If I find a bone in my boneless chicken breast...

I have a bone to pick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOrangeWolf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2021
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Why did the boneless man go to the beach?

He wanted to get skele-tan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owen_Faudree
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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I saw boneless chicken on sale in the grocery store.

I thought, that chicken must have had a hard time walking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Milksteak28182
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Why are virgins the sacrificial choice of man eating monsters?

They're boneless! :D

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2014
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Ice is just ..

Boneless water!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnUglyBrokeBoy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
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Dad joked at breakfast...

My dad walked into the kitchen this morning, and got an egg out of the fridge. Dad: What is this? Me: An egg... Dad: No! It's a boneless chicken! He then puts the egg away and walks off laughing...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Travelteach73
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2014
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At work the other day..

I work at KFC as a cashier and mid dinner rush last night a man came through drive through and so I asked how he wanted his chicken done as in Original, Crispy, Grilled, or Boneless. So in response to "how do you want your chicken?" he responded "Cooked of course!" and then I imagine him trying to high five whoever else was in the car with him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasbubbly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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