to see my 2 year old Tabby had destroyed my favorite couch.
All I could think was, "You've cat to be kitten me right meow."
I'm torn on how I feel about her... I wish I could retract what she did but there's no point getting clawed up in the negative emotions.
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︎ Jan 29 2013
A tornado destroyed a French cheese factory.
All that was left was de Brie.
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︎ Jul 01 2019
The earthquake completely destroyed the French cheese factory.
All that was left was de brie.
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︎ Feb 01 2018
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