My house was painted a bright purple, so I changed it to brown, then purple again...

I went back to the fuchsia

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is it so hard to understand mothers who use overly bright decorations?

Too much MUMbling

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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1986, The Chernobyl reactor exploded, releasing a bright, radioactive beam into the sky. People in towns away stared at it in awe.

They must've thought that it was pretty rad

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackKnightiscool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm so bright

My dad calls me son

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tool_Time_Tim
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I once knew a guy who was a pilot but he wasn't very bright.

All of his friends called him plain stupid.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyArmy2019
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I squint at the sun because its bright...

......but, I squint at some coworkers, because they aren't.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
His Sun isn't so bright...
πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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More (mediocre) OC in honor of a woman who lived a bright and colorful life. We will miss you, RBG.
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeeveryoneup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StoppingMusic21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The sun is hot, and bright... I look up to the sun. :)
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatLilChara2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Your Chinese restaurant is too bright...

...maybe you should dimsum.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/risanthy
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was young, I was extremely bright.

Because of this, my dad called me "sun."

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentTempestLord
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens to nitrogen when it's bright outside?

It becomes daytrogen

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaRealEnderguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What animal is bright?

A lamb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bomber31
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
They ain't very bright
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/papa_papito
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I like to keep a photo of the Sun on my phone. When people ask me if I have any kids, I start telling 'em about my son and how bright he is. I then pull out the phone to show them the photo.
πŸ‘︎ 220
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimothyHalpern
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
The lights in the Chinese restaurant were too bright

so I asked if they could dim sum.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Look On The Bright Side
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterLauris
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Bright
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSKNlabs_97
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time, always wear a bright long-sleeved shirt, gloves and shorts.

You want them to think you're a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The stars are bright

My dad is a Navy Vietnam vet who is about to be a retired GM electrical engineer. He is retiring against his will because he has had three strokes, colon cancer, a pulmonary embolism, necrotic esophagus, renal failure, pneumonia, basically a medical shitstorm and he survived it all. In the process, he has lost a lot of memory and quite a bit of his cognitive abilities and furthermore, his balance. However, when I took out the trash tonight at nearly half past ten, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the stars looked outside tonight. So upon returning, I told my mom and dad "The stars sure are bright tonight. They look amazing." To which my dad then asked, "You know why they're so bright, right?" Now I'm an amateur astronomer. Hell, my first and only telescope was inherited to me by my mother who got it from her father. So knowing its winter and I live in Michigan, I tell my father, "Because its so cold and dry, the star light isn't blocked as much?" His reply; "No. Its because the sun went down. So now its darker outside." Dad: 1. Me: -5.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hyperbattleship
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
🚨︎ report
My dog is not very bright.

He filed my taxes late again.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateChop231
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m so bright my daddy calls me son.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phrygianhalfcad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I think this kid has a bright future
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/niko5253
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
In case your future isn’t looking so bright, here’s the switch.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
That person seems very bright
πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MEAT_DUCK117
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
🚨︎ report
My child isn’t so smart, but I always knew I was bright

Because my dad called me son

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesw4408
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My house was very bright until the burgeler stole my lamp...

I was delighted

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dfarni
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Fireflies are able to generate a bright light to attract mates...

They have "hi" beams!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A lasting relationship with someone bright might not work out.

But an on-off relationship would be perfect for them.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CritBit1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
You know the bright side to being a piΓ±ata?

People always get hit on

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corcormcdan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
How can flames afford to be so bright?

Fire works

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to Chinatown today, but there were too many bright lights.

So I asked them to dim sum.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
When you are unhappy with life, look at the bright side.

Maybe your superpower is to expect too much.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Man, that sun is bright

My dad was driving us to the airport early in the morning, and the sun was extremely bright straight ahead of us. Sitting in the front, I pulled down the sun-blocker-thingy but it didnt help. I noticed Dad was driving just fine, and without sunglasses. I asked him "how can you drive with the sun in your face like that? I can barely see anything.." He replied "Ah there's nothing to it, I just keep my eyes closed."

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickeyboicky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2013
🚨︎ report
Why are the Eiffel Tower's lights so bright?

French resistance is low.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report
I think my Dad thinks I’m really bright

Cause he always calls me his son

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStrangeDuckie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm so bright

My dad calls me son

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Barl_jalgruuf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I am so bright..

my father calls me sun.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dreamerxyz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I like to keep a photo of the Sun on my phone. When people ask me if I have any kids, I start telling 'em about my son and how bright he is. I then pull out the phone to show them the photo. "He's my star," I conclude with a smile.
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NerdyRomantic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2015
🚨︎ report
I'm so bright..

.. my father calls me son.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notedeath
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
🚨︎ report

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