I set the comp password to β€˜Homework1st’ my daughter was getting frustrated...

I set the comp password to β€˜Homework1st’ my daughter was getting frustrated that every time she asked what I changed it to, I answered. She did every piece of work, including corrections. Then I wrote it down.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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TIL that sea-faring pirates were quite progressive in their labor practices, reserving a portion of their loot into an early sort of worker's comp, paying for peg-legs and hooks.

They weren't big fans of arrrbitration.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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Gabe had a heavy load this semester

Math, physics, comp sci. The only easy class was "The American Century." Open book midterm and final, so he wasn't going to do any of the reading all semester.

β€œIt’s a huge waste of time, Dad,” he laughed when I objected. β€œI’m not learning a damn thing in the class.”

β€œWell, then you’re just going to have to take that class over again,” I snapped at him.

β€œWhat are you talking about?” he yelped.

β€œYou know why, Gabe,” I said. β€œThose who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat it.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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3 engineers were arguing about who designed the human body

1: it has to be a CompSci engineer, judging by the brain’s complexity

2: you’re wrong, it was a Mechanics engineer, look at the muscle and skeleton systems working as one

3: you’re both wrong, it was an Urban Planner, otherwise waste and entertainment areas wouldn’t be adjacent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstharothaZe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Me: My dog ate my homework

Sci Comp Professor: your dog ate your coding assignment?

Me:

Prof:

Me: It took him a couple of bytes.

(Saw this on r/puns)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Dad joked by a guy I had just met in a bar.

I mentioned that I can't twerk, and I try when I am in the shower so no one can see me.

Him: That sounds dangerous!

Me: Yeah, its pretty slippery.

Him: But, if you get hurt you can file for twerkman's comp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Natty_Ice
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
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A dad joke story

Jim was working hard sawing wood. It was hot, his hands slippery with sweat and the saw slipped from his fingers and cut off all of his toes. No ambulences were available so he called a toe truck, but he got there too late. His toes could no longer be reattached. He could not walk right, so he could not work. He got workers comp but it wasn't enough. Worst of all, his wife was lack toes intolerant. She filed for separation. He looked online for solutions to his problems and found a post telling him where he may find an answer. It said "Go to the forest late at night and wait in the glade. There you will find the Great Toed. He is wise in these matters." Having nothing to lose he followed the instructions and reached the glade spoken of. There was a line drawn that said "wait here." And wait he did for over an hour, and just as he was about to leave, a many toed toad toed the other side of the line with a bag in tow. "Ask your question," it said in a raspy voice. So Jim related his tale of toe woes. After listening the many toed toad replied "Have you tried the supermarket?" Jim wondered how a supermarket would help but decided to give it a try. He went the next morning and walked down aisle after aisle and then he found it: The supermarket was giving away free toes. Elated, he grabbed as many bags of them as he could and checked each one. He found enough that fit, but needed to attach them. He went back to the glade for help getting the new toes attached, and the toad was happy to help. He helped attach the new toes and jim ran off (little did Jim know that the toad croaked soon after) He was able to walk normal again, his wife came back, he got his job back and everyone lived happily ever after.

Oh the punch line? It's over there by the table.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2017
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My teacher pulled this one on us today...

We're in AP Comp Sci learning about converting to hex values.

He writes up on the board: B9 (a hex value)

Teacher: (After explaining how to convert) So that's about it, class. To be honest, it's really pretty benign (points to B9)

Laughter and groans ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rb612
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
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Did you hear about the stripper who got hurt on the job?

She received Twerkman's Comp.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2016
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I consider myself a decent purveyor of dad jokes, but my dad showed me there is still much to learn from him

I was drinking in an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago when the building suffered a malfunction. The register cover of the air conditioning vent was not secured to the wall and worked its way loose, hitting me and a friend. I ended up with a cut on my forehead, a spiffy blue bandaid from the kitchen first aid kit, and a comped bar tab.

My dad told me I should have duct.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tasty_rogue
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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