Why did Microsoft named its search engine "BING"
Because It's Not Google...
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Mi me chiama JAR JAR BINGS...
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︎ Nov 03 2020
If Bing Crosby was so great
Imagine how good Google Crosby would have been?
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︎ Aug 13 2020
My local karaoke bar has just banned all Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Bing Crosby songs β¦
to prevent the spread of the crooner virus.
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Started singing like a cross between Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra.
Think I may have caught this croonervirus.
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︎ Apr 14 2020
Bing Crosby
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︎ Dec 20 2019
I went to go shopping for cherries and microphones the other day. Bought a bing, bought a boom.
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︎ Jul 31 2019
Bowie and Bing Crosby meet up in heavenβ¦
David Bowie: "You look a bit down in the dumps, Bing. What's wrong?"
Bing Crosby: "my inflatable arsehole needs blown up."
Bowie: "Do you want to borrow my rubber bum pump?"
Bing: "Rubber bum pump?"
Bowie: "Rubber bum pump."
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︎ Dec 06 2019
Did you know Bing Crosby gave David Bowie a pom pom for Christmas?
And not just any old pom pom but a proper pom pom!
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︎ Dec 16 2019
If I was a journalist, I'd ask a lot of pro bing questions.
Like "Isn't Google the worst search engine?"
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︎ Jul 27 2016
Whatβs the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
Bing sings but Walt Disney.
EDIT: to avoid some possible confusion Iβve changed βandβ to βbutβ.
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︎ Apr 07 2018
Chandler Bing really is the master of dad jokes.
While at a tailor's,
"How long do you want the cuffs?"
"Well at least for as long as I have the pants."
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︎ Aug 31 2014
I was replaying Wind Waker recently after having binged BNHA, and the idea popped into my head.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
My New year's resolution is to stop binge eating Xmas leftovers...
I'm going to quit cold turkey.
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Today I found out that you can actually hear the blood flowing through your veins.
You just have to listen varicosely.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
*me binge eating Christmas treats*
Jesus Christ what have you done to me!
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Dad: what do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
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︎ Feb 01 2021
This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.
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︎ Jul 07 2020
I'd like to personally thank the inventor of the mini skirt...
My balls have never felt so free.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
I need a suggestion of a good medical sitcom to binge on Netflix....
But I donβt want no Scrubs
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︎ May 10 2020
Whatβs the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when your nailing them! Bada Bing!
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︎ Jan 23 2021
I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.
Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Went to the store yesterday and bought a single cherry and some microphone equipment
Bought-a-Bing, Bought-a-boom
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︎ Jan 19 2021
I want the normal one too! (Op u/ItsSrikerOMG)
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︎ Nov 03 2019
I took my new gun to the range to try it out, but somehow it wonβt work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
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︎ Jul 04 2019
I just finished binge-watching an entire series on NetFlix or whatever it is!
It was a documentary on doing things in moderation.
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︎ Apr 26 2019
Dad : βI need to call the doctor today.β Mom : βWhich doctor?β
Dad : βNo, the regular kind.β
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︎ Jun 10 2019
Caw Caw
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︎ Aug 02 2019
Binge-watching a few Netflix series with my wife this weekend, when I noticed the same actor had been in all of them...
Man, that Skip Intro guy get's a lot of work!
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︎ Jun 26 2018
Mike Tyson got very disturbed after binge watching βBreaking Badβ.
He said, βThat was pretty methed up.β
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︎ Jun 26 2018
When I have kid I will tell them about their birth and say
Badda bing badda boom youβre were out of the womb
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︎ Nov 15 2020
We had just finished binge watching 'Stranger Things' ...
and were walking up stairs to go to bed, when this exchange took place:
GF: "Whoa, there's a tv remote all the way over here on the stairs, isn't that weird?"
Me: "Meh, I've seen stranger things."
GF: "Oh my god, STOP!" it got an eye roll and chuckle out of her though.
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︎ Oct 18 2016
The radio was on the classical station during a Star Trek binge.
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︎ Feb 24 2015
I went shopping at a cherry stand and then a microphone store.
Bought a Bing. Bought a boom.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Hubby got me during a Netflix binge...
Hubby: We should put the TV on the floor.
Me: Why?
Hubby: So you can watch Friends in low places!
He was so proud...
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︎ Jul 24 2015
So you're Binge Reading?
This was to my younger sister.
Me: "what are you reading?"
Her: she holds up her book and the spine says "Binge"
Me: "So you're Binge reading?"
And she rolled her eyes harder than I've ever seen.
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︎ Nov 08 2015
I just caught my son googling porn web sites, and Iβm completely heartbroken.
We are strictly a Bing family.
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︎ Dec 27 2018
My dad saw the Google car...
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︎ Nov 19 2015
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︎ Sep 08 2017
My last joke got taken down.
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︎ Jan 15 2020
What does a Clock do when hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Credits to Cortana (or Bing)
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︎ Jul 31 2015
I went to go shopping for cherries and microphones the other day: bought a bing, bought a boom.
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︎ Jun 17 2017
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today."
"Which doctor?" she asked.
"No, the regular kind."
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︎ Feb 03 2019
Sometimes, my wife makes it *too* easy.
"I need to call the doctor today."
"Which doctor?"
"No, the regular kind."
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︎ Dec 05 2016
I went shopping for cherries and a microphone the other day...
Bought a bing. Bought a boom.
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︎ Oct 16 2019
Went shopping for a cherry and a microphone...
Bought a bing,
Bought a boom..
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︎ Apr 05 2018
I went to go shopping for cherry's and microphones the other day
Bought a bing bought a boom
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︎ Jun 14 2019
Purchased a cherry and a microphone
Bought a bing, bought a boom
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︎ Jun 02 2019
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