Mm yes
πŸ‘︎ 177
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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Are underpants with a 3.14 mm wide crotch fabric called

pi-thongs?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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The perfect date
πŸ‘︎ 331
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long pole. He hates it.

It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.

πŸ‘︎ 457
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaolCroi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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If you tell me what my idea of a perfect date is...

I personally think it's DD/MM/YY. The rest are a bit confusing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/butterymix
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What's your idea for a perfect date?

MM/DD/YYYY. I find other formats confusing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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What's your idea of a perfect date?
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
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George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey got together to make a movie.

GC: I'll direct

LD: I'll produce

MM: I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

πŸ‘︎ 570
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeartBreakKid99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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My mom got us all last night

My family ate out in celebration of my sister graduating. On the way out, my mom grabbed a mint and tried to open it, but the package ripped and it went flying. She looked at the ground, sighed, and said, "well, I guess it wasn't mint to be."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2015
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My last joke got taken down.

Here's a mirror.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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A drunk Roman is talking to a stranger in a bar β€œDo you know how many women I slept with?”
  • Mm?
  • No, not that many
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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My girlfriend’s parents are very religious and the first time I was at their house, her dad told me we weren’t allowed to sleep together...

It was a bit of a shame...he was very attractive.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2018
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Dad nearly made me and mom choke on our coffee

Backstory: I had bought a set of nice Nespresso coffee cups for my parents for Christmas (original, I know). But these aren't your standard, chunky, ceramic Christmas mugs with snowflakes or Santas, but actually something for the type of coffee fanatics that spend their money on Clooney's kind of blend, what else?

So - having dessert; cake, coffee, the whole shabang.

Me, inspecting one of said cups: "I'm glad I actually found a set that doesn't stay in the cupboard all year like literally every other mug you've ever gotten from anyone."

Mom, eating cake: "Mm-hmm."

Me: "Like, these are actually really nice. I like the pattern around the base and how they're round and square at the same time."

Mom, between bites: "They're very nice."

Suddenly, Dad, eating his cake completely silently up until this point: "You should take a picture of them. Might make for a pretty cool mugshot."

Cue me barely managing to swallow my coffee, Mom chuckling into her cup and both our subsequent groans

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robowiizard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2017
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Shapely

Sorting through junk mail full of holiday sales.

Wife: "Nothing but circulars?"

Me: "Mm, they're mostly rectangulars."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickfree
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2014
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