18 Hilarious Access Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Here’s a little early access to a pun I made. I’m not sure if this joke has been said before but I hope not. I love making up puns

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👤︎ u/Kyledreeling10

📅︎ Dec 16 2020

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Do you know what someone says when they have no access to Swedish furniture stores?

I have no IKEA

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👤︎ u/Cornelius_M

📅︎ Dec 19 2020

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Farmers notice : Public access to this field and footpath is free.

.. But the Bull charges.

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👤︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2

📅︎ Jul 25 2020

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How do trees access the internet?

They log on.

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👤︎ u/Quint_Cordewener

📅︎ Jun 05 2019

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Public opinion was favorable for local farmer banning outsiders access to hills filled with mushroom on his land.

He had the morel high ground.

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👤︎ u/Iuntti

📅︎ Nov 06 2019

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I wanted to set up a bar inside of a cave but the police denied me access to

They said it was illegal to give alcohol to miners

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👤︎ u/MonotoneYay

📅︎ Sep 13 2019

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What do you call a secret place that grows Bananas, that you can only access through the back of a wardrobe?

Banarnia

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👤︎ u/Bulletproof_Soul

📅︎ Jul 29 2019

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More people have access to a mobile phone than a toilet.

I think we really need to upgrade our plumbers.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Jun 21 2019

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Coworker wanted to put an access point in his garage so he could get Wi-Fi at his firepit...

I guess he wanted to turn his firepit into a hotspot.

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👤︎ u/Shutter_87

📅︎ Jul 22 2019

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Three European contrabass players were denied access to USA at the airport customs

They wouldn't let contraband enter the country.

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👤︎ u/Plaineman

📅︎ Mar 08 2019

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I think dads automatically gain access to a dadjoke reservoir the moment they become dads...

My aunt recently had a baby, and she was telling us about the experience the other day at a family get-together. How beautiful her little girl is, how amazing the experience was, yadda yadda. Then she told us about my uncle's reaction, which she was less than thrilled about.

When my uncle saw his daughter for the first time after my aunt had just labored for hours, he said:

"Damn, it's 2013, you'd think they'd have started making these things cordless by now."

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👤︎ u/CloudyWithRain

📅︎ Dec 24 2013

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I was trying to show my dad the advantages of storing his passwords in the cloud in order to never lost them and have access from anywhere when...

He looked at my with a smile in his face and say... "But what if it's sunny?"

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👤︎ u/Juerguist

📅︎ Apr 03 2018

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I was going to go into a long explanation of how to access an ATM machine but...

...let's put a pin in that for a moment.

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👤︎ u/mrthatsthat

📅︎ May 08 2018

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A belt that allows chefs easy access to spices...

Could be called a waist of thyme

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👤︎ u/riz_lemon

📅︎ Sep 01 2016

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Did you know the U.A.E don’t have access to the flinstones?

But the Abu-Dhabi-Do!

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👤︎ u/TeeDogz

📅︎ Dec 07 2017

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How do trees access the internet?

They log on.

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👤︎ u/bridge_view

📅︎ Apr 30 2019

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How do trees 🎄 access internet?

They log in

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👤︎ u/da5kicka

📅︎ Nov 02 2018

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How do trees access the internet?

They log on

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👤︎ u/johnybou

📅︎ May 11 2019

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