Back in college I was so broke I couldn't pay my electric bill

Those were the darkest days of my life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buckleys__angel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2022
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I was eating at a restaurant last night when the waitress screamed β€œdoes anyone know CPR?”

I shouted β€œI know the whole alphabet!” Everyone laughed… except this one guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckdodger1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2022
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everyone is complaining about the gas prices

but not Bryan, he is flyin'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crizzeone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2022
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I've been on this sub for over a year. Here are all the unwritten rules:

<blank>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Up_One_Down
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2022
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If you were a typewriter, you'd be an IBM Selectric..

...because you are always on the ball.

Only the ancient among us will get this one.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_Selectric_typewriter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnyNameAvailable
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2022
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I heard that Sean Connery once pulled the razor out of a man’s hand, who was shredding a large pile of cash to bits

I guess he wanted to shave a dollar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FermentToBee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2022
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