A list of puns related to "Cook's Country"
Should have cooked it at aloha temperature
Aus-strainer
Swiss charred Swiss chard
A trio of explorers were hiking through the Congo and found a small village that was very isolated and not on any map. The villagers turned out to speak English very well, and informed the adventurers very politely that theirs was a village of cannibals and they were to be cooked and eaten, and their hides tanned and turned into canoes for the villagers, but they would allow them to take their own life however they saw fit.
The first man asks for a sharp knife, slices his wrists open, and mutters "Lay me down and bleed a while, and ne'er up again."
The second man asks for his revolver, says "For God and Country!" and shoots himself in the head.
The last man asks for a fork, and stabs himself repeatedly screaming "Fuck your canoe!"
My cousin and his wife have a 3 year old daughter, and they're traveling to visit us cross-country for Thanksgiving. In the hotel last night, cousin (Steven) was discussing breakfast with his daughter (Emily).
Steven: "Tomorrow morning, before we leave, the hotel is going to cook us breakfast!"
Emily: "Daddy, how is the hotel going to cook us breakfast? It doesn't even have hands!"
Steven said he's never been prouder.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.