2020 24 hours to go!

I wanna be sedated.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChristopherLove
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours

So they called it a day

πŸ‘︎ 744
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kobykins
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Early scientists would watch the world spin for 24 hours...

Then they got bored and called it a day.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiteRdr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle once had a 24-hour epileptic episode.

Now that's what I call seizing the day.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jazst
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
God finished creating the 24-hour cycle on Earth...

...with both darkness and light taking turns. He admired his hard work with a smile and a sigh. An angel asked him β€œWhat’s wrong, Lord?” God replied β€œI think I’m gonna call it a day.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beard_on
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to name a period of 24 hours.

I had to call it a day.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuurmanSnoek
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
From sunrise to sunset, I couldn't remember the name for a 24 hour time period. I finally did.

Then I called it a day.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was a dad for less than 24 hours when I came up with this one

We had a little girl at 34 weeks. She was very fussy and the nurse called her a little diva.

I responded with, β€œMore like a preemie-Donna”

The wife groaned and rolled her eyes.

The nurse asked for permission to use that since we were in the NICU.

I made it, fellas.

Oh, and mom and baby are doing well!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when it takes more than 24 hours to see any election results?

Electile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiquidSnake13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a portion of fish that lasts for 24 hours?

A Daytona.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/esma3ell
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said β€œI’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said β€œWhat are you going to do now?” ...

β€œOh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I plan to open a 24 hour Chinese restaurant.

I’m going to name it Wok Around the Clock.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichyCigars
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Astronomers got tired of watching the Earth rotate after 24 hours

so they decided to call it a day

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
You know how yesterday, the earth spun around for 24 hours?

After that, it called it a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pokefan180
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the astronomer who studied the moon for 24 hours

They got bored and called it a day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frenchstery
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Scientists recently spent 24 hours observing the moon orbit around earth.

They got bored and called it a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegur90
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Remember those periods of 24 hours that made up weeks

Yah, those were the days

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
On this can of deodorant it said "Lasts 24 hours"

So the next day I bought another can

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
[WP] For 24 hours each year, all cats can break any cat laws without consequences. Welcome to the Purrrge. reddit.com/r/WritingPromp…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meaney2415
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
After all the hand-wringing, criticism and 24-hour coverage, Anthony Scaramucci ended up only holding his new job in the White House for a single week...

...It was Mooch ado about nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afeastforgeorge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my friend who works at 24 Hour Fitness

Saw a friend and asked him where he's working now. He told me he works at 24 Hour Fitness.

My response: "Well, I guess today you only work at 23 Hour Fitness"

Him: Groan

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OregonMAX13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Within less than 24 hours of becoming a Dad...

Friend became a father. He has recently moved house. My wife went crazy and bought baby clothes.
I sent him an email that said "Wifey has gone mad. What's your new address?".
His reply "We don't want her."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/finackles
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Every time dad sees a digital 24 hour clock at quarter past 8 in the evening he says...

"It's that time of the year again!"

Roll on 2060...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chibolamoo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
🚨︎ report
The day has 24 hours. If we cant finish our work, we still have the night.

A saying of my father a frontpage post inspired me to share.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klanawagna
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2015
🚨︎ report
No more that 24 hours after my Brother's wife gave birth to their first child he laid this one on me...

Him: Why did the Cowboy adopt a Wiener Dog?

Me: Oh boy here it comes... why?

Him: Because he wanted to get a long little doggie...

The Dad is strong with my Bro

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Awesomebra
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Scientists got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours

They called it a day

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RaptorDesign
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Scientists got bored of watching the earth turn so after 24 hours

they called it a day

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, β€œwhat are you going to do now?”

God said, β€œI think I’m going to call it a day.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did God say when he created a 24 hour period of alternating day and night?

Call it a day

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I had been working for 24 hours straight...

..so I decided to call it a day.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2015
🚨︎ report
After watching the moon go around the Earth for 24 hours straight, the astronauts got so tired of it that .....

they decided to call it a day.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2015
🚨︎ report

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