My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.

Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/logansworth
šŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.

But I believe this sub's doing even better!

šŸ‘︎ 127
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Verbal_Ammo
šŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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87.9% of all statistics...

...are made up right there on the spot.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/EcksMarksDespot
šŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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You can be -273,15 Ā°C (-457,87 Ā°F) but still be 0K.
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/LemanRussNL
šŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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My 87 year old grandpa has still got it

We were talking about the government shutdown when he said....

"Well congress tried to move the bill through the house but they couldn't budget."

šŸ‘︎ 81
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/joeltrane
šŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2013
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Dadjoked by my 87-year-old grandpa

My 87-year-old grandpa is very hard of hearing and usually takes just a little longer to process thoughts than most people. But he was on top of his game tonight at dinner.

My mom: "Alright, let's say a little grace."

The moment that my mom finished saying the word "grace," my grandpa said, "A little grace."

I guess after being a dad for over 50 years, the jokes come quicker than normal speech. Hopefully, one day I, too, will reach this mastery of the art of dadjoking.

šŸ‘︎ 52
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šŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
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Grandma Jokes anyone? Hit me with your best dad jokes for my Grandma who loves dumb jokes and needs some laughs

I hope this type of post is allowed!

I am going to visit my grandma this Tuesday to say goodbye to her. She is 87 and very ill, she is mentally still with it but in a lot of pain. She sounds at peace, I think she is just doing her best to hang on til we can get to her.

My grandma loves stupid jokes, dad jokes, puns, all that stuff. Iā€™d love to share some laughs with her when I say goodbye. Hit me with your favorite and dumbest dad jokes and I will share the best ones with her.

Thank you Reddit fam!

šŸ‘︎ 7
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/atrashx
šŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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Went to the gas station today.

Started filling up tank with regular 87. Didn't sound right, so I pulled the nozzle out and see that it was just a bunch of shaving cream. Tried the mid grade: rubber snakes. Premium: Jimmy Kimmel canceled Christmas.

Dammit, April Fuels.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/abeannis
šŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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My 7y/o daughter Dad joked my dad.

He just back from driving my grandmother home from visiting her friend at the hospital. She's 87 in great health but does nothing but complain about anything and everything, even though she lives with family and has company all the time.

He walks back in the house and says "Wow I didn't even hear her complain once!"

My daughter made the megaphone with her hands and yelled "Can you hear me baba...did you go deaf!!"

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šŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2015
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Whenever an order comes to less than 21$

"15:87 please"

"that was a good year!"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/nowa90
šŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
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[LONG] Found this on my girlfriend's Dad's facebook.

Sorry, but I need to vent!! So I went to Target to get some clearance Halloween stuff. I noticed this lady was staring at me in the same aisle I was in. No biggie. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes. Again... STARING! So now I'm like, What is her problem?! I finish up my shopping and head to the check out line. Of course who is there ahead of me but this same lady. She turns around and starts staring again. So I start playing with my phone b/c I'm getting a little uncomfortable. Finally she says "I want to apologize for staring at you, but you look just like my son who just passed away." I felt really bad after that and gave her my condolences. She says "Thank you...but I have a favor to ask. I know it's weird and understand if you don't want to, but can you give me a hug and say 'Bye Mama' to me?" Inside I was like buuuuh?!??!, but understanding grief the way that I do, I went ahead and did it. She smiles, thanks me, and leaves. The cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to $100.87. I knew something wasn't right, because it should have been like $40 or so. The cashier then tells me that my total was included with my mom's. I'm like, "What?!!!" She said, "Your mom said you were paying for her last few items along with your things. I told her that the woman was most definitely NOT my mom. She said, well I saw you hug her and heard you call her mama. I'm like OMG...I flew out of the store looking for this horrible person, ready to drag her back in, I see her loading up her car! She saw me and jumped in her car, I got to her as she was putting her leg in, and I started pulling her leg hard enough that her wooden leg came off!! Omg how is this happening right now?! So I grabbed her other leg and started pulling! Just like I'm pulling yours right now!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/haucker
šŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2015
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Girlfriend got dad joked by her grandpa today...

So, my girlfriend and I were at her grandparents house today and she was saying hi to her grandpa. Now, her grandpa is 87 years old and a little senile so you have to ask him if he remembers you. So she was asking "who am I?" and he was still quick on it saying "well you should know by now!". It made me laugh real hard. I really didn't expect a response like that

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Fithace
šŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2015
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At a minor league basketball game with my friend and his dad

The 87'ers were losing to the Springfield Armor. My friend's dad turns to me and says, "I guess you could say they're under-armour."

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/theflyingbanana
šŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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87% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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šŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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