The judge says, "You might as well take the stand. According to your record of thefts and the current larceny charges against you, it appears that you've already taken about everything else."
The plaintiff got X-posed
The plaintiff got exposed
It was a brief case.
A-bomb-in-a-bull!
GAVEL GAVEL GAVEL
Mein-fields
They make some good points.
By parrying.
Oh sorry, wrong sub
Answer: A father-in-law.
... Lack toes intolerant.
Sorry.
Robot, the defendant: "Guilty as charged"
He was promoted to Major Savings.
Because all of their work is pro Bono
He was charged with assault and battery.
And there he comes to the old woman:
β Your ticket.
"Sweethart, Iβm sorry, I must have lost it!β the old woman replies, rummaging through her bag. The man grabs the old woman and throws her out the window. She falls and is crushed to death. At the trial, the man is sentenced to death in the electric chair.
β Your last wish.
β You know, I really want to eat a banana.
A man eats a banana brought to him. The leader of the execution turns on the current - the man does not die. The switch is pulled a second time, the third - no effect. According to the law, the defendant must be released. After some time, the man again gets a job as a train conductor. Checks tickets, and then a young girl approaches:
β Your ticket.
β You know, I'm leaving on the next stop ...
A man grabs a girl and throws her out of the train, the girl falls and dies.
Again the court, the death sentence. Before the execution, the electric chair is checked several times - it works fine. They put the man down.
β Your last wish.
β You know, I really want to eat a banana.
A man eats a banana brought to him.
The leader of the execution turns on the electricity - the man does not die. Turns it on again and it doesn't work. Once again, it's all to no use. The man is getting released once again. One of the guards comes up to the him and quietly asks:
βLook, I wonβt tell anyone, but Iβm still very interested. Tell me why, after eating a banana, you are not afraid of the electric chair?"
β I have loved bananas since childhood. Why I am not dying? I don't know.
Maybe I'm just a bad conductor?
It was an open and shut case
With Naan-chuks
For fingering "A" Minor
doughjos
Theyβre calling themselves the Guard-Ians of the Galaxy.
I donβt vax my floors. I donβt vax my chest hair, and I certainly donβt vax my legs.
Go for the juggler.
With a cowitzer.
Iβm raisin awareness
He didnβt habanero
Just so I can say, "Your honour!! My client clearly isn't a flight risk."
Fort-hen
Others do them just for kicks.
After taking a bullet to the knee, his friend wasn't as lucky.
He grew up and decided to join the army. When filling out forms at the recruitment center the recruiter was surprised to learn of his heritage. Eventually word spread and he was given the nickname Ungnome. A war started not long after where he lost his life defending his squad mates from incoming fire. For his bravery the army held a special funeral for him and built him a lavish tomb. Now people come from miles around to see the Tomb of the Ungnome Soldier.
