Ya know, I really like the singer Sia, but I'm a bigger fan of the band that always closes her concerts

Wouldn't Wanna Beya's

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dd1zzle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad got me after my band/orchestra concert last night

important, my family speaks Spanish

After my school's Christmas concert, I went out to eat with my family. They were asking me about some people who were announced for having made it into the All-State Band and Orchestra, one of which was a string bass player (contrabajo in Spanish).

I told them: "Si... Ella toca contrabajo. (Yes... She plays string bass.)"

And my dad replies: "ΒΏPues si toca con trabajo, porque la aceptaron? (Well if she plays with difficulty, why did they accept her?)"

TL;DR: Contrabajo = string bass, con trabajo = with difficulty

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ROTCnaziBandgeek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Before every single band concert

Dad: What are the musicians doing? Me: Warming up so they can play their music. Dad: No, it is the ancient Chinese art form of Tu Ning. Get it, Tu Ning, tuning. Me: Facepalm

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ickthus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad joke at a band concert

Director tuning the band "let us get a quick A"

Dad leans over to me "must be Canadian"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riptide747
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
🚨︎ report
A fan of U2 is claiming that his hearing was damaged at one of the band's recent concerts.

The fan is planning to sue, and U2 is looking for a pro Bono attorney.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HAL9000000
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
🚨︎ report
A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and Ringo Starr all cancel NC shows over the anti-LGBT law.
πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Son's concert...

Last night I had to go to my son's 6th grade band concert. He plays the trumpet. Most of the band, like my son, only started playing their instruments this year so the quality was far less than professional.

We walked out of the school together and he had a hop to his step feeling really proud. It was a shame to tell him that I could barely see him let alone hear him by the squeaks and honks him and his classmates created.

I rubbed his hear and asked, "You play the trumpet, right son?"

He gave me a strange look. "You know I do, dad."

"So, you got to toot your own horn tonight, huh?'

His eye roll was worth it.

The nice part was being able to retell it to my older step daughter who giggled at my joke. A two for one!

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobsbattle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2014
🚨︎ report
First day of summer... The stars aligned for this one!

Girlfriend: We should go to a 5 Seconds To Summer concert! [one of her favorite bands]

Me: We're too late. That would've been at 11:55:55 PM last night.

Girlfriend: ... oooOOOHHH because today is the first day of summer on the calendar!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IBlameTheMormons
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2016
🚨︎ report
A compilation of my dads terrible jokes

After seeing Taken:

"Taken? More like this movie has taken all my money!"

After seeing Final destination 5:

"Final Destination? More like, My Final destination is out of the movie theater!"

"Wanna know what my favorite part of the movie was? The credits!"

"The back of my eyelids were more entertaining than that movie."

After telling him about a Slayer concert:

"Slayer? More like, this band is gonna slay all my money!"

After telling him my favorite musical genre is heavy metal:

"Well, i hate heavy metal. I can never lift it!"

These are just a few

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tardersauce12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
🚨︎ report
Post concussion

So I'm concussed during my high-school rugby game, after which we head to the hospital. Important to mention that I was a member of my school's jazz band, and had a concert coming up. I get checked out by the doc, minor concussion. He's going over the stuff with my dad on what to watch out for (be careful with naps, no contact sports for a while etc.) and my dad asks if I'd be able to play the trumpet in next week's concert. The doc says he thinks it might not be the best idea. So my dad asks, will he at least be able to play the piano? Doc replies that yes, I'd be able to play the piano.
"That's great, he wasn't able play it before the concussion!"
Took a second for the doctor to realize what happened, after which he seemed to sigh with exhaustion and laughed.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sundance91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
🚨︎ report
This one received both a roomful of groans and applause!

Yesterday I was doing Concert practice - fairly standard for a music student, play some songs (with a band), receive some constructive criticism, if there's time, play it again, see if it improved.

So after aforementioned criticism the band and I are about to play again when one of the singers points the mic at the speaker (accidentally) and painfully loud feedback assaults our ears.

In the following silence, I commented: "That's the least useful feedback we've had all day!"

...silence.

Then approximately forty people groaning in unison, which gave way to applause for my awful dadjoke.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clarrington
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.