What do you call an insect butler

A serveANT.

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👤︎ u/JDougy96
📅︎ Dec 06 2020
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You can call me a butler

Because I dress the salad.

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📅︎ Oct 09 2020
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What do you call a butler in the mafia?

A maid man.

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📅︎ Oct 10 2020
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A rich occultist tells his Butler to get him some aged bourbon

He summoned spirits of long ago

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👤︎ u/fukurslf
📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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One armed butlers

They can take it but they can't dish it out

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👤︎ u/Stonefly_C
📅︎ Apr 10 2020
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The Butlers and Bartletts got together

They made quite a fancy pear.

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📅︎ Feb 13 2020
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Did you hear about the new movie on Isaac Newton played by Gerard Butler ?

Apple Has Fallen

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👤︎ u/kinjago
📅︎ Nov 14 2019
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My rich friend hired a one-armed butler, and is now regretting it.

Serves him right.

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📅︎ Oct 03 2018
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Why did I hire myself a one armed Butler!

Serves me right.

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👤︎ u/MrVilborg
📅︎ Apr 13 2019
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What do you call a reptilian butler?

A serpent.

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👤︎ u/Pdonkey
📅︎ Dec 24 2018
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My friend has a butler with a missing left arm.

Serves him right.

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📅︎ Nov 03 2018
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My friend can't pronounce his Rs, so his butler stopped providing him with red wine.

Serves him white.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jan 23 2019
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My android butler has a really bad attitude

I think he has a chip on his shoulder.

[Source: Me, am a dad]

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👤︎ u/EedSpiny
📅︎ Dec 22 2018
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If a butler screws up when applying for a job, you should always give them a second chance.

After all, everyone deserves a re-buttle.

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📅︎ Jun 15 2017
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Turned on the US News and didn't realize...

That there was a new Gerard Butler movie: "Capitol Hill has Fallen"

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📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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Where did Alfred Pennyworth earn his degree?

Butler University

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📅︎ Dec 29 2020
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Where did Alfred go to school?

Butler University

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📅︎ Dec 29 2020
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Dad's favorite joke is coming to an end. Its kinda long.

What you need to know: We have a grocery store called Dominick's.

Artie and Dominick grew up in the same neighborhood and were best friends. But after highschool, they parted ways.

20 years later, they bump into each other on the street and the friends have a happy reunion. They talk about their lives after they left their old neighborhood. Dominick is a very wealthy lawyer and Artie is a mobster. Artie turns to Dominick and says "If you need anything at all, I'll get it for ya. Just ask."

Dominick :Well there is one thing... Artie: Anything. Dominick: Well I can't stand my wife. Could you get rid of her? Artie: Of course! Dominick: Wait! You're my friend, I gotta pay you for this. Artie: I can't take your money. Dominick: I have to give you something! Artie: Fine, give me a dollar.

So Dominick hands him a dollar and tells Artie when he'll be at work. The next day, Artie slips into the house and strangles the wife but as soon as her body hits the ground, the maid walks in. So Artie strangles her too, but as soon as her body hits the ground, the butler walks in. Artie strangles the butler and then the police burst in.

The next day in the papers, the head line reads: "Artie Chokes Three for a Dollar at Dominick's"

The end. My dad was saying the other day he won't be able to tell that joke anymore because Dominick's (the store) is closing where we live.

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📅︎ Jan 20 2014
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Which one of your servants is always sticking to the roof of your mansion?

Peanut butler

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👤︎ u/superpond
📅︎ Sep 27 2012
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Man hires his best friend, Arty, to knock off his wife.

Arty, a professional hit man, will only let his friend pay him a dollar for the job. Professional courtesy. Arty strangles the wife, but both the maid and butler hear the commotion and come barging into the room. Arty has to take care of them as well, but by the time he's done, the cops have arrived and he is arrested.

The news reports the next morning:

"Arty Chokes 3 for a Dollar."

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📅︎ Apr 19 2015
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My friend has a butler who only has one arm...

Serves him right.

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📅︎ Nov 17 2016
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