"It's ok," he says. "They're benign."
The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign
they said I have a great sense of tumour
because she died from a giant crab.
I asked the young girl at the register "If I buy this and don't have a better tomorrow can I return it for a refund?"
Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer
That’s quackery!
Then I’d finally have the balls to kill myself.
What a great boob job.
They've updated their name reflecting their new job to Boobees.
Those were some bad mammaries.
Sadly, he already had cancer
When it's aperant.
I turn to her and say “I bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”
Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
Never gets old.
Apologies for not following the usual formatting. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. A few weeks ago, we learned it had spread to his brain. Later that day, he told me:
“Well, everyone came by after they heard about the lung cancer and told me how strong and great I am, and that I’d beat lung cancer...”
pauses for effect
“...I guess I let it go to my head.”
Edit: thank you all for the kind words (and the silver/gold/platinum...I’ll be making matching gifts to St. Jude’s or a similar organization).
Yes he was a great man. At age 20 he was given 3 months to live due to another ‘incurable’ disease. He stuck around for another 45+ years. I could go on and on...
Because it’s cancer
Good thing I’m using it in Missouri.
Clark Kent’s lucky he gets his powers from the sun, we just get cancer
It smoked for 6 hours.
Its birthday is July 4th.
Because she's an on-call-ogist
She was killed by a giant crab
Ok, tumor
Research scientists
He was attacked by a giant crab
It finally Taurus apart
[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)
Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...
http://imgur.com/NkCtk6M
But don't worry, it was B9.
... I guess his life is in Jeopardy
;
I’m already on stage 4
... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
They said, “Maybe you should check your junk.”
Bald words for someone without it.
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign
Apologies for not following the usual formatting. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. A few weeks ago, we learned it had spread to his brain. Later that day, he told me:
“Well, everyone came by after they heard about the lung cancer and told me how strong and great I am, and that I’d beat lung cancer...”
pauses for effect
“...I guess I let it go to my head.”
Edit: thank you all for the kind words (and the silver/gold/platinum...I’ll be making matching gifts to St. Jude’s or a similar organization).
Yes he was a great man. At age 20 he was given 3 months to live due to another ‘incurable’ disease. He stuck around for another 45+ years. I could go on and on...
