I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!

When she asked why I responded β€œyou’ll get salmon-Ella!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/P1nealColada
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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The 7ft tall butcher lifted his fillets above his head.

The steaks have never been higher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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I ordered a chicken fillet but got beef instead

it was a misteak.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:

Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?

Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?

oh wait.........

Credit goes to Matt from Studio C

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lickedy_Split_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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What do you call a dead chef that was acting fishy?

Fish Fillet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebatm3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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I own a fish that can talk.

I asked him, "What lights up your night?"

He said " Blub"

Sorry, he's a bit dyslexic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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While filleting fish

My older brother when he was 12, "Dad, do fish feel pain?" Dad, "Do you hear the fish saying ow?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Only_Abe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2013
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What do I do when my tummy is empty?

Eye Fillet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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My son will make a great dad someday.

Wife and I were in the kitchen talking about these new steaks we've been getting from Farm Boy. She's worried we won't be able to find such good steaks when we move.

Teenage son walks in the room, "sounds like you guys are having a pretty high-stakes conversation."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesusporkchop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2014
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So I asked my kids what would happens to Minions in a knife fight...

They'ed become fillet minions, of course...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bionic80
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2017
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GUYS, PHILAE MADE IT TO ROSETTA! :D

It was really risky, though! They had complications during landing, but it was fine... the steaks were pretty high, though, as far as fillets go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ARADPLAUG
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
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