I tried catching fog today...

... too bad I mist

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegAcyCoolBro
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
We tried catching the chemical thieves...

... but they were just too phosphorus.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Santa Claus have to worry about catching COVID-19?

Because he has Santa-bodies.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeefEater81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't worry about catching COVID from the gifts that Santa delivers

They will all be Santatized

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
If old age is catching up with you ...

... walk faster.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vk6flab
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m concerned after catching my son drinking brake fluid.

He says he can stop whenever he wants.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who’s really good at catching fish?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UYScutiPuffJr
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don’t go to the dentist because you are too afraid of catching coronavirus?

You get Covidies

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nate_hawwk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
catching up
πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealZiovix
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
When the Coronavirus starts catching on with black birds...

It'll be renamed Corvid-19, otherwise known as the CROWnavirus.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/citrusguy9
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A snail went to a car dealership and bought the flashiest, fasted, most eye-catching car they had. The snail then special ordered β€œS”s to be printed all over the car. The salesman asked why all the β€œS”s, the snail replied:

When people watch me drive by they’ll say β€œLook at that S-car-go”

(A joke my dad told me many many years ago)

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FemaleDadClone
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My students are catching on...

Today I took a class out onto the oval to investigate the strength of radio signals in different situations. For one, we wrapped a radio in foil and as I was unwrapping it a student commented that they hoped there was food inside.

I finished opening it and said 'oh man, it's a radio - mum must really hate me' to which another student replied 'I know, it's not even a ham radio...'

Was so proud!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D-Nizzle
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Which musician is the best at catching fish?

Baithoven

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimbobobaboBob
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My hobby is catching flies.

When I am bored, it helps the time fly by.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingofYears
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I read about one famous detective. Man was always catching criminals by simple luck. Either he would just luckily stumble across damning evidence or luckily catch the criminal in the act.

I think his name was Sheer luck Holmes

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clahws
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Catching Bigfoot

is no small feat

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElemesUK
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I went frog catching last weekend

It was a ribbiting experience.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopossWasTaken
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone who gets inspired catching trout...

...is a fishionary

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmrtnt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are Eagles so good at catching prey?

Because they're naturally talonded.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Astroidrage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Did anyone hear about the Pope catching the bird flu?

They say he caught it from a Cardinal.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunkishClown
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I wanted to make sure that my daughter would be good at catching butterflies and fish.

So I called her Anette.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlyNetworking
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My daughter: Catching on to both dad jokes and great 90's alternative music!

We were listening to Pearl Jam's "Alive" in the car this evening. She pipes up out of nowhere:

"Q: What does Eddie Vedder wear to bed?"

"A: Pearl Jammies"

She's 12. I'm proud.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doubletwist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tutandgroan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Hunger Games Catching Fire
πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TropicalThursday
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
🚨︎ report
So a friend and I were catching up...

Talking to a friend who I haven't spoken to in a while yesterday.

> Friend: Wow, you've changed quite a bit since the last time I talked to you.

> Me: Ehhh, people can change. Can you guess what the difference between you and I?

> Friend: What, that you've stopped working out and I've started?

> Me: Nope, the difference is 12.

Pause for a moment, before receiving a groan after they figured it out

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/horrible_dr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad was bragging about catching a mole in the yard...

So I ask him, "How many more are there to catch?"

He says, "Oh, about 6.02 times 10 to the 23rd."

Gotta love engineers!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aemon_Targaryen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Catching Fire imgur.com/4igVLGp
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirbyjo1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
🚨︎ report
Catching up with an old friend

I was on the phone last night with an old friend from high school, and as we are saying our goodbyes after a decently long conversation, I say,

"Hey before you go, did you hear about that guy who got his whole left side cut off?"

Her: "no..? Oh my god what happened?"

Me: "oh, well he's all right now."

Her: groans "You haven't changed." Hangs up

Not sure if it's exactly a dadjoke, but it gets a groan from everyone I tell it to.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cawblade
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2014
🚨︎ report
Bus catching

Friend: Almost got into 3 accidents trying to catch the bus.

Me: Why the fuck would you try to catch a bus?!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danyn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
🚨︎ report
They're catching on...
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daash
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
🚨︎ report
Dads catching fire.

Talking about Jennifer Lawrence cutting her hair, thinking maybe for a movie role. "Heh. Heh. She caught fire "

Telling him about r/dadjokes "I can make more. Bad jokes too!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShellyMarsh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
🚨︎ report
Catching a Fox

I showed my dad the picture from earlier this week of the fox frozen in the lake. This was his response:

"How do you catch a fox? I heard one good way is to walk up and say, 'Are you a model?'"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Catching my own Dad with a dad joke

My father drinks much tea and very often the conversation ressembles

DAD: Could you put the kettle on

ME: I'll try but i doubt it'll fit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/massafakka
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
🚨︎ report
So I tried catching some fog today..

Safe to say, I mist.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doggo_AKA_JoeCool
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried catching fog the other day

I mist

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Tried catching fog the other day...

Mist.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/binxing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried catching fog the other day

I mist.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoTheF---AmI
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried catching steam once

But I mist.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnicornJizm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who's really good at catching fish?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried catching some fog today...

I mist.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fildo_Daggins
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl who is good at catching fish?

Annette.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Catching Bigfoot is no small feet.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedocproc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
🚨︎ report

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