I tried catching fog today...

... too bad I mist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LegAcyCoolBro
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2021
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We tried catching the chemical thieves...

... but they were just too phosphorus.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2021
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Why doesn't Santa Claus have to worry about catching COVID-19?

Because he has Santa-bodies.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BeefEater81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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Don't worry about catching COVID from the gifts that Santa delivers

They will all be Santatized

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Who_am_I_yesterday
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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If old age is catching up with you ...

... walk faster.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vk6flab
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
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I’m concerned after catching my son drinking brake fluid.

He says he can stop whenever he wants.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
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What do you call a woman who’s really good at catching fish?

Annette

πŸ‘οΈŽ 67
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UYScutiPuffJr
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2020
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What happens when you don’t go to the dentist because you are too afraid of catching coronavirus?

You get Covidies

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nate_hawwk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
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catching up
πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheRealZiovix
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2019
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When the Coronavirus starts catching on with black birds...

It'll be renamed Corvid-19, otherwise known as the CROWnavirus.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/citrusguy9
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2020
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A snail went to a car dealership and bought the flashiest, fasted, most eye-catching car they had. The snail then special ordered β€œS”s to be printed all over the car. The salesman asked why all the β€œS”s, the snail replied:

When people watch me drive by they’ll say β€œLook at that S-car-go”

(A joke my dad told me many many years ago)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FemaleDadClone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2019
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My students are catching on...

Today I took a class out onto the oval to investigate the strength of radio signals in different situations. For one, we wrapped a radio in foil and as I was unwrapping it a student commented that they hoped there was food inside.

I finished opening it and said 'oh man, it's a radio - mum must really hate me' to which another student replied 'I know, it's not even a ham radio...'

Was so proud!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/D-Nizzle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2014
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Which musician is the best at catching fish?

Baithoven

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JimbobobaboBob
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2019
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My hobby is catching flies.

When I am bored, it helps the time fly by.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KingofYears
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2019
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I read about one famous detective. Man was always catching criminals by simple luck. Either he would just luckily stumble across damning evidence or luckily catch the criminal in the act.

I think his name was Sheer luck Holmes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/clahws
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2019
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Catching Bigfoot

is no small feat

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ElemesUK
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2019
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I went frog catching last weekend

It was a ribbiting experience.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PopossWasTaken
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2019
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Someone who gets inspired catching trout...

...is a fishionary

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mmrtnt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2018
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Why are Eagles so good at catching prey?

Because they're naturally talonded.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Astroidrage
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2018
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Did anyone hear about the Pope catching the bird flu?

They say he caught it from a Cardinal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PunkishClown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2017
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I wanted to make sure that my daughter would be good at catching butterflies and fish.

So I called her Anette.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HardlyNetworking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2018
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My daughter: Catching on to both dad jokes and great 90's alternative music!

We were listening to Pearl Jam's "Alive" in the car this evening. She pipes up out of nowhere:

"Q: What does Eddie Vedder wear to bed?"

"A: Pearl Jammies"

She's 12. I'm proud.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/doubletwist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2018
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πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tutandgroan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2016
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Hunger Games Catching Fire
πŸ‘οΈŽ 211
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TropicalThursday
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2013
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So a friend and I were catching up...

Talking to a friend who I haven't spoken to in a while yesterday.

> Friend: Wow, you've changed quite a bit since the last time I talked to you.

> Me: Ehhh, people can change. Can you guess what the difference between you and I?

> Friend: What, that you've stopped working out and I've started?

> Me: Nope, the difference is 12.

Pause for a moment, before receiving a groan after they figured it out

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/horrible_dr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2014
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My dad was bragging about catching a mole in the yard...

So I ask him, "How many more are there to catch?"

He says, "Oh, about 6.02 times 10 to the 23rd."

Gotta love engineers!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aemon_Targaryen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03 2015
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Catching Fire imgur.com/4igVLGp
πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kirbyjo1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2013
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Catching up with an old friend

I was on the phone last night with an old friend from high school, and as we are saying our goodbyes after a decently long conversation, I say,

"Hey before you go, did you hear about that guy who got his whole left side cut off?"

Her: "no..? Oh my god what happened?"

Me: "oh, well he's all right now."

Her: groans "You haven't changed." Hangs up

Not sure if it's exactly a dadjoke, but it gets a groan from everyone I tell it to.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cawblade
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2014
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Bus catching

Friend: Almost got into 3 accidents trying to catch the bus.

Me: Why the fuck would you try to catch a bus?!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Danyn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2014
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They're catching on...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/daash
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2013
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Dads catching fire.

Talking about Jennifer Lawrence cutting her hair, thinking maybe for a movie role. "Heh. Heh. She caught fire "

Telling him about r/dadjokes "I can make more. Bad jokes too!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShellyMarsh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2013
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Catching a Fox

I showed my dad the picture from earlier this week of the fox frozen in the lake. This was his response:

"How do you catch a fox? I heard one good way is to walk up and say, 'Are you a model?'"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/This_is_a_revolution
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2014
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Catching my own Dad with a dad joke

My father drinks much tea and very often the conversation ressembles

DAD: Could you put the kettle on

ME: I'll try but i doubt it'll fit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/massafakka
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2014
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So I tried catching some fog today..

Safe to say, I mist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Doggo_AKA_JoeCool
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2021
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I tried catching fog the other day

I mist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2021
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Tried catching fog the other day...

Mist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/binxing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23 2020
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I tried catching fog the other day

I mist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WhoTheF---AmI
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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I tried catching steam once

But I mist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 62
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UnicornJizm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2019
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What do you call a woman who's really good at catching fish?

Annette

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2019
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I tried catching some fog today...

I mist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fildo_Daggins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2019
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What do you call a girl who is good at catching fish?

Annette.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/td941
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2018
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Catching Bigfoot is no small feet.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thedocproc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2016
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