Orange cuttlefish Puns

Does anyone have the recipe to the orange cuttlefish with the lo Shui sauce?

Super high end client sprung this request on me the day before yesterday and, having never experienced a Feast of Seven Fishes let alone cooked for one, I have little idea of what to make. Cioppino or a Frutti di Mare pasta or anything else that involves chucking the whole lot into a pot together is out of the question. They're flying the seafood from Browne's, so that can't be changed. Here's what I've got so far:

• Cod baked with olives, shaved fennel, parmesan gremolata
• Scallops seared with roasted beets, sunchoke puree, crispy sunchoke parsnip purée for fewer farts and dill
• Shrimp with tricolor cauliflower, raisins, and capers
• Eel (the baked, glazed sushi kind) they want this over sushi rice. they get this over sushi rice. sigh
• King Crab Legs scored, steamed, served with a hammer and whipped truffle butter topped with caviar because they love that shit.
• Cuttlefish stuffed with guanciale and breadcrumbs, simmered in tomato sauce and served over fresh pasta
• Bluefin Tuna (loin, sashimi grade) crudo with pickled shallot, orange, parsley, toasted hazelnuts (?), and olive oil

Budget is no object, but accessibility is. Advice, suggestions, and gentle ribbing greatly encouraged and extraordinarily appreciated.

I’ve been giving my powder orange isopods eggshells and daphnia for calcium, but my mom suggested that I try cuttlebone since it’s softer. I don’t feel good about that, though, since cuttlefish are such intelligent animals (related to an octopus). Is one source of calcium better for isopods than another? I definitely want my little guys to have a healthy diet.

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

The Void Jockey Chapter

First Previous

No one died from the encounter. Not even the giant. After getting a flexible baton round to the face, it was only mildly bruised. Granted it was a poor shot that only clipped its jaw, but it was hurt nonetheless. It seems it wasn’t immune to solid weapons. They had managed to eke out a win with a lucky shot.

Yamagoth had a nasty case of internal bleeding and damaged organs. He was the least injured of the group. Yosgoth got thrown head first into a computer, he had a concussion and a fractured skull, he was to remain in the medical wing for at least [two weeks]. Trosgoth had suffered a devastating blow to the air sac, he would recover, but for such an injury he needed to remain unconscious for his body to heal. Tramogon had a severely damaged skull and a severe concussion. Kreegaz had several crushed ribs, these would take the longest to heal.

Chlozon was watching them all, he hadn’t been in the room when the fighting went down but had taken off as soon as Yamagoth told him to over the radio. He wasn't injured, but he chose to stay in the medical wing.

PD salvaged data from the terminal. He said it was very promising.

They had gotten the giants pale body on board the Peaceful Delivery, through no small effort from the medical personnel and a wooden board they had found on the ship. It had taken four of them simply to lift it. They also draped a long cloth over its body that they found on a shelf. It was white and very fuzzy, presumably to dry yourself off after you had gotten into its tank. Grazile made a note of that before she left.

Grazile had taken scans of its entire body before they managed that difficult task. She had also taken a few samples, nothing much, just a skin sample and a sample of the liquid that was on its towel. She was now examining its mechanics as it moved. With some fiddling with the scanner in the quarantine room. She was asking herself one question. Why was it immune to their weapon fire?

She looked at the scans of the Giant before her. The answer wasn’t immediately obvious. It wasn’t immune. Scans of its body revealed the red marks only a [quarter inch] in diameter all across the body, exactly where the rounds hit. There was some damage, but it seemed negligible.

When she looked at its dermal layer closer, she found the answer. It had

Pilot on me!!

Titanus Uktena

TITANUS UKTENA ADDED TO MONARCH REGISTRY

Monarch Designation: Titanus Uktena

Other Designations: Geoicthys ourapeous, Fish Snake, The Slithering Horror, Eldritch Tiktaalik, Ikuchi’s Evil Twin

Nature: Bio-Toxic

Place of Emergence: Unknown

Titanus Uktena is one of many undiscovered Titans that have been discovered recently. This particular Titan as well as another Titan, Tsul ‘Kalu (a file of which was released previously) seem to share a rivalry, and it is in this rivalry that an amazing discovery was made, the details of which will be disclosed soon. As for the Titan itself, Uktena is a Titan that, while serpentine in legend, is a very different creature in life, one showing an interesting evolutionary path aquatic vertebrates can potentially partake in.

Legends of horned serpents are common throughout the world, and the various Native American tribes and societies throughout North America were no exception. The uktena was a horned serpent the Cherokee believed in, described as a large snake with various features such as large horns on its head, an enchanted and valuable diamond on its forehead (known as the Ulun'suti, said to be sought-after enough that it would make the life of anyone who managed to remove it better), seemingly glowing scales and various bright color patterns and rings (it seems some versions depict it with wings). It’s weakness was said to be, according to Cherokee expert and anthropologist James Mooney, ‘the seventh the seventh spot from the head, because under this spot are its heart and its life’, and when an arrow is shot here, the creature is done for. The uktena were said to be so dangerous that even seeing one asleep would put either the seer or their loved ones in serious danger, with even the creature’s breath being so hazardous that it can act almost as poison).

Though the creature is serpentine in legend, the actual Titan is not related to reptiles at all. Uktena possesses an elongated body capable of limited constriction similar to a snake, but other attributes stem from the sea: the Titan is a terrestrial relative of deep-sea fish, with Monarch marine biologists certain that it is descended from the family Stomiidae, the family which includes viperfish and dragonfish. Possessing a pair of forelimbs similar to Nidhogg’s, Uktena is able to utilize these on land for limited movement, though it seems to much prefer slithering than crawling. However these limbs can be bent in such a way that allow

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

They’re on standbi

Because his Visa didn’t work.

free

Does anyone have the recipe to the orange cuttlefish with the lo Shui sauce?

Does anyone have the recipe to the orange cuttlefish with the lo Shui sauce?

"That's what they're fighting about."