I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias
But that's enough about them
They were made an offer they couldn't reuse.
Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
Me: "Oh, why?"
Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."
You see one, you've seen a mall.
It’s always the centre of a tension.
Too exhausting
He's not too good at dealing with crosses.
... you might say it was exhausting 💨
To fix the blinds
"WOW, people are DYING to get into that place!"
..do they use cell phones?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡It was sole destroying.
It was like everything he said was just "Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi!"...
At the end, he stopped us outside the test centre.
"You know," I began, "alcohol really impairs someone's judgements..."
The lad's lip quivered, "But I'm not drunk, mister."
"No," I replied, "I am, and you've passed."
She is the fairest of the mall.
He went to the psychiatrist and he discovered it was more than just a fear. He has a complex complex complex complex
The Doctor sent him to a specialised centre.. It was the complex complex complex complex complex.
Unfortunately, it was an over-engineered building. Yes, it was a complex complex complex complex complex complex.
The pay was meagre but the tips were great.
He said, "Why, what's so special about it?"
It was soda-pressing.
-
(Lewis) Hamilton
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Stirling (Moss)
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Ayr Town Centre!!!
who passed away this month in 2004, I'd like to repeat something he's said to me often throughout his years.
Dad: "Hey Son"
Me: "Yeah Dad?"
Dad: "See that place over there?" points to cemetery
Me: "Yeah? What about it?"
Dad: "People are just dying to get in there."
http://i.imgur.com/K9AvDnz.jpg
Basically people ring in and complain about certain items they bought. This one guy rang in and was ranting about how disgusting his bananas were. The conversation went like this...
Him: Yea this is ridiculous, if I had've known when I bought them that they were this disgusting I'd never have got them at all
Me: Why, what exactly is wrong with them?
Him: They all black, and bruised. They look like they've been sitting on the shelves a while. They're horrible , they're just very...(3 second pause trying to think of the word to say)...very....
Me: Unapeeling?
Him: ... groan
Me: Sir?..
Call ended
...To which my dad replied, "At least the neighbors are nice and quiet."
I groaned.
Edit: Told him about the post's popularity. He added, "Living next to a cemetery would be a very grave situation."
That joke killed me
People must be dying to get in there...
like the title says im in need of a funny/catchy/witty/ pun name for my new pub! there are already a few pubs around with catchy pun names like pub-lick, and sub-urban (they make sub sandwiches at lunch) can we come up with something better!! some info that might help you out. the pub is going to be in canberra, act, australia in the city centre i.e. civic.
lets see what we can come up with!!
Dad: How many people do you think are dead in there?
Me or someone who hasn't heard it already: I don't know, 10,000?
Dad: All of them.
... you've seen the mall
You've seen one, you've seen a mall.
It’s always at the centre of a tension.
It’s always the centre of a tension.
It’s always the centre of a tension.
you've seen a mall
You've seen a mall.
It’s always the centre of a tension.
Because it is the centre of a tension.
It was the dead centre of town.
It’s always the centre of a tension.
Because it is the centre of a tension.
