I have a picture with me standing and solar panels in the background. Please suggest something punny.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I changed the computer background to a lizard.

Now it’s a Monitor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PugTastic6547
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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Pengwin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shevelled
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"

The teacher said it had to be specific

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Bor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Don't bother doing a criminal background check on me.

I've never been caught.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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My MIL, rest her soul, asked about my background while I was dating my wife.

I was worried, as I'm a bit of a mutt.

She says she didn't care as long as I didn't have Roman hands or Russian fingers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Joke I made to my gamer buddy.

Friend: -Sighs-

Me: -AGGRESSIVELY LOUD SIIIIIIIIIIIGH-

Friend: "The heck was that?"

Me: "I heard you were sighin', so I thought I'd join you and go super sighin.

(Dragonball Z joke with Saiyans)

Background to this joke: Took me years to get the perfect setup for this joke. Needed a bunch of friends present for maximum groans/laughs, needed to remember to do it, and needed friend to sigh and follow up to my ridiculous-ness. It was one of my most satisfying jokes I've told.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stuff_rulz
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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I recently got a new job!

A little bit of Background information:Β  When I was a young lad, my father was a professional glass cleaner.Β Β  Not just for a job, cleaning Glass was this man's passion!Β  He always wanted me to take over for him when I grew up, but I always thought it would be a pain, it was a silly job, really.Β Β  However, I knew that my father would be shattered if I didn't put an honest effort into the cleaning business.Β Β Β  The first time I perfectly cleaned a mirror, I realized I could really see myself doing this!Β Β  My father was wiping away tears of pride when I began to become as passionate as he was.

Anyways, fast forward to a couple months ago.Β Β  I have taken over my father's cleaning company, and was working a job at a publishing agency.Β  Now, due to the pandemic, this building had set up different entry points depending on the purpose of your visit, and each one was gated and stationed by an employee so you could have your temperature taken and go through a checklist to ensure you don't have any symptoms, etc.

After finishing the contract at this building, the owner was so impressed with my work that he said he would like to recommend me for a permanent job with a friend of his.Β Β  At first, I was skeptical (I had taken over the family business, after all), but it was becoming difficult to find regular clients anymore, so I agreed.Β Β Β  He gave me a single sheet from a notepad, and told me to write down something about myself that sets me apart from others in my line of work, and I should make it a very impactful statement,Β  his friend was a very busy man and wouldn't look at more than notes like these.Β Β Β  I wasn't sure what to write on the spot, so he told me to think about it, and return the note when I come back to leave the bill for my work.

So I came back a few days later, went through the gate to drop off my bill and my note about how I am much better than any other glass cleaner out there.Β Β Β  Well, it turns out the friend of the publishing agency's owner was a hiring manager for a well-known computer company, and my note really caught his eye, and I was offered the job!Β Β  Now I make more money every two weeks than I had with a month!Β Β  At first, I though my father would be upset by me leaving the family business behind, but he told me "As long as you are happy where you are, with what you are doing, then you are succeeding in life.Β  You are no longer a student of glass cleaning, you are my equal, and I am proud of you"Β  I never realized how freeing it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/terjulmar
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Let me give you some background here...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patche0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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I created a Linux background process for the Message Analysis Test Tool.

I call it the MATT DAEMON!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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My wife and I started fighting each other whilst wearing boxing gloves and 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background...

We are going through a Rocky patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Post was on a picture of the Simpsons where there was a flashback between Homer and Marge taking care of Bart and Lisa but theres a picture of Maggie in the background before she was born
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nameisnoman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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She gave me a BJ with some alternative rock playing in the background

I guess you can say I got some Radiohead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diego_godean
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2017
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When watching "Wonder Woman" I tell my kids to look carefully in the background of the Paris scene for an Easter egg. "What are we looking for?", they ask.

"Her invisible jet."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ostrantula
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Talking to my GF " so I got this from a chick at work today" (hand her a piece of paper) daughter freaks out in the background, "a chick?!? I wanna see I wanna see can I hold it?" Lmao
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Pulled off a real-life-one, i guess...

Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.

so here goes...

(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)

daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?

me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?

daughter: elizabeth-gramma.

me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?

(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)

daughter: don't know, who?

me: my mum.

(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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To help me focus on working, background music is instrumental

Mostly because I'd get distracted if there were vocals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillKay10
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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Cosmic Microwave Background i.reddituploads.com/c15e2…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/waydeultima
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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Background: I took my Mom to see my Dad who has advanced dementia. We were watching the Phillies game in TV.

Dad: It sure is a nice day for a baseball game.

Mom: Tomorrow it will be too

Dad: Oh, it’s a doubleheader?

Mom and me: πŸ€”

Dad: Wry smile

Me: Dad, you still got it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Canisteo99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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My wife changed my background while I was at work i.reddituploads.com/39efd…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bozzy253
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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A friend of mine quit their job recording background sounds for Hollywood films to open a spa.

I have to say that the difference in my skincare regimen is incredible, now that it's ex-foley aided!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemonwizard
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Wall sculpture
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alleycatau
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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What's your background? imgur.com/a/aeCaR
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prometheuspk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
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The chicken police

So my family has chickens and in order to understand how this pun came to be I must give a little background on a running joke my family makes. When our chickens do some crazy we’ll say something along the lines of β€œ(chicken’s name) is on crack.” This was a few days ago so I don’t remember the exact words but it went something like this: Somebody: (chicken’s name) you need to get off of whatever crack you’re on. In my head: Wait a second, I feel like I can make a pun here... And about 10 seconds of thinking later I said some along the lines of β€œOr else we might have to call the poultrice!”

Get it? Poultry + police. Felt like a genius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlatypusQueen17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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Just horsing around...

Background: we have two horses who have their own paddocks next to each other and are both the same age but not related. My 6 year old daughter was helping me pick the horse poop up in the paddocks today.

My daughter: β€œdad are our two horses brothers or just best friends?”

I said: β€œthey are not brothers sweet heart and I am not sure they are best friends, but one things for sure - they definitely are neigh-bours.

She laughed, I laughed. It was my proudest dad joke moment ever!! Haha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smurfman1900
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What's your background? (xpost from /r/funny
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strasner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2013
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I like that smokestack in the background.

It's really adding to the atmosphere.

(-my girlfriend, taking a picture at a garden tonight. I read her the top of r/dadjokes every day; I think it's finally producing subconscious results.)

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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Son: Dad why do you have a picture of an elephant as your background?

Dad: Gee son, thanks for addressing the elephant in the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clickclickonsal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
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Dad calls me up with this one and my mom is cackling in the background

Dad calls me up: "Hey, son, what do you call a thousand rabbits standing abreast and jumping backwards? It's a receding hare line."

I can practically hear the look on my dad's face over the phone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePrimeOptimus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
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I finally got to cash in on a joke today that I’ve been looking for a reason to use for years

Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.

We got back to the house and my nephew said...

Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.

Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?

Nephew: no. Is it still broken?

Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.

He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LostPin
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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At the end of a call at my job, I ask if there’s anything else I can help with.

Guy (being bugged by his kids in the background) replies, β€œYeah, can I put 9 and 12 year olds in your recycle containers?” I replied, without skipping a beat, β€œOh, no. I’m so sorry, We JUST stopped accepting those ages. We are currently taking 8 and 10 year olds.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/veelagirl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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[Request] Can anyone please help me come up with a business name that is a Bob's Burgers-level pun?

The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes. Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.

But I am So. Stuck.

A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...

I'm ready to take the next steps in making this an actual business and take out some ad space, but the perfectionist in me NEEDS a brilliant name. Can someone please help me? The best I can come up with is some sort of play on Pepper Potts, but I see quite a few VAs out there with that as a business name. I will gift a platinum to the one I like the best if that's appropriate.

Thank you in advance! πŸ”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmElleGee31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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I hear Tom Hiddleston is in the background of one of the scenes in Avengers 2

It's quite a low key appearance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wigglesface
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2015
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Stepdaughter pun that I never thought I'd hear.

Brief background: stepdaughter is 20 years old and has always hated when I make puns/dadjokes

So my step daughter just came downstairs heading out for work and just as she's walking out the door I noticed she has only one shoe on.

Me: "Hey! You know you only have one shoe on, right?

Her: "yeah, the other one is in my car"

Me (visibly confused): "uh...ok"

Her: "you might say I'm a step ahead"

The door shuts, my jaw dropped.

I run to the door, open it,

"Was that a pun? did you just make a dad joke?!"

She replies only with a smirk.

I'm so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/athei-nerd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2017
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What do you call the space between apps?

Gapps.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rolluphill
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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Subwoofer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riiisa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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My grandpa: "I had to get a background check for a janitor job today"

"But don't worry, my record was squeaky clean"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WilsonHanks
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2014
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I guess my background check cleared...

Him "Why are you here for?" Me "I'm here to get a background check for a second hand dealer." Him "Let me look at your back, all right all clear." Me ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puzzlinggamer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2014
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Your Background (x-p from r/funny)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCSKlepto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2013
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Sticky situation youtu.be/U_YBzJBa_mA
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norspur
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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Am I the asshole in this situation?

So a bit of background here, I am fully dependent on my carer. Where he goes, I go. What he eats, I have to eat too. And because of that, if he wants to eat the wrong thing, I suffer.

I have no control over what he feeds us and I can't always tolerate the foods he likes. If he eats food that is too spicy, I yell at him. Like a lot. I've even made him cry a few times. But the thing is, I can't control myself. Every time I talk, it is shit for everyone in my vicinity, especially him. That's why I need him as a carer. I really tried to not give him shit for a couple weeks by not talking at all but he thought it was so bad that I did that he took me to the doctor to force me to keep giving out instead of bottling it all up.

I don't know what to do. I'm literally the end point of his digestive system. Am I the asshole?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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Not my dad but hilarious nonetheless

So for background, I work at McDonald's. I have to scan every Euro Bill 50 € and up.

So one day a dad comes in with his two little daughters. He places his order and hands me a 50 € bill. I scan it and scan it again and the machine won't recognize its validity, when the dad says:'That's odd, I JUST changed my printer's toner' Daughters facepalm other dads in line nod

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kappas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
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I'm still in awe by my fathers' genius.

I'm sitting at the dining room table with my mom just chatting about nothing in particular, when my dad walks with this shit eating grin holding something behind his back. Now for a little background info, my dad NEVER does surprises. And I mean never. So I immediately knew something was up. My mom turns around and asks him what's going on. He tells her to close her eyes and hold out her hands because he got her a surprise. At this point my mom gets really excited and asking, "what is it?! What is it?!" To which my dad replies,

"Do you remember when we went out the other day and you were looking at those new running shoes, but you decided not to get them because they were too expensive?"

To which she responds, "ahhhh! Yes I remember!!"

He then says, "well I saw how much you liked them so I decided to get you a pear."

And he puts a fresh pear in her hands.

She still won't talk to him.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/laxerado1313
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2014
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My wife and I started fighting each other whilst wearing boxing gloves and 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background...

We are going through a Rocky patch!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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