"Dada write my name on it!"
Sure kid, I can do that...
http://i.imgur.com/TNUJEnm.png
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︎ Dec 17 2015
Dada Joked My FiancΓ© Last Night
FiancΓ© and I are walking down the stairs when I say something silly and she hits me.
Me: ASSAULT!
She stops in the middle of the staircase and throws back her head in a disgusted sigh...
Her: Go ahead... Say it...
Me: A PEPPER!!!
Edit: was supposed to be "Dad Joked".. Somehow it autocorrected to "Dada"...
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︎ Dec 21 2013
You want to know where dads store all the dad jokes?
They store it in dad-a-base.
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︎ Mar 25 2021
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
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︎ May 23 2021
Why do the Swedish put barcodes on the side of their ships?
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︎ May 17 2021
My Son came up to me this morning and said "Don't be sad".
Cuz "sad" backwards is "das". And das no good.
So proud
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︎ May 04 2021
Daniel is a gardener and lion...
so we nicknamed him Dan da lion.
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︎ May 18 2021
*to the tune of Batman theme song*
da na na na na na na na na na BACK PAIN.
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︎ May 13 2021
One day Sven was walking past Ole's place and noticed a sign that said Boat For Sale.
Sven went up to the barn and said "Ole, I see da sign in your yard. All you have is a tractor and a combine". Ole said "Yep, and der boat for sale!"
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︎ Apr 16 2021
I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He asked, βCan you describe the symptoms?β I replied, "Sure..."
βTheyβre yellow, Homerβs fat, and Marge has blue hair.β
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︎ Jul 01 2020
What did the Egyptian crocodile do with the problems in his life?
Nothing, he lived in da-nile
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︎ Mar 17 2021
My daughter was watching The Little Mermaid so I asked her if she knew why Sebastian was kicked out of college?
It's because all his grades where under da c
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︎ Jan 17 2021
How does Darth Vader like his steaks?
Well, done done done, done da done, done da done
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︎ May 11 2020
Did you hear about the new socialist bank?
Itβs called Das Kapital One
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced heβs ruler of Egypt? When told βthatβs impossibleβ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.
People say heβs in da Nile
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︎ Dec 25 2020
My wife asked me to help her wrap presents...
So I started doing my best human beatbox impersonation.
"Yo! Yo! Presents in da hizzzzzzz!"
She wasn't as amused as I was.
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Did you hear about the guy who ate the truck?
Now he's the man-da-lorry-in
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︎ Dec 22 2020
A joke isnβt really a dad joke
until itβs fully groan.
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︎ Nov 13 2019
The three unwritten rules of life.
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︎ Jul 13 2020
What part of the body always loses?
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︎ Nov 29 2020
Communists around the world watched gleefully as the Washington riots unfolded.
Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Whatβs the opposite of defeat?
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︎ Nov 19 2020
You need a pilots license before you become a spy.
After all, you'll be in da skies.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
How do you top a car?
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 01 2020
What do you call a melodramatic space alien?
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︎ Sep 13 2020
How do you know Rin Tin Tin's parents were Chinese?
Because they were Ma 'n' Da Rin.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
You wanna know what I don't like about babies?
They're all born with da fetus attitudes.
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Why are birds so hard to identify?
Because they are always in da skyβs.
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Why do Egyptian riverboat captains tend to be flat-earthers?
Because they live in da Nile.
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︎ Sep 14 2020
What do you call a gay Mexican peeping tom?
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Weapon of brass destruction
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︎ May 09 2020
What kind of diapers does Sidney Crosby wear?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 08 2020
On the news there was a report of a cheese factory exploding in France.
π︎ 126
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︎ Mar 17 2021
A cheese factory exploded in France.
π︎ 13k
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︎ Oct 24 2020
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
π︎ 17
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︎ Mar 17 2021
A cheese factory exploded in France
π︎ 136
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Cheese shop exploded...
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︎ Sep 06 2020
The cheese shop next door exploded this morning.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
A cheese factory exploded in France.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
There was a huge explosion at the local cheese factory
Da brie was all over the place
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?
Everyone was hit with da Brie.
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︎ Jul 06 2020
Cheese shop exploded...
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︎ Sep 14 2020
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