We used to have a Teacher’s assistant named Ruth, but one day she left.
After that, our teacher became ruthless
Ad in local paper : 'Wanted Barber's assistant'
What are Aquaman's assistants?
I was buying the wife some underwear, I asked the shop assistant;
“Are these knickers satin?"
"No” she said, “They’re brand new...”
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
I went to the book store and asked the assistant for any books about turtles.
She asked " Hardback? " And I said.. .." yeah, and little heads. "
I was in town earlier on looking for some fly killer. I picked up a can and asked the young store assistant "Excuse me, is this any good for wasps?"
"No" he said, "It kills them"
Why was the baker’s assistant fired?
Last summer, I worked on a party boat for the assistants to the staff of Terry Crews
I was on the Crews' crew's crew cruise crew.
Today, the day after Ash Wednesday, my assistant discovered she actually enjoys making spreadsheets.
I told her that was excellent.
.
(This is a true story.)
I was in the Apple store the other day and the sales assistant Robert, approached me and asked would I like to try the new iPhone. Not interested, I turned and said:
I asked the shop assistant where the Terminator action figures were.
She said "Aisle B, back".
Is Google Assistant a dad?
http://i.imgur.com/KD1dxhgh.jpg
What do you call it when your virtual assistant misunderstands your request?
When you ask google assistant for a pun and you instantly regret it
I'm the best Assistant DJ in the entire world....
In fact, I hold the record!
What’s a Dr. Peppers assistant
What do you call a Scottish cloakroom assistant?
My executive assistant has long hair.
I asked the book store assistant where the books on self help were...?
She replied "Sorry, that would defeat the purpose"
Why didn't Billie Joe Armstrong use any assistants when he was on a cooking show?
It's because he woks alone.
Why did the dental assistant go to the comedy club?
She was told she was really good at impressions!
An assistant to a breakfast chef was fired from his job for stealing utensils.
When they asked him why he stole he said, "it was a whisk I was willing to take".
When my son was born the assistant dropped him so I proceeded to make some real lifestyle changes
It was a real midwife crisis
How does Sherlock Holmes ask his assistant what he is thinking about?
Paul's an assistant at a butcher shop . He's 6 foot tall and wears a size 9 shoe . What does he weight ?
Google assistant got no chill!!
"Excuse me, what's the expiry date on this?" I asked the shop assistant.
"Sir," he said, "that's a calendar."
Branch manager and assistant to the branch manager
I was in a shop talking to an assistant. I said, "I want some stuff for my kitchen, you know..."
"Kitchenware?" she asked.
I said, "In my house, of course."
Did you hear about the baker and his assistant Pi?
It was a pretty ordinary day. A woman came in wanting a couple piece of cheesecake, and the baker was busy. So Pi cut her 3.14 slices...
I walked into a furniture shop. I said to the assistant, "That leather seat over there...I've been sent in by my wife to buy it for her."
He said, "Ah, I've got one those at home."
I said, "Well, she can't be as bossy as mine."
Today I was waiting have a cavity filled at the dentist when the assistant hands me the smart tv remote to put something on while I wait.
So I say “Nothing like a little Netflix and drill”
Dadjoking the crowd every time I introduce my assistant
"This is my assistant. She's also my sister, so that makes her my assister!"
What do you call the assistant to the assistant nut?
I went to a cake shop and told the assistant that I wanted to design a cake for my wife.
"What would she like on top of that?" asked the assistant.
I said, "Probably some money and for me to do the cleaning."
Apparently Google Assistant recently became a father.
I saw this on the FrontPage and immediately thought of you guys.
https://imgur.com/8Be1Y7J
I went into the local card shop and asked the assistant whether they did bereavement cards..
.. she said “yes of course”, “great!” I said, “can I exchange this ‘get well soon’ card for a bereavement card?”
(My Dad just laid this one on me)
The teaching assistant for our class didn't show up the day after injuring his foot
Our professor told us he had a lame excuse
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, “Is this good for wasps?”
He said, “No, it kills them.”
A shop assistant tried stopping an armed robber by attacking him with a labeling gun.
Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
Google Assistant telling Dad Jokes
http://imgur.com/22YJqvO.jpg
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