Biopsy Puns

She gave him a piece of her mind.

It was B-9.

A biop-sea. (Thought this one up while waiting for my biopsy)

me: Hi is this Mr. Dad?

Mr. Dad: yes, I am me

Me: This is me, calling from Dr. Cancer's office to discuss your biopsy results with you, do you have a minute to speak with me?

Mr. Dad: i have at least 7 minutes, i can certainly spare one to give to you! I'm glad Dr. Cancer is proactive in contacting me - the last doctor I went to, i had to tell him i broke my arm in two places.

me: Oh jeez, I'm sorry to hear that M-

Mr. Dad: yeah, and you know what the doctor said? Don't go back to those places!

...sound of me rolling eyes over phone while he chortles...

So my dad has this little mole thing right under his lip where he usually grows his soul patch. Today he went to the dermatologist to get it biopsied. I met up with him afterwards and we were discussing the fate of his mole and what might happen if he cuts it off. Me: "what if it leaves a scar?" Dad: "it's okay I'll just grow my soul patch again and cover it" Me: "but what if the hair doesn't grow back? What if it leaves a hole?" Dad: "then it'll be a hole patch" Me: groans for all of eternity

"Yeah, so I had a biopsy of my prostate last week. It was a real pain in the ass."