Wanted to shot some skunked beer cans with my BB gun but my dad wouldn't let me.

He said it was alcohol abuse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GOMPERxSTOMPER
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
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BB King (x-post with /r/fivenightsatfreddys and /r/fivenightsatpunnys twilightsparklebutt.devia…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trifreddy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2016
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What happened when the two bullets got married?

They had a BB

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chipperxyz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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I'm a member of the American Medical Association, AMA.
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahotpineapple
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2017
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When I'm splitting a plate of calamari...

...it's squid pro quo.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plushcoots
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2016
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Racket
πŸ‘︎ 282
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CamelSandwich
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2016
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My 5-year-old niece is a little shit.

We were celebrating my other niece's 2nd birthday, when my 5-year-old niece comes up to me and says, "Hey Uncle, wanna play a game?"

"Sure. What game?"

"You pick a letter and I say three words that start with that letter."

Since it was her sister's birthday, I picked "B", assuming that she’ll probably say "Birthday".

She was like, "Okay… B... B... BB..."

I sat there for a second in a moment of defeat...

"Yes. Those are all words."

You little shit.


Edit for the Dad-impaired: "Be... Bee... BB..."

2nd Edit: Awesome! Each of my nieces got me to the top of this sub! Here's the one about the 2-year-old.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ted_E_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2016
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What do canon balls do after they fall in love.

They make bb’s

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet

We’re gonna have a BB!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adiadadous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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My pregnant wife was complaining to me today

"I'm miserable."

"Hi Ms. Erable, I'm George"

No response.

http://imgur.com/EdBbSIS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R-U
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
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As a father of two, he has taught me well.

Backstory: A small group of squirrels has been stealing our bird seed. We've tried a variety of methods to get them to stop, and my wife said "we need a bb gun." I had one when I was 12! "I bet my parents still have it," I said.

Me: Do you still have my old BB gun? Or a BB gun? or a pellet gun?

Mom: No, what r u doing?

Me: Killing squirrels.

Dad: Nuts, I wish I could help.

.....I cannot be upset because one day I will do this to my own children, like my father before me.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wakeboarder1019
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2015
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A joke from my Dad I just remembered from when I was seven.

What'd the Daddy bullet say to the Momma bullet?

Lets make a BB.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoxyMcChunk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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