I dropped my PB&J sandwich on the street the other day.

T'was a traffic jam.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/punchedbyafalcon
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2021
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What did the PB&J addict call his sandwiches?

My jammy vice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SeductiveMango
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
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My daughter asked for a PB&J

I delivered it on a dad joke platter

http://imgur.com/a/98MD4lO

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pladhoc
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2020
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What’s the worst kind of jelly to put in your PB&J?

Traffic Jam

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DonBonleone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2020
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It took me 2 hours to make a PB&J sandwich.

They keep saying, SLOW THE SPREAD!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a_WES_ome
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
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My wife made a PB&J protein shake and asked what I thought. I suggested she add regular kitchen spices.

Then she could have peanut butter jelly thyme!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aardvark1292
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2019
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Why do you never ask a chemist to make a PB & J?

Lead poisoning.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/toastycheeks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2018
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My wife made me a Pb & J sandwich...

I think she's trying to poison me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sentibite
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2017
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The perfect PB&J...

My wife asked me to make our child a PB&J sammich for his lunch.
I told her that my native american relative tought me how to make the perfect PB&J.
She asked which one? And I said:
Uncle Rusty Bull.
From the Smuckers tribe.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2017
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What happens when you try to print a PB&J?

Jam in tray 1.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rabidmilkman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2017
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Classic dad joke in an old episode of the PBS children's cartoon "George Shrinks"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/proletarium
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2014
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Help me out: need some rockstar/music themed food puns for my 3 year old’s birthday party!

Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:

Chicken nuggets PB&Js (in the shape of guitars) Veggie tray Fruit tray Water & juice

I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know πŸ˜‚ Help me out if you can think of any more!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/allisonwonderland122
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2021
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What do you call a tricky woman whose initials are P.B.?

Miss Lead!

..Y'know, because Lead is Pb on the periodic table..? All of my friends (okay fine, all one of my friends) just stared at me when I told him.. Thought you folks might appreciate it a little more...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pthelynese
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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Fellow Dads, Help me name this Garden Art

Looking for what my fellow Dads would name this garden artwork in my buddies yard.

Carved Tree

I called it GandOwlF

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Marc--
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2020
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Hey Siri, I'm bleeding really bad. Can you call me an ambulance?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 334
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Discount_Dracula
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2017
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What's a pirate's favorite beer?

PB-Arrrg

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tree_Mum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2019
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Dad and Son Team

Dinner guest: So last night I was watching a PBS documentary on Mars.

Father and Son simultaneously: Wow! How did you get back? (fist bump)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 639
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2014
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A chemist’s daughter asked for lunch

One Pb and J sandwich later and she was hospitalized for lead poisoning.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JS0D
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2018
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San Bernadino:

An ISIL-ated incident

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scandiumflight
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2015
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Told my dad a joke stolen from AskReddit... Touche, old man

[dad joke] (https://m.imgur.com/p6BewPb)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nhwoodsblues
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2017
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My dad the magician...

Growing up I ate a lot of sandwiches. Without fail, every time I asked my father to make one for me this was the exchange...

Me: "Dad, can you make me a sandwich"?

Dad: "POOF! You're a sandwich."

It was maddening, especially when I was jonesing for a PB&J.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 191
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CTV49
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2013
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I asked my gf to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

She responds, "it would be difficult to make you a pb&j because you are too big. You would be large peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Achillez34
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2017
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Number one on my bucket list

Is probably this

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fakint
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2015
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"Babe can you move over?" "But I don't have mushroom."

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C1YAA2xXAAE0Tcx.jpg

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BreakingGarrick
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2017
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Thank You Olds, Alberta.

My girlfriend showed me a photo of severe weather in a town north of us and asked "have you seen the photo from Olds yet?"

"Saw it yesterday! That's old news"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ATinyBoatInMyTeacup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2015
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Why did the chemist die after eating a Pb&J?

Because he ate lead.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Doortem
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2018
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