A list of puns related to "BabyFirst"
I said to her, "Stop being such a baby and stop crying."
My wife groaned.
I regret nothing
When the baby mosquito got home, he was so excited
“Dad, dad, you were wrong, everyone was happy to see me, they were all clapping for me!”
"Mama, Mama! Did you see? Everyone was clapping for me"
I immediately reply with "well yeah, he just got out if the oven"
I’ll hand them to her and say “Here’s the fruits of your labor.”
Then she told me she doesn’t want lizards in the house. Make up your mind!
Not HDMI, because Baby Yoda can't speak.
FunGus
He turns to me and says " Well, there's always womb for improvement."
Probably came after his second word
My mom thought about it and said "You guys can call me Grammie!"
My dad, without missing a beat, said "Well then I guess you can call me Oscar."
/r/granddadjokes
The captain responded, "No shit, I used to be a seaman."
The ultrasound technician asks what names they thought of.
The dad remarks "his name will be Miles. Kilometer for short."
Dad: “Let’s snot and say we did.”
…but as he grows older and bigger, Daddy Balloon insists he sleeps in his own bed.
Baby Balloon doesn't like being all alone, he misses his Mommy and Daddy so much, that after a few nights, he tries to sneak back into Mommy Balloon and Daddy Balloon's bed, only to find that he had grown too big to fit in the bed with them!
He decides to let some air out of Mommy Balloon, but there's still not enough room, so he let's some air out of Daddy Balloon, but again there's not enough room, so he lets some air out of himself and finally he fits into the bed!
Well, the following morning Daddy Balloon is furious!
"I am very disappointed with you!" says Daddy Balloon. "Not only have you let your Mother down, but you have let me down and let yourself down!"
Destroyer of Peas.
The baby said excitedly "it was awesome; everyone was clapping for me!"
Gee, we sure do make a great pear!
He wanted to make coffee, so I had him work the percolator. He wanted to make sure the lid locked properly.
Me: "Yeah just make sure that when you seal the lid, it doesn't pop because sometimes when it pops it falls off the counter.".
Bro: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Just make sure not to pop, lock, and drop it."
Eskimo cannibalism isn't so bad...once you get Inuit.
HDMI
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