Ewe be Ewe
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︎ Jan 13 2020
A sweater can be an absolute ewe knit.
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︎ Oct 07 2018
Wee fish, ewe, a mare, egrets, moose, wee fish, ewe, a mare, egrets, moose, wee fish, ewe, a mare, egrets, moose...
... and a hippo gnu year.
First saw that one in 1984 and it burned itself into my memory. :)
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︎ Dec 02 2014
The fact this is a real company is ewe-tterly baffling.
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︎ Feb 09 2018
Is it called a ewe turn because that's what happens when one sees a pervy shepherd coming?
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︎ Mar 14 2018
I'm so sorry.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
I really hate wearing this wool sweater that my wife bought for me.
It makes me feel sheepish.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
I hear some of the goats are pregnant
But I think they're kidding.
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︎ Jan 25 2021
A sheep dog tells her owner she found all fifty sheep. Her owner says that there should only be 46
The dog says, βbut I rounded them up.β
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︎ Mar 25 2020
I tried roasted lamb for the first time
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︎ Feb 05 2021
I once ate a wool ball
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︎ Nov 08 2020
What do you call a bear with urinary incontinence?
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︎ Sep 24 2020
are there any Sheep Puns that could be used to name a Sheep?
Names such as:
Baa-bara
Wool Smith
EWE-NICE
Brittney Shears
John Sebastian Baach
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︎ Jan 02 2021
I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit!
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︎ Jul 26 2020
One time in my anatomy class, we dissected a sheep brain and I have to admit, I felt a bit sheepish about it.
Sorry, that was just a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d joke.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
What starts with an βeβ, ends with an βeβ and only has one letter in it?
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︎ May 22 2020
I herd you
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︎ Apr 21 2020
What does a male sheep say when he wants to credit a female sheep?
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︎ Dec 22 2020
One of my favorite ornaments.
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︎ Dec 06 2019
I came up with my own dad joke a few weeks ago
My 14 year old daughter got up from the table after eating a bowl of cereal, so I told her to put the milk away. Then we had this exchange:
"Before you put that back in the fridge, why don't you plug it into the iPhone charger on the counter first?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, you gotta charge up that milk. It's only at one percent!"
I say it so often now that my kids stopped eating cereal, and have pretty much cut dairy from their diets.
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︎ Jan 31 2020
I saw a sheep in a swimsuit driving a sports car today.
It must have been a Lamb bikini.
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︎ Jul 26 2020
Where did the shepherd take his sheep after it got lost and nearly died of hypothermia?
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︎ Dec 10 2020
The neighbour's sheep failed to break into the grain shed.
There was no battering ram.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
If I told you I knew a convoluted joke about a golf club, a sheep, a stinging insect, a tree, and that scary clown movie...
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︎ Nov 15 2020
What is a sheep cloner's favorite letter?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 08 2020
What starts with an E and ends with an E, but often only has one letter?
π︎ 11k
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︎ Dec 31 2017
Whatβs a sheepβs favorite instrument?
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︎ Apr 03 2020
Whoβs been a baaaaaad girl?
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︎ Nov 20 2020
The final four letters in the word βqueueβ arenβt silent...
Theyβre just waiting their turn...
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︎ May 21 2018
I have this weird talent where I can control sheep just by listening to them.
I herd it with my own ears.
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︎ Feb 10 2020
Why didn't the lamb want to play with their friends?
He was a little sheep-ish.
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︎ Mar 06 2020
Did you know sheep can tie up trees?
But I wood knot do that if I were ewe.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Which animal has the most memory?
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︎ Jun 08 2019
"Honey, you aren't fat...
... you're just more than i've ever wanted."
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︎ Mar 06 2020
Why did the ram fall off the cliff?
Because it didn't see the ewe turn.
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︎ Sep 14 2020
I read an article earlier that said it actually takes three sheep to make one sweaterβ¦
I didn't even know they could knit!
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︎ Nov 08 2017
My neighbor ran over from his farm and was sobbing. βMy sheep are missing!β He cried. βMy sheep are missing! Please help me!β
I said βthat sounds like a ewe problem.β
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︎ Jul 12 2020
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 11 2019
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep...
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
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︎ Apr 02 2019
What's a sheep's favorite song?
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︎ Jul 11 2020
What do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill?
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︎ Dec 22 2017
X a sheep and potato?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 31 2020
What word starts with "e", ends with "e", and only has one letter in it?
π︎ 14k
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︎ Dec 02 2018
I just saw a scantily-clad sheep driving a sports car
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︎ Feb 11 2020
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