They're all in mint condition.
You'd think they'd be more expensive - they're in mint condition!
Oh tannen-bomb oh tannen-bomb...
They were all in mint condition
"Wow! I didn't think you'd like rap music!"
"I didn't, either," the old man replied. "It all started after my hip op".
He is reported to have said "revenge is sweet"
Jerry can
He replied, “nope, just looking”
A HURRYcane ...
Because, he had a hurry cane.
It scares the dog.
You can leave a cane in the corner over night.
It was a brisk Saturday morning when Gerald arrived at “The Café,” a hip coffee shop right down the street. Wearing his large, burly black coat, he stared hesitantly at his watch. Thick glasses adorned his bright blue eyes, his gaze like starlight in a clear night sky. He was waiting, intently twiddling his thumbs. After a buzz of his phone, the message from Dad popped up: “Parking now, be there in 5.”
“Dad,” he whispered under his breath, swiping the message away to once again reveal the image on his lock-screen: a hazy picture of an ultrasound.
Gerald had not spoken to his father for three years. They had had a falling out, over which he did not remember. To him it was a competition of who could wait the longest without calling or sending a text. Who could wait the longest: him without a father, or his father without a son? The idea of friction in the relationship hurt like a thorn; piercing his soul more and more everyday. Until recently, out of the blue, “Dad” popped up on his phone. The rest is history. The rest leads to that Saturday morning, at The Café.
Bang! A car door rang out not too far from where Gerald stood. Gerald saw him. His father wore his tweed jacket like a coat of armor. His strut was now weaker than before they stopped talking; a weakness evident in his cane which supported every right step. His shortly trimmed white beard juxtaposed against his uncut, curly grey hair gave him the image of a wise wizard from a fairytale. He used to be that figure to Gerald, yet instead of a nice ancient being acting like a stone to keep him grounded, Gerald had felt as though his father was a rock pulling him deeper and deeper into a sea of monotony. Holding him back from his true potential. Maybe that was why he left? He still did not know.
“Hello, son,” came the withered voice Gerald had sook for so long, yet now that it had arrived wanted to avoid. “I can’t believe it’s been so long!”
“Yeah,” said Gerald, allowing a smile to grace his face. “Too long!”
Then they hugged, signifying a change in their relationship. Gerald had hoped something could happen to bring them closer together. He did not want to go on wondering what could have been. The regret and sadness weighed him down. Before starting a new family, Gerald wanted to be reacquainted with his own.
After finding their table and sitting down, the two began to discuss life. It was like old friends catching up after a long break. Although it took some time, Gerald began to warm u
... keep reading on reddit ➡He mint well.
Must be why they call them hurry-canes.
I guess you could call it "Coke-cane."
They're in mint condition.
But he cane fifth and won a toaster
Bad case of plantar warts.
The English professor went first. He thought for a minute, then stepped up to the mic and said:
Slowly across the desert sand, Marched a lonely caravan, Men on camel, two by two, Destination; Timbuktu.
The audience applauded. Then it was the Native American's turn. He stepped up to the mic and said:
Me and Tim a huntin' went. Met three gals in a pop-up tent. They were three, we were two, I bucked one, Tim bucked two.
After all, they're in mint condition...
Would it be called coke cane?
...so I hide my cane every time the cops are around.
Me: "Thanks! I covered it in cane sugar!"
A candy cane
In the hare-force
Because I heard they got 3 and 1/2 feet of snow
So this girl I’ve been seeing for a while was at my place. She made a comment about how difficult a dogs life must be... I said “yea, it’s a rough life!” And proceeded to make three or four mor dog puns.
She walks to the Christmas tree, grabs a candy cane and throws it at me (all with a straight face).
Thinking she was mad, I asked what that was for.
She looks up, smiles, and says “It was your punish-mint.”
Well, now I'm raisin cane!
McCane
Our boys got bags with new toothbrushes and stuff from their dentist visit. Out oldest looked inside and said "hey, it cane with floss!"
Without looking up from the TV, I blurted out "that's floss-some".
A HURRY-cane
"Hurry! Cane!"
At work today, a friend of mine came in with two dried Carolina Reaper peppers. If you aren't familiar with these bad boys, they are hotter than Lucifer's testicles themselves. 2.2 Million Scoville units. Two times hotter than the ghost pepper.
To put it into perspective, a jalapeno is about 5000 scoville units. This one was 2.2 fucking million.
Anyway. I walked past my buddy's desk and he asked if I wanted some of the pepper.
OF COURSE I DID!!!
He gave me 1/4 of one of these little peppers and he even dared me to chew it for 15 seconds before swallowing. Which I did. To say that my mouth felt like the burning hemorrhoids of satans budding asshole would be a vast understatement.
One of the girls who sat near my buddy looks at me -- pacing back and forth around the room, sweating, crying -- and she says:
>"Cane-Dewey, are you alright!?"
I could barely breathe let alone speak. But through all the pain and angush, I still managed to mutter out:
>"No, I'm half left.
They were all in mint condition
They're in mint condition.
Last I knew, they were all in mint condition
