De-calf-inated
They call him Dick tater for life.
Its just cancelling your pre-order.
Beacuse it wasn't born yesterday.
Come here often?
After all, it does bring out your inner child.
You can unscrew a light bulb
But it's hard to deliver
Plant Parenthood.
Ask your sister.
But I don't have a-
One of my wife's bosses is from China with the family name Wong.
Wife was telling me that said boss just had a baby a few months ago.
(At this moment, my dad powers started kicking in...)
Me: "Huh, that's cool. When her husband visits the office next time, you should ask them if the baby's Caucasian."
Wife: "What?! Why?"
Me: Cause I wanna know if two 'Wongs' make a 'White'..."
Her eyes rolled so hard they detached.
Edit: Thanks for front page folks! Glad I could make you laugh (or groan...)
Edit 2: Thank you for the gold!
Edit 3: WIFE'S IN THE THREAD!! Abort! Abort! Wee woo wee woo wee woo
It must have been the delivery.
They were Unplanned Parenthood.
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
EDIT: An older gentleman spent the whole afternoon in the gas station telling dad jokes to every customer that walked through the door. This was mine.
Some context: my dad listed the drinks we had, which read "orange juice, decaf, milk."
Me: (jokingly) Decaf milk?
Dad: All milk is decaf because we get it and the calf doesn't!
The man is legendary.
They both end up scraping the bottom of the barrel.
I had to Abort
I was typing something about abortion and I accidentally started to misspell it.
My Phone: "Did you mean "antilabor"?
Me: "Well... yeah..."
He survives through to the 24th century and gets his own ship. He somehow runs afoul of a certain Bajoran captain who used to be a distinguished ensign on the Enterprise, under Captain Picard.
The movie then becomes about their conflict. The response from the studio wasn't kind. They said I should abort the idea. They said it would be too controversial to make a movie about Ro v. Wade.
Wife: "One of my friends just named their kid Dexter. Would you ever name a kid Dexter?"
Me: "Yeah, that's a killer name!"
And there's no plan b.
