Class ring Puns

The teacher asks the class, “ there are five birds on a power line, and you shoot two of them, how many are left?”

Johnny replies, “ none the rest flew away when they heard the shot.”

The teacher says, “ no three are left but I like the way you think.”

So then Johnny says, “ let me ask you a question. There are three women eating ice cream, one licking it, one sucking it, and one biting it, which ones married?”

The teacher says, “ the one sucking?”

Johnny says, “ no the one with the wedding ring but I like the way you think.”

Billy: "Dad!"

Dad: "Yes Billy, what's wrong?"

Billy: "How do I get good grades?"

Dad: "Well, Billy. To get good grades you have to B paying attention A lot and after Some time you will C that D time and F-ort you spent on homework actually payed off. and then you just have to do that until your E-gr parents can praise you for your hard work.

2 hours later.

Phone: Rings

Dad: "Hello!"

Billy: "So dad, how much money should I give to her?"

Dad: "To who!?"

Billy: "To a girl in my class. You said that to get good grades then all I had to do was to give her money. Attention says it will be fine with 20$, but I don't know."

A little back story first. My dad, brother, mom, grandma and I are in the car and the subject of class rings comes up and how there's a potential for my brother to get a good amount for college, grad school, etc.

So I say, " So you want three rings?"

Dad: "What? Are you a binder?"

Grandma, mom, dad, and brother start cracking up...I Just groan.

My dad has been trying so hard since he found out about this subreddit.

Some man approached my dad and asked him what year he graduated looking at his class ring. My dad tells him class of '92 and he asked how that was possible because my father looks pretty old. He informs him it was for his PhD and that his kids like to call him a doctor that doesn't help anybody. The stranger responds, well my kids call me a doctor that just sits on a stool and passes gas. We were both obviously confused until he let us know he was an anesthesiologist.