7 Hilarious BM Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

R: "Batman, the batmobile is making a clicking sound and won't start." BM: "Check the battery."

R: "What's a tery?"

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👤︎ u/Chateau512

📅︎ Nov 21 2019

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A constipated man goes to visit his doctor.

"Doc, I haven't pooped in a week! Please help!"

Doc says sure, and writes him a prescription for a weeks worth of suppositories.

Man comes back the next day, "doc, I took the entire script last night, but nothing happened!"

The doc is shocked, as in his experience suppositories are very effective, and after taking a weeks worth he should have definitely had a BM. Oh well, the doc thinks, and gives him another weeks worth.

Guy comes back the next day. The doc says incredulously, "you've taken 2 weeks worth of suppositories in 2 days, and nothing happened?!?! What are you doing with them, eating them?!?!"

The man replies, "What'd you expect me to do with them, Shove 'em up my ass?!?!"

I don't know if this would normally be considered a dad joke, but it's my dad's favorite joke so I think it should count.

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/Officer_PoopyPants

📅︎ Sep 19 2020

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What is the cutest car?

A BM-cuddle-U

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/kickypie

📅︎ Jul 07 2020

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My 13yo has had enough. I disagree.

https://imgur.com/a/b4uxwBM

👍︎ 98

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👤︎ u/harryISbored

📅︎ Jan 29 2020

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What kind of missiles do you find in toilets?

ICBMs

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/Ptomb

📅︎ Jun 20 2019

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What do missile silos and winter outhouses share in common?

They both store icy BMs.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/5np

📅︎ Sep 06 2019

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When I'm splitting a plate of calamari...

...it's squid pro quo.

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👤︎ u/plushcoots

📅︎ Jan 02 2016

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