Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, βWhat was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?β
The other replied, βTiiiiimmmber!β
A man had a chainsaw accident and lost 2 fingers. He lost 20% of his touch.
Ouch.
Chainsaws
A brilliant man created a new chainsaw that only required 5 grams of sodium chloride and just one AA battery to work. It was charged with a salt and battery.
You are stuck in a cement room with only a table and a chainsaw, how do you get out?
You cut the table in half, because two halves make a hole.
Someone sent me a chainsaw in the mail today.
Shit. Now I have to send a saw to 5 other people.
What's the difference between a thief that's struggling with depression, and some gum trees getting chopped down by a cat with a chainsaw?
One's a felon feeling glum, and the other is a feline felling glum
I found a chainsaw at an amazing price today.
It was a real stihl.
After Handing Me The Chainsaw,
Here, hold Stihl for me.
