An old Irishman and his wife were walking along the seashore. He pointed out to the waves and said, “Molly, do you know why it’s called the ‘sea?’ Because when you’re out in the middle of it, it’s the only thing you can see!”
And Molly sighed, rolled her eyes, and said, “Oh, Sean...”
Molly ringworm
"Dude, you want some of this Molly?"
"No thanks, I've got visitation rights for my kid this weekend."
"So?"
"So, I've already got my ex to see."
I was so excited I called my Dad to tell him the news. "Hey Dad, Molly just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I'm a Dad now!" And he replies "Hi a Dad now. I'm grandpa!"
I received a text message that was clearly meant for someone else where the person said something like "I was hopping you could pick me up a case of beef sticks while you're at the store."
I responded with "Won't you be tired from all that hopping until Molly gets back from the store?"
Me: I pulled an ant from my hair. It freaked me out!
Dad: Really? Was it Molly, Donna, or Tanya?
