I asked my son today β€œWhy do you always sing to your corn on the cob before eating it?”

His explanation was music to my ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fordskis
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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Conan The Cob.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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I’m in Tampa bay right now and they’re selling corn on the cob...

Buccaneer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nonficshawn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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They're gonna sell corn on the cob at the Super Bowl, and it's rumored to be cheap.

Only a...buck an ear?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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What do you call a cob that’s all alone?

A Uni-Corn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-DemCheekss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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What do you call a corn cob with only one kernel? /r/Jokes/comments/fm1mmc/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_morbid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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What do you call a single kernel on a corn cob?

A unicorn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cakecupbake
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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What do you call a unicorn with a corn cob instead of a horn

A punicorn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hooterscadoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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Dad;*walking around with a shirt with corn on a cob printed on*

Me; "What are you wearing??" Dad; "its my crop top"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suck_My_Wab
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads

They were really corny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoodiededumdum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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Did you hear about the corn cob that joined the army?

It was promoted to kernel!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
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My mother-in-law was having dinner with us, and began coughing while eating her corn on the cob. She said, "I'm choking on a kernel of corn".

I said "at least it wasn't a General of Corn". No one laughed except me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
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I ate some delicious corn on the cob yesterday

It was a-maize-ing.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
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Did you see the horse who could balance a corn cob on his head?

It was some unique corn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarahjennyv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
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My dad and I were having corn on the cob for dinner

After we were done, he gave the cobs to our two dogs as a treat. For the rest of the night, my dad referred to them as his "corndogs".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAisAok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a horse that causes you to have bad dreams?

A nightmare

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plumpyboii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Corn

So I went to the farmers market the other day and I saw pirate selling whole corn on the cob... I asked him β€œhow much is your corn?”

He replied β€œA buccaneer!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxrox2020
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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What's a unicorn?

A horse that wears corn on cob on its head in order to blend in with the other magical horses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Why did the kernel get fired?

He got caught sleeping on the cob.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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I got lost in a corn maze for a couple days last year

Needless to say I was starving, as fate would have it a ripe piece fell down right at my feet. Startled I called out β€œwell I guess it’s on the house!” To my amazement the stalk came to life and said β€œNonsense! It’s on the cob!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Durian-Shot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a unicorn being eaten by a spider?

Unicorn on the cob web

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiseoldmeme
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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My Yik Yak feed delivers

http://i.imgur.com/LT5FoFE.png

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danididdle23
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad told to eat a piece of corn. I replied "sorry I corn't" Then after he gave me the corn, I looked him in the eye and said "that was a pretty corny joke"

Groans all round.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the corn want to become a Mortician?

It was interested in the ma-cob.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Italian_Frog
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
🚨︎ report
How could you tell the corn was upset?

He had a cob on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: hey son what’s corn’s favorite salad?

Dad: a cob salad!

Son: dad, quit it with the corny jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spunkards97
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Corn-based agriculture is a-maize-ing
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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Cornwall, England
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mosqua
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
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Got my girl to roll her eyes with this one at the fair.

There were costumed food characters on stage in a cooking demonstration at the fair we were at (ice cream, churro, orange, and really round corn on the cob).

As the corn character was introduced, I turned to my girlfriend and said, "Aww shucks, that corn is a little husky."

The immediate look of disdain and the eye roll from her is my reason for living.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkelsey4610
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2016
🚨︎ report
What does a Canadian say when he’s playing basketball but also wants to tell you his favorite way to eat corn?

Cob, eh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaccdasnacc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a spider’s favorite food?

Corn on the cob-web

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burzi003
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
NEW!! Celebrity Fun in the Pun candle line!

Chris Pine - Pine scented

Cocoa Chanel - Hot cocoa scented

Beth Crow-ley - Rain, nighttime, and city streets scented

Tom Holly-and - Holly berry scented

JK Row-ling - Lakes and campfire scented

Miley Cypress - Cypress scented

Bob Moss - Forest and moss scented

Juniper Aniston - Juniper scented

Katy Berry - Mixed berry scented

Britney Spearmint - Spearmint scented

Bread Pitt - Bread scented

Tom Cruise - Ocean, salty, alcohol scented

Aurora - Nighttime, wind, whimsical scented

Nicole Kidman - baby powder scented

Justin Beaver - Wood, nature scented

Elvis Parsley - Parsley scented

Steve Cobs - Corn on the cob scented

Banana Montana - Banana scented

Orange Winfrey - Orange scented

Chris Bat - Nighttime, caves, and bats scented

Zoey Salad-ana - Salad, lettuce, leafy greens, tomato, cheese scented

Dwayne the Rock - Mountains, earthy, fresh, crisp, wind scented Jennifer Joe-pez - Nice hot cup o’ joe scented

Chicken Corbin Blue - Chicken and cheese and ham scented

Robert Brownie Jr. - Brownie scented

Sardine-a Gomez - Sardine scented

Daniel Rad-Clif - Clif bar blueberry flavor scented

Leonardo Di-Carp-rio - Fish scented

Halle Berry - Mixed scented

Demi Tomato - Tomato scented

Kevin Bacon - Bacon scented

Mandy S’more - S’mores scented

Mackerel-more - Fish scented

Broccoli Obama - Broccoli scented

WILL.I.SPAM. - Spam scented

Mark Buffalo Wings - Buffalo wing scented

John Lemon - Lemon scented

Shakiramisu - Tiramisu scented

Egg Sheeran - Eggs scented

Benedict Cucumber Patch - Cucumber scented

Adille - Dill scented

Kevin Spicy - Taco scented

Channing Potatum - Potato scented

Melon DeGeneres - Melon scented

Danny Burrito - Burrito scented

Michaelanjello - Red jello scented

Harry Panini - Panini scented

Snoop Hot Dog - Hot dog scented

Paris Hilton - Paris, city of love, generic love perfume scented

Morgan Whipped Cream-in - Whipped cream scented

Mike Fryson - French fry scented

Henry David Thoreaut Lozenge - Cough drop scented

Raisin Williams - Raisin scented

Robert Frosty - Vanilla ice cream scented

Jeff Onion-blum - Onion ring scented

Tom Skittle-ston - Skittles scented

Ralph Waldo M&Mson - Chocolate scented

Malt Whitman - Malt scented

(Friend and I came up with these on the ride down to Boston for a concert, after the β€œI wonder what Chris Pine smells like?” joke was brought up again from a previous time hanging out. I’m particularly proud of Bob Moss and Zoey Salad-ana.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minnara
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I got summer teeth

We were having dinner and my mom was commenting on how my dad doesn't eat his corn on the cob fully and to the cob. His reply:

Dad: I have summer teeth! Some are there, some are not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/got_nations
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
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Once when I worked at KFC...

We were wrapping corn in the morning. There were dozens of cobs on the table. I Said. "No one make any corny jokes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tychobrahe2020
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Nobody lended me an ear to listen to this one...

We had corn on the cob for dinner tonight. My mom: "The corn was off the chain tonight!" Me: "No, the corn is off the cob."

Which went largely ignored as i chuckled to myself about it.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2016
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What do you call corn stuck in a spider-web?

Corn on the cob

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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