The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Needless to say, my plans were foiled
Unfortunately those people near the river didn’t have much money
In&Out
The rabbit says, "I think I'm type-o."
Technically it's a mom joke since my mother-in-law told me....but I still laughed a lot.
Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
Edit: Credit to r/Teenagers for this
I said, "Every year"
But they do have a Liverpool.
Overheard my neighbour telling this joke to his kid.
Stainless steal
"This is a stick up!"
Man: No problem Sir. What’s the name of your previous bank?
Me: Piggy.
He found himself a loan.
To change its quarters.
An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
He's a small medium at large.
The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!"
They have done a few takes, but none worked
All he has for collateral is a ceramic statue. The loan officer, Patty Black, is unsure of what to do so she consults with her supervisor; "Oh fine", he says. "It's a knick knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan."
Such a relief when they said it was just a bank robbery.
but it does have a Liverpool
Max turns and says, " Miss Stakes, we're made"
No need. You're a Type-o.
They said, "This is a robbery," and everybody relaxed a little.
They only make dollars.
"Thank you for cumming"
They need to get their fax straight.
They saw them through their teller-scopes.
She wanted to open a shavings account.
I took my piggy bank to the five and dime store and they told me they didn't take any thing under a dollar...
A policy like that just makes no cents...
Everyone on the ground! It's a strawberry1
Everyone felt a huge relief when they told us it's only a bank robbery.
I just couldn’t teller
According to them, I have an outstanding balance
A Penn and a Teller.
They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”
I don’t know how I’m expected to make a pretty penny
He's still on the lamb.
She said he was the lone arranger.
But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
Put your hands in the air. This is a STROBBERY!!
To control the flow of the current sea
Because bakers knead dough!
The river bank.
But it’s just change to me!
They gave me a lien paper.
It was inside job
A fortune teller
He fell pretty hard too
Con joined twins
he was a four-chin teller
When I click on it there are fewer singles than I expected.
This is a STICK-up!
Should I teller?
They said I can't drink on the job
It just doesn’t make any cents
Because they want to be a loan
They're both pretty cool but if you have either of them in a bank you're going to jail.
This is now the fifth one that has insufficient funds.
... checking his balance
The cops finally nailed him.
When he got there, a woman extended her hand.
"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"
Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the Frog, and I would like to borrow some money."
They walked over to her desk and sat down.
"Certainly, Mr. Frog--"
"Oh, just call me Kermit."
"Okay... Kermit. How much money would you like to borrow?"
"Ten thousand dollars."
Mildly surprised, Ms. Wack looked intently at Kermit.
"Do you have any references?"
"Well, I suppose I could use my father, Keith Richards."
Ms. Wack froze for a second, then...
"THE Keith Richards?"
"Oh, yes. In fact, he told me he's friends with your manager, which is why I came in here."
"Okay... Do you have any collateral?"
"Excuse me?"
"Collateral. Something of value, like a car, or a boat..."
"Oh, yes! I do have something. I have this."
Kermit reached into his briefcase and placed a small figurine on the desk. Patricia looked curiously at the object, then at our amphibious friend.
"What's this?"
"It's a Hummel."
"A what?"
"A Hummel. They're supposed to be quite valuable. Well, at least this one is to me."
She picked up the Hummel and stood up.
"If you don't mind, I would like to show this to the manager."
"Oh, no! I don't mind at all!"
So, Patricia took the Hummel to the manager's office, knocked on the door, and walked inside.
"Patricia! What can I do for you?"
"Mr. Wilson, there's this... frog named Kermit at my desk, and he wants to borrow $10,000, but he has only this for collateral."
Mr. Wilson looked at the Hummel, then out to her desk.
"I don't see anything out of order here."
"But, Mr. Wilson--"
"Look, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
To check his balance
He was banking on his friends to do it
Because his family was in a jam
You know the drill. AK47s, skimasks, the works. Anyway, they tell everybody to lie down on the floor. All the people in the bank hits the floor but this old man. He is still standing. So, the robbers tells him, not very politely i might add, to lie down on the floor.
Old man: "Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm CIA"
Robbers: "We don't give a shit, get on the floor NOW!"
Old man: "Nope. I'm CIA."
Old mans wife: "Walt, for Gods sake. You're not CIA, you're senile!"
Is it a 'joint' account.
He lost interest in her
chequemates ;)
Turns out I have an inner ear infection.
But there were some baby goats there using alchemy to paper money into coins near the exit. As I rushed out the door, I tripped over some of their stacks of coins, which knocked me out til the police showed up.
I was so close! And, honestly, I would have gotten away with it too... if it weren't for those metaling kids.
She had outstanding balance.
He died recently surrounded by his family.
The rabbit says, “I think I might be type o.”
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over
The rabbit says, "I'm a type O."
The rabbit says “I think I might be a Type O”.
A woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over
"This is a stick up!"
A customer came in and asked me to check their balance... So, I pushed them.
So she pushed him.
The vampire says, “Where's the rabbit?”
So I pushed her over
Edit: wow thanks for the gold!
So i pushed her over
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Man of Steal
so I pushed her over.
The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!"
An old lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
