Because he wasn't the true hare to the throne
Never gonna give up never gonna let you down
Me: "Finally, someone who understands me."
Terrible king, but made a great ruler.
Here's the background:
Before my wife and I were dating, but after we had officially met, I saw her at my regular pool hall one night. She was wearing some "worn in" jeans with all kinds of holes in the legs. At some point during the night, I approached her.
> Me: "Did you know that your jeans have holes in them?"
> Her: (confused) "Yeah..."
> Me: "Did you know that it's very distracting?"
I then walked away and proceeded to not talk to her at all the rest of the night and just let the idea simmer.
Fast forward 2.5 years >>>
We were married and expecting our first child. When we discovered she was pregnant, I thought it'd be a good idea to get our genomes checked out by 23andme to see if we were carriers of anything.
I was reading the results out to her and started with myself. I was fascinated by how perfectly I was described by the report. Almost every physical aspect was right on the money.
I then started reading her results. And it was a perfect match... for her sister. The results didn't describe my wife at all, but they did almost 100% match her (not a twin) sister. I chuckled to myself and looked at her.
> Me: Do you know what this means?
> Her: What?
> Me: Your genes have holes in them.
I consider this my crowning achievement in both dad jokes and overall pundom. I don't think I'll ever top that one.
Me: Hey Megan I heard you had a tooth chipped. From now on I will call you Chippy.
Megan: Ha! But I am getting a crown so you can call me Queenie.
To get a crown
You never learned about chicken-catch-a-Tory?
The moment of tooth
That description nails him to a t
But I’ve seen Stranger Things
Crowned Beef.
“No idea. That’s a real head-scratcher.”
She said she didn't remember.
I asked her if it was around tooth hurty!
She got mad and hit me in the arm and stopped talking to me for a while.
Totally worth it.
Years ago, my Aunt Ann ate a couple of hot dogs at the county fair, and afterward experienced some... digestive difficulties. I declared it The Diarrhea of Ann's Franks.
For a crown.
My crowning achievement is when I swallowed a trophy and couldn't poop it out.
- my dad, just before going to the dentist on his birthday.
driving down I-75 when we passed fire trucks outside of an urban active gym
Mom: Look at all of those fire trucks!
Dad: wow, they must really be burning those calories!
I get my crown next week
This award is my crowning achievement but this is the only plaque that’s allowed in my house.
She probably gets royalties
The hare-apparent
Look, now it's the Royal Wii.
About twelve years ago, when I was little and my dad had a mustache:
Me: Daddy? What is it like to have a mustache? Dad: Go ask your mother.
There was a commercial for Crown Royal's new Apple whiskey and I said to my dad, "that looks like it'd be pretty good." He responds with, "Yeah, it'd be worth a shot." I groaned so loud
because he specialized in crowns
Finally he got his crown
I studied the Gallup Polls
... corona takes the crown
So I love orange juice, but I hate how it tastes after having brushed my teeth. So I asked my dad, "Do you know how I can drink orange juice after brushing my teeth?" And since he knows a few good home remedies like that, he says sure, and to follow him to the bathroom.
He has me brush, and as I'm doing that, he explains how the toothpaste does what it does, the chemicals involved, so forth. He then takes me to the kitchen and pours me a glass of orange juice, beginning to explain why the two react and such, and says, "here, see for yourself. " So I take a drink, and of course, its disgusting, and I spit it out.
"And THAT is how you drink orange juice after brushing your teeth."
2 crown jewels
She broke her crown.
It must have been the delivery…
She calls it her crown Juul.
Because that’s the baby’s crowning achievement.
To be crowned
It was accidental.
I found my feather headdress but it's getting worn out: I have a patchy Apache crown
A crown witness
Someone took the first leader's crown. I've heard complaints that he was winging every decision, running around like a headless chicken. He was probably too cocky to plan for coop attempts.
More on this as I find out information.
Finally! Someone who understands me!
