My Grandpa told the longest buildup to the "dad"-est joke I've ever heard.

So there was a murderer and his name was Ardy. His last name was too long and complicated and everyone knew him in town, so everyone called him "Ardy". One of his buddies asked him to kill this guy for $3000 and after Ardy did a bit of research, he realized he knew him and had a grudge against him for years. So Ardy told the guy: "I hate this guy so much, I'll kill him for free."

Ardy's buddy said "Are you sure? I gotta give you something!"

So Ardy said, "Ok ok. I'll do it for a dollar."

The next morning, the guy was at Meijer (A grocery store) and Ardy came up behind him and choked him with his scarf. When he was done killing him, there was a woman screaming at him to stop. So Ardy had to choke her with his scarf too. After that, he ran to his car and there was an old man watching him, so Ardy went over and choked him too. In the middle of killing the old man, the police pulled up and arrested Ardy. After a bit of interrogation, Ardy admitted to killing all of them, and especially the first guy for only a dollar.

The next morning, the headlines read:

Ardy Chokes 3 for a Dollar at Meijer

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👤︎ u/Legownz
📅︎ Aug 02 2016
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Dadjoked my mum after a few years of buildup

Background: had this ipod for forever, got a new one and gave the old one to my mum, she was putting more music on it.

Mum: Why did you name your ipod the Titanic? I never got the joke.

Me: So when you plug it in, the Titanic is syncing.

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👤︎ u/suigenic
📅︎ Jul 27 2014
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.

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👤︎ u/_memegirl_
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
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So... A fighter in the coliseum faced a strange challenge...

He was presented a beautiful lady and told he had to kill her with cannibalism. This fighter has a good heart and could never do this, but if he did not oblige than both would die. He beat her to death and fed on the remains. Afterwards, it was revealed that the lady was actually quite evil and murdered children.

The camera pans out, it's Russell Crowe, he is Glad-he-ate-her.

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📅︎ Apr 09 2018
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I'm a nightguard at a dangerous seaworld

If I fall asleep, I'll be sleeping with the fishes

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👤︎ u/Croaan12
📅︎ Jun 29 2017
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Did you hear about the dentist who was displeased with all the awards his son was earning?

There was major plaque buildup.

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📅︎ May 30 2018
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What's the worst part about a well advertised party that no one attends?

It's all buildup with no punchline.

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📅︎ Jul 26 2018
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