Two British cuttlefish are in the pub. One hands the other a sorry-looking cephalopod and says…

Here’s the sick squid I borrowed off you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carya_spp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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A Great Pun From My Six Year Old Daughter

We were leaving a pet shop that had the standard assortment of fish, lizards, birds, and hamsters and my daughter said she wanted a fish. We have two cats and I told her that might be a bad idea. I then added that the big problem with fish is that you can't cuddle a fish like you can with cats. She responded by saying "you can with a cuttlefish."

She probably watches too many nature shows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mike-zane
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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Hold me tight
πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikiekwoods
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
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Got my wife good :-D

A little context. We have 2 dogs... it's warm... they shed... ALOT. My wife picked up her flip flops and they were covered in dog fur. She shook them off and a cloud of fur wafted through the kitchen.

Wife: Ya know what doesn't shed?

Me: What?

Wife: Fish. Fish don't shed. But they don't cuddle either.

Me: You could get a cuttlefish!

Her eyes rolled so far into the back of her head she was looking down

Wife: Okay that one should go on reddit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emosongs2cut2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
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