Why did the Scotsman only eat 239 beans?

Because if he had one more heโ€™d be (Scottish accent) two farty.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hakuna-matodda
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I know all of the digits of pi...

I just cannae remember the order.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TodaysLucky10K
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Queen Elizabeth visited an Edinburgh hospital recently...

She enters a ward full of patients, and notices that theyโ€™re all dressed in street clothes and have no obvious sign of injury or illness. The Queen approaches a patient and greets him. The patient replies:

โ€œMy heartโ€™s in the Highlands, my heart is not here, My heartโ€™s in the Highlands, a-chasing the deer.โ€

The Queen is confused, but smiles and moves on to greet the next patient. The patient responds:

โ€œSome hae meat anโ€™ canna eat, And some wad eat thaโ€™ want it, But we hae meat anโ€™ we can eat, so let the Lord be thankit.โ€

Even more confused, and smiling even more broadly, the Queen moves on to the next patient who immediately begins to chant:

โ€œMy love is like a red, red rose thatโ€™s newly sprung in June; My love is like the melody thatโ€™s sweetly played in tune.โ€

Now very confused, the Queen turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, โ€œIs this a psychiatric ward?โ€

โ€œNo, Your Majesty,โ€ replies the doctor. โ€œThis is the serious Burns unit.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fatboyfat1981
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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What's a stoner's favorite vehicle?

A canna-bus.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Samoht2113
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 01 2018
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Whatโ€™s a pot dealerโ€™s favorite mode of transportation?

A canna-bus.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/coal_the_slaw
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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